find your inner bard @goblin-ecology - Tumblr Blog

Anon visits webpages in 2022

As others have pointed out before, if you visited a web page 20 years ago and it acted like that, you would rightly assume your computer had gotten a virus.

epilepticsaints

if-you-see-gay-me

magnetictapedatastorage

heatandapathy

Needs the last part

captainscarletsc

scoundrellyfeline

@heatandapathy you forgot the best part

tsamired

you are never living this down

fleshdyke

godawful post i made when i was 14. let me escape it please god

animentality

bobbole

Palestinian children were prevented from going to school by razor wire and israeli soldiers — so they sat down and studied right in front of them (via AndreyX)

crreature

11 year old Huda, April 26, 2026, via CNN

garaks-gay-garderobe

never have I ever thought "he would not fucking say that" about harry du bois. he just says whatever. in fact, he probably has said that!

what-even-is-thiss

It’s so funny to me that the Mr beast team took some mid range influencers on a tour of beast games and put Folding Ideas and Doug Walker in the same group

what-even-is-thiss

Seemingly they were very polite with each other as expected from mostly normal adults but imagine going on a tour of Mr beast hq with Doug Walker which is weird enough but you are also someone who made a whole video about how he doesn’t understand creativity or subtext

mortimermcmirestinks

it's like this

delavegaaaaa

“You can’t fix him” I don’t wanna fix him! I wanna FUCK him! I’m a pervert not a psychologist!

porcelain-rob0t

the european mind cannot comprehend the 48 oz dunkin bucket

derryderrydown

Excuse me while I look something up...

1.4 litres????

wallace you cant say that

ryan-sometimes

As an autistic/adhd person going through the job search process I’ve learned to phrase my autistic/adhd traits as corporate friendly things. Here’s some examples:

I have trouble reading between the lines and picking up on implicit information? Actually, I’ve learned the importance of giving and receiving precise, specific instructions in order to avoid time consuming miscommunications.

I’m easily bored with only one task? Actually, I have a curious mind and thrive in places with a wide range of tasks as I prefer dynamic environments where I can contribute to many projects.

I have trouble with white lies that are merely social niceties? Actually, I prioritize a transparent work environment where we can tackle issues head-on.

This way I don’t have to lie, but rather just spin my truth in a way that’s palatable to them.

json-derulo

the past three weeks in a row, partner has gone to chipotle and been served by the same employee who, in bold defiance of the testimony of his own eyes and ears, ardently refuses to believe carnitas exist

json-derulo

partner: “Hi, could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and carnitas?”

employee (completely blank expression): “No.”

partner (autistic) (socialscript.exe encountered an unhandled exception) : “…Uh. Um. Sorry?”

employee: “We don’t have that.”

partner (wondering if perhaps he put too much of the authentic accent on the word and that’s what’s throwing the guy): “You don’t have…(pronouncing it whiter) carnitas?”

employee (face still unreadable): “No.”

partner (looking at the near-full hotel pan of perfectly normal carnitas in its usual place on the other side of the glass) (noticing this employee looks unfamiliar) (maybe he’s a new guy that just started five minutes ago with no training?) : “The…pork?” (pointing at it)

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (beginning to wonder if he’s the one that’s losing it) (desperately looks to the menu on the wall behind the employee) (the menu lists carnitas as a protein option) (the word “carnitas” is not crossed out or taped over or otherwise adulterated) (carnitas have been on the standard menu since at least 2016) : “Okay. Um. Are you…sure?”

other employee working the toppings part of the line (familiar) (have seen her before) (she has cool earrings): *gives the new guy a strange look, nudges him aside, and scoops the carnitas onto partner’s bowl before continuing with the other toppings*

Repeat conversation again the next week. And the next. Same guy. If it’s a bit, no one is laughing, including the employee.

json-derulo

theories I’ve considered:

- the employee keeps very strictly kosher/halal/vegan and refuses to handle pork (understandable, I respect that, but if you’re gonna work at a place that serves pork I do kinda feel like when someone orders it you’ve just gotta tap in a coworker to do it for you)

- someone did something gross to the carnitas and the employee is trying to warn people not to order it (??? throw it out then? also, three weeks in a row???)

