mesmes99

[to be updated when not 4am]

[probablyreal]

on my puter

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 74 (masterpost here)

Jason: *over the sound of a motorcycle speeding* -swear to god, this bitch looks me dead in the eyes, and i'm thinking 'man i'm about to get clocked aren't i?'

Dick, indignant: Hood, you can't- *breathy laugh* you can't tell somebody to their face that their child looks like the 'do the roar' kid from Shrek!

Jason, still speeding: i can if it's true. anyway, she didn't clock me but she did tell me she was gonna report me to the HOA, so i was like, fuck man not this shit again,

Dick: *cackling*

Tim: they're like your version of the galactic empire, huh?

Jason: at this point, yeah. anyway i told her not to, and that we should just-

*tires screeching*

Jason: wHAT THE FUCK IS THAT- OHHOLYSHITFUCK-

*large crash* *burst of static* *silence*

Dick: ...Hood? fuck- HOOD?

Tim, casually: ope, there he goes.

Dick, panicking: FUCK. Hood, status? Hood!? shit, who's closest to Crime Alley?

Damian: uh- i am, i think, but i don't think Hood is hurt.

Dick: what? DID YOU NOT HEAR-?!?

Damian: i know; but Red isn't worried so obviously he's fine.

Dick: HOW THE FUCK WOULD HE KNOW, HE'S IN DIAMOND DISTRICT TONIGHT!?

Tim, absently: oh yeah Hood's fine, he probably just broke his com or something.

Damian: see? his sense would have gone off.

Dick: ...his 'sense'?

Damian: Red Robin has a special Hood-sense that tells him when Akhi is in danger.

Tim: hm- um, yeah. i got exposed to a magical artifact and now i'm connected to Hood mentally.

*a beat*

Dick: what.

Damian: Hood has text me. 'somebody shot a firework at my bike and it scared me, i broke my com in the crash, tell everyone i'm not dead'. ...i'm gonna go see if he needs help.

*disconnecting ping*

*silence*

Dick, muttering: 'a firework scared me' it's like working with a fucking border collie.

Tim: *snort* i mean at least he's alive?

Dick: yeah- ok, you do not have a fucking magical connection to Jason.

Tim, amused: yeah, nah i don't.

Dick: so what the fuck is he on about?

Tim, without missing a beat: oh we've synched our fitbits to compete in weekly step-counts, so if his heartbeat gets too elevated or stops completely i'd get an alert.

*a beat*

Dick: so why does Damian-?

Tim: we just thought it was funny if he thought i was magical.

[shabbytigers]

in other developments re german/anglo cultural exchange on breadstuffs, this image was posted to a facebook group yesterday

the following events ensued:

1. predictable lively discussion on the preparation of Wienerschnitzel, in which natives and wurstaboos are pro-puff and everybody else is like *confused dog head tilt* why wouldn’t you want the crust to stay ~attached to the thing you put it on? as with other fried foods?

2. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my band name” jokes

3. thirty “Bad Schnitzel is my stripper name” jokes

4. one “ah yes, Bad Schnitzel! a lovely spa town” joke

5. this absolute masterpiece:

[suppermariobroth]

The entry for Super Mario Galaxy 2 on Nintendo’s official site for the Super Mario Bros. 35th anniversary has an error in its ESRB rating: “Mild Cartoon Violence” is spelled “Mild Cartton Violence” instead. Bizarrely, this is spelled correctly in all other places on the website; suggesting that instead of using a template, some Nintendo employee typed out the ratings individually for each of the games.

Main Blog | Twitter | Patreon | Source: twitter.com user “Akfamilyhome”

[stupidpotpie]

mild carlton violence

[queerbit]

[only-cat-memes]

[thecolorofthegame]

[bjurnberg]

Kneading bread dough is the most grounding thing for me. So I decided to make some rolls to relieve some stress and make something nice.

@stealingyourbones has made some delightful food abominations, which taught me I can replace the water in bread with almost any liquid.

