Grumpy Seal Mom's Blog

This nerdy little blog is mostly about my characters. I try my darndest to keep this blog SFW. I am INFJ, asexual, pronouns are she/her or they/them. Not actually anyone's mom, but I make a point not to share my name on the Internet.

[chickennchipsahoy-blog]

“do you ONLY care about your ocs?”

no i also care about my friends’ ocs too

[aguydrawsgames]

If we’re friends you better believe I want to hear everything about your lil goblins

[grumpysealmom]

Post 10 gifs from your favorite movies without revealing their title and tag 10 people.

@ailinu tagged me for this! Almost nobody tags me in things (which is not inherently bad nor a request to be tagged frantically whenever possible), so this is kind of a surprise... 

[starlitmemes]

Send a symbol and I’ll describe or draw the following:

▲ my muse as a child ◄ my muse as a teenager ► my muse as a young adult ▼my muse in their middle ages ▼+ my muse in their old age

*if to a multi-muse blog, specify the muse!

[whyequalsemexplusbee]

Dungeons and Dragons, but your character must be a self insert, and class is determined by your current abilities Barbarian Must have a demonstrable temper, go off I guess  Bard Must be able to play an instrument Cleric Must be involved in a religious organization Druid Must have demonstrable knowledge of, or passion for nature  Fighter Must beat the DM in physical combat (hope your DM’s a wimp)  Monk Must practice a martial art  Paladin Must have a cause that one actively supports  Ranger Must be able to fire a kind of ranged weapon accurately  Rogue Must sