Sawft

Everyone's favorite soft boi.

[aqueerkettleofish]

For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."

Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.

Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.

Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.

The best part is the local city council's reaction.

And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.

[infiniteoreos]

undiagnosed autistic people will be like "I don't get upset when my routine changes though!!" and it's because they've built a set of if-then loops in their head to pick from one of 6 different strict routines and they do get incredibly upset when they're unable to keep to any of the 6 scripts. I'm john normal

[thundercrackfic]

This is called a fault tree. You will always know how to act if your fault tree captures all possible scenarios. In NASA Mission Control during mission critical events like landings there are huge binders with fault tree protocols, kind of like choose your own adventure books except you’re not the one making the choices, the universe is making them for you and you’re just trying to keep up.

The engineers who develop fault trees, I am told, often imagine new ways for their precious spacecraft to die (new branches on the fault trees) either while in the shower or lying awake at 3am, because human

[toothpaste-footlocker]

[yet-another-autistic-blog]

Was just thinking about this the other day. Yeah I have a favorite seat on the bus (middle of the bus, near the back doors, slightly elevated, facing forward), but I don’t get upset if someone is already sitting there, I just pick one of my other favorite spots. Then I realized that most people probably don’t have a favorite bus seat, let alone a series of backup favorites.

[panpteryx]

[va-nnahs]

Sometimes it feels like, although some things change others are almost set in stone, unavoidable

Some timeskip comics from this AU: 1 - 2

[prguitarman]

I’m 35 now. Also here’s the original doodle

[i-wanna-be-cute]

i feel like i just walked past jesus in a hot topic

[femmedesyeuxnoirs]

[officialpenisenvy]

in my high school a few years ahead of me there was a polyamorous girl named luna who was dating a guy and a girl and the girl was named (i swear to god this is her birth name) marea. they were named moon and tide and they were lesbian lovers. i thought it was the most romantic fated thing ever as a tiny baby queer it would make me sigh in adoration. the boyfriend's name was frank

[4whomittolz]

[aaronstveit]

watching 90s-2000s tv is crazy because it’s like wow. there used to be good writing and acting and more than 10 episodes per season and a new season every year. we really had it all.

[the-arcade-doctor]

[voice of someone at their wit's end] i think i wanna join the alcohol fandom

[tb-png]

Happy Birthday to the ONE and the ONLY Nightwing 🌒🪽

[balaclava-trismegistus]

I probably deserve more grace than I am given and I have a gun

[bgm05]

*pointing at a guy in a fursuit* He's not actually a dog. He's lying.

[moveslikekeithrichards]

working with little kids is so dangerous. you get one kid who has a unique way of speaking & then spend the rest of your life with an internal monologue like “me’s go bathroom?”

[moveslikekeithrichards]

other thrilling destructions of my vocabulary:

the kid who replaced his hard G sounds with soft ones, leaving me incapable of thinking of glasses as anything other than jlasses

kid who would holler "DID" any time she finished her work no matter how many times we told her to just raise her hand

kid who began her scary stories with "once a time" and her friend who began his with "paw time"

middle schooler i had during student teaching who pronounced magritte as "mah-gritty"

the kid who said "i got boogies comin out my nose" while sobbing and the kid who said "theres his puddle of cry" while describing a drawing, both of whom i think of when im crying

kid who said that if he was 80 he would get big and turn grandpa

kid who, for no reason in particular, would just say "like a little feet" as a standalone phrase in relation to nothing

edit how could i forget. the kid who got sneezed on and angrily said "whyd you blessyou on me"

[hollowedskin]

My niece who asks people with dogs "are him big or him little?"

And every person without fail answers "uh.. him big"

[draconym]

Years later my vocabulary is still influenced by:

kid who called snakes "nakes"

kid who called calculators "cockulators"

my little cousin who referred to anything he didn't have an immediate answer to as "vewy mystewious"

"I don't yike heem"

[c3rvida3]

Me and my cousin have an ongoing bit where we pretend we made "slightly better" versions of things where we'll be like.

"That was a pretty good movie, but not as good as my movie, House of 1001 Corpses," or "I guess this song is okay. Kind of reminds me of a song I'm working on called 'Faster Car'."

Never once has it been funny or made anyone but us laugh.

[mucmucvi]

This reminds me of a joke I have with two of my cousins

[grrwoof-woof]

"but the text never explicitly stated it!!!" hey, so that's actually what they tried to teach you in those english classes you barely passed 😁

[aliferousmetal]

[niyarest]

need you to see this banger combination of signs i saw today

[lindwurm-prince]

[vocabulary-altering-posts]

PHRASE ADDED TO INVENTORY!

[sentimentalslut]

trying to explain to tumblr that the Middle Class in not their enemy

[sentimentalslut]

saw someone say that someone complaining about only having 7k in savings makes them contemplate “doing something bad”

you know that 7k covers like. one hospital visit WITH insurance, right?

[sentimentalslut]

“people who make six figures shouldn’t be allowed to complain —“ most people who make six figures are, these days, solidly middle class. where i live, a combined household income of $110k is *lower middle class*.

“people who can afford homes —“ are typically 400-600k in debt for them. also if “can own your own home” is your threshold for the rich you are contemplating eating, i think you are genuinely stupid

“boohoo your investments dropped, stop complaining rich boy” idk how to tell you this but. most of us have a retirement account. you should probably open one

[dirt-mann]

[jethroq]

dialectics

[deadseacorpse]

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Fellas, is it counter revolutionary to eat.

[biglawbear]

This is a reminder that any insane extreme position can be couched in progressive sounding language to try and persuade you of its validity, even positions that are totally contrary

[imyourbadjew]