So I tried Miso.

The yeast loved it and frothed up super fast. Mixing miso broth with the egg and oil smelled funky. The dough didn’t rise any fluffier than usual but the texture feels good. Then I decided to roll in some black garlic and green onion. I’d add nori crumbled up but I ran out.

Now we let it bake.

[bjurnberg]

Holyshitumaioishiiii

This is amazing. It tastes like if miso soup was solid. The flavor is immaculate. It’s just missing the nori flavor. I can add that next time because I am 100% making this again.

[bjurnberg]

WAIT I HAD FURIKAKE IN THE CUPBOARD!!!!

This is what perfection tastes like.

[bjurnberg]

Yes! I love sharing recipes! @lady-jeleania

Here’s my Gma Vesta’s hamburger bun recipe:

1 Tbsp yeast

1/2 cup warm water (miso broth)

- mix together and let it froth up

1 1/2 cup warm water (miso broth)

1/2 cup sugar

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 egg

1/4 cup olive oil

- mix all together, then add frothy yeast

5 1/2 - 6ish cups flour

- mix in slowly with a fork until it’s hard to stir with the fork, then stir together with hands until it stops sticking to your skin when you rub your hands together.

- knead the dough about 10min until it starts pushing back (it gets springy)

Let the dough rest for 30min.

(I make a redneck proof box by microwaving a cup of water and quickly replacing the water with the dough bowl and shutting the door to give it a warm place to nap. Do not microwave the dough itself by reflex.)

Roll out the dough and add any flavors you like. For the miso soup bread I chopped up a couple black garlics, and a handful of green onion. Roll it up like cinnamon rolls, cut into 12, and roll each into a ball shape.

Stick in a greased 9x13 casserole dish and let the dough rise to double size. (About 40min-1hr depending on how warm your kitchen is.) (the redneck proof box won’t fit my casserole dish so I stick the rolls on top of the oven while it preheats with a dish towel over it.)

Preheat the oven to 350 and when the dough looks nice and squishy bake it for 20min.

You can brush butter on top if you want. That would look pretty and help a sprinkling of furikake stick after you pull it out of the oven. If you wanna up the miso taste you can also spread a very thin layer of miso paste in before you roll it up with the other fillings. I’m gonna try that next time.

Bake! Eat! Enjoy! Knead all your frustrations into the bread then cleanse it with fire! Lemme know how yours turn out 💕🍀✨🥖

[hazard-symbols-that-fuck-hard]

oh! the space needle is a cute mascot base for seattle’s MLB team! i wonder how they managed to communicate that in a big foam costume?

oh

oh

[stuckinapril]

I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.

[catasters]

[idratherhavefreedom]

[imsobadatnicknames2]

I am fully aware that the reason why the world map of every GTA game is depicted as an island despite the fact that they're supposed to be fictionalized counterparts of real places in the mainland US is for technical reasons, as Rockstar decided to circumvent the problem of invisible walls by simply not having any non-playable areas, and having the playable area be surrounded by water.

But I like to think this is fully diegetic and in the GTA universe the United States is just a gigantic archipelago. It's an entertaining thought.

[beardedmrbean]

[audarcy]

[verdare1]

I need to see this movie…

[kamenwriter]

[monsterhospital]

Its like this but Godzilla actually does show up

[anxietyproblem]

[fruitviking]

Reblog to give a hug, a forehead kiss, and a grilled cheese cut diagonal to the person you reblogged it from. 

[notkatniss]

On top of the Yankees field cat there was a praying mantis on top of the nationals players hat tonight. Huge night in baseball

[heinousactszx]

He was keeping the mantis updated on the number of outs, too

[pointnclick]

the mantis is making him good at baseball ratatouille style

[finnglas]

Listen, nobody on earth is as superstitious as baseball players. My man knows better than to be impolite to the good luck charm that decided to grace him with its presence.

[feminist-space]

[feminist-space]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"

the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.