[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I would never make it as a bird. The stress of keeping the eggs warm all the time would be too much for me.

[twothousandyearsindungeon]

It doesnt do birds any favors either, great tits or no.

[wordfather]

being made by vitro fertilisation (IVF) is so funny. my parent didn't have sex, my parents conducted an experiment with a scientist. my humble beginnings can be traced to a petri dish. some person i dont know clocked in to work and then just made me. i was made in a lab and i didn't even get any cool powers or anything. im just a girl that has to work 9 to 5

[wordfather]

a tag mentioned how likely it is for ivf to produce twins and it reminded me of the fact that i ate my twin in the womb. so maybe my secret power is eating people

[stealingpotatoes]

happy ides of march i 3D modelled Caesar so i could make him do fortnite dances

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[cartoonrival]

im completely addicted to Open Link in New Tab

[cartoonrival]

if Open Link in New Tab is wrong then baby i dont want to be right

[vamptits]

okay yay. I made a million mistakes but I get it now. small bird 🙂‍↕️

[vamptits]

mindset-altering sentence.

[nyanletnest]

[charlesoberonn]

[street-of-mercy]

[thinkspam]

[santapau]

Remind me later.

[lamignonette]

[kisskiss-where-is-season-two]

My ides tiramisu, if you even care

[recklesslyinfatuated2]

Oh, my word we care.

[classical-memeician]

Tirami-ceasar

[strange-aeons]

🔪

[skate-the-onion]

Congratulations Alysa on your Olympic F-bomb

[br1ghtestlight]

spent MONTHS looking for this stupid tumblr post bcuz i constantly want to reference it and it wouldn't come up no matter what i searched despite it being (what i thought) was a popular well-known tumblr post only to find that the original blog turned off reblogs and deactivated and that it only got 12k notes total. but im posting it anyway to preserve its legacy

[fuckyeahdavidandyonatan]

Its so sad there isnt a jorking it equivilent for food

[fuckyeahdavidandyonatan]

Like when youre horny but you have no one to sleep with you can just jork it. I can't do anything if I want sushi

[oddbookreport]