Beverage Machine

Kill me, if you dare.

[grimblo-the-goblin]

Why am I bad at sleeping? Why is this so hard? I woke up at like 8, I shouldn't feel this awake.

[radiofreederry]

Sounds hot

[thatgoblinjess]

[adventureo]

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

[rockergiirl]

check out my next stoner metal ep, featuring such classics as:

Marijuanification

Complete Derangement

Stoned Sex Drive

Derangement Manifests a Literal Sex Demon

Monstrum Incarnate

Narcotic Parody of Sex

[edjicatrydau-deactivated2026012]

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is

[escabye-deactivated20190922]

when ur mutuals are mutual with each other 

pro: squad con: i saw this post like 18 times today

[skingrad]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[i-am-a-fish]

"enjoy it while it lasts" (undercuts itself, needlessly doomerish, foreboding)

"enjoy it!" (straight to the point, actually encourages enjoying it)

[i-am-a-fish]

"enjoy last it'll it" (what)

[queerquests]

Framing illness as even involving morality seems to me a mistake, because of course cancer does not give a shit whether you are a good person. Biology has no moral compass.

—John Green, Everything Is Tuberculosis

[teaboot]

I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you

[teaboot]

I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products

[teaboot]

Last time Tuberculosis ran through the USA a small number of people got it on purpose to look skinny and waifish and delicate and used makeup to look flushed and bony and when the Victorians figured out tapeworms people would infect themselves on purpose to starve themselves smaller and women and now in the year of our lord 2026 there is a noticeable fraction of the USAmerican population genuinely thrilled about a treatment-resistant microbial parasite that makes you shit and vomit your brains out for a month because side effects include weight loss and STILL we talk about being skinny like it's the natural default setting for all healthy people as if it's a self-sustaining standard and not an imaginary goal that we are constantly constantly constantly beating ourselves with a whip to acheive

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @rubyroboticalt

listen i'm not responsible for whatever crap i huck at you at these temps

text: Don't ask me stupid shit in this hot ass weather

[yamada-ryo]

People who rawdog their working space like no trinkets or nothing scare me

[noelle-ism]

[beddhead-red]

[firfag]

[noelle-ism]

[greelin]

the devil went DOWN to georgia. always keep that in mind

[greelin]

we are below hell. is what i’m saying

[touhouweed]

I LOVE LEARNING AND EDUCATION

[chips1977]

Shit fuckin hurt coming out

[wildpeanutpie]

found this buried in my camera roll and it gave me a smile

[pangur-and-grim]

reading with my creatures

[pangur-and-grim]

[aorryn47]

My wife, @foldingfittedsheets: It's obscene how much salads cost. They're just leaves!

[foldingfittedsheets]

They’re just leaves!!!

[infertilityidol]

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]