- the employee is a space alien who views humans as so similar to pigs that for us to eat them is tantamount to cannibalism

json-derulo

- the employee is the lead in a kdrama romance about a pampered, clueless chaebol heir who is sent by his father to work in the company’s restaurants for a year in order to prove he’s ready to take over as CEO. he’s dumb as rocks but they can’t fire him or even correct him that harshly due to the power gradient. partner is just a minor reoccurring character, and the interaction is kept the same from week to week to highlight the development of the relationship between the employee and his love interest with the cool earrings (even if the restaurant is literally a fully-branded Chipotle, that’s somehow still not enough product placement for me to believe this is a real kdrama)

json-derulo

After reviewing again with partner, evidently I forgot a detail that set this week’s carnitas denial dance apart from the others.

partner (well aware of what he’s getting into with this guy now): “Hi. Could I please have a bowl with white rice, black beans, and pork?”

employee: “We don’t have pork.”

partner (demonstrating a level of patience only a public school teacher could have): *points at the pan of carnitas* “Could I please just have some of that?”

employee (after several slow, confused blinks): *points at the same pan* “That’s steak.”

partner (looking at the hotel pan they’re both pointing at) (it is filled with shredded meat of a pale beige color) (at the other end of the row of pans is another pan containing dark brown, lightly charred meat chopped into small pieces): “Okay.” *deciding he’s willing to play in this fantasy space if it gets the job done, he points at the first pan again* Then could I please have the steak?”

employee: *starts to reach for the pan at the other end containing the actual steak*

partner: "Oh—no, sorry, this one please?" *points at the first pan containing the carnitas*

employee: *blinks, then just walks away and starts helping the next customer in line, leaving partner's bowl unfinished*

other employee with cool earrings: *rolls her eyes at new employee, takes partner’s bowl, and fills it with carnitas herself*

new theories:

- the employee is a bridge troll who will only dole out his delectable carnitas to those who prove themselves worthy by correctly answering his riddles three

- the employee is stoned out of his mind at all times on a specific strain of weed that totally erases the concept of pork from his memory and awareness

putall

David Hoffman, London, 1973

shutyourmoustache

demonicae

Jurch

foldingfittedsheets

I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more incredible. Fifteen hundred hours of love to create this masterpiece. Humans are wonderful actually.

valleydean

Went to the pharmacy to buy my depression meds but I was also buying draino for my shower and the pharmacy ringing me up goes "that too?" And I said "yeah just in case the meds don't work" and she did not laugh

valdevia

For decades, Greebles have been used as stimuli in psychological studies testing the brain's facial recognition process. Greebles come in five families (Samar, Galli, Osmit, Radok and Tasio) and two genders (plok and glip).

Though nobody is sure where they come from or how they survive, science owes these odd creatures an enormous debt.

valdevia

They're real btw

siamont

WHAT

valdevia

Also they know the concept of evil (source)

valdevia

Art challenge: create a Greeblesona.

Remember:

Greebles can vary quite a lot within their established parameters!

Greebles have no face, no eyes, no mouth, no hands. Do not be fooled by our constrained view of organisms! Greebles merely have two boges, one quiff and one dunth. Please remember these terms!

There is a second breed of Greebles, though they are less common. These ones are asymmetrical, and have one boge and quiff next to each other, and two dunths. They're like the cursed mutated siblings of Greebles, and they are pitied by all.

If you make a greeblesona, please post it as a reblog or otherwise tag me so I don't miss it! (also tag as #greeblesona)

valdevia

Guys I made my greeblesona, glips name is Zobo.

Glip has experienced violence at the dunths of another greeble and has been scarred by it. But Zobo lives and thrives off of pure spite. Zobo is stronger.

Now, close your eyes, concentrate on the face recognition area of your brain and visualise your mind greeble. Draw it. Only your hand can pull it out if the cruel clutches of your fusiform gyrus.