i was thinking this morning about how i categorize fanfic authors that i enjoy like AKC breeds and decided to share my rubric with you:
the specialist: this author has a favorite kink or trope and has written 80% of the content in that tag. you know exactly what youāre getting. they have A Brandā¢ļø. no matter what other traits they display, dedicated rare pair authors belong here.
the chocolate box: essentially the exact opposite. this author will try anything once. they have 80+ works in the fandom with no discernible pattern. the shortest one is 268 words and the longest is well over 100k. this breed of author may or may not be related to:
the renaissance fan: theyāve written three things in your fandom: your favorite fic, your notp, and a bizarre crossover with a show youāve never heard of. you hit āexpand fandoms listā on their author page and have to scroll down twice to reach the bottom. whenever you curse the fact that you canāt legally commission fic writers, this is the author youāre thinking about.
the horn dog: theyāre here for one thing and one thing only. if someoneās dick is not in another characterās mouth within 500 words, they apologize for it in the authorās notes. they have one (1) g-rated fic.
the rookie: this writer is usually young, new to fandom, or just got a beta-reader for the first time. their fics are a little all over the place, quality-wise, but youāre excited whenever their name pops up because their unique voice gets stronger every time. you feel a personal investment in their development, like youāre an old man reading the local high school sports page and saying āthis kidās the one to watch.ā
the live streamer: the most prolific author in the fandom. their works are all over the front page when you sort by kudos. you have no idea how they generate this much work, and have seriously wondered if they have access to an extra-dimensional time portal. their stories are usually un-betaād and the characterization varies wildly, but their best works are inspired and youāve read them 30 times.
the cryptid: this one comes out of nowhere every two years, drops the best fanfic youāve ever read, and disappears. fifteen months after you left a three paragraph comment about how they changed your life, you get a message in your inbox that just says āthanks.ā
the novelist: we talk about āfiling off the serial numbersā when someone reworks their most popular story to pitch it as an original novel; this author somehow does the reverse. their fics are excellent, usually long-reaching multi-chapter AUs that have almost nothing to do with the on-screen characters except their names. iād like to extend my personal thanks to this breed of author because itās the closest i get to reading an actual book.
the reunion tour: this author wrote some of the most popular works in the fandom, but either moved on to k-pop or burned out when canon took a turn for the worse. they put out one new thing a year, often an old draft thatās been haunting them from under the floorboards. their last six authorās notes all say they never thought theyād write this pairing again and āthis will probably be the last time.ā
who did i miss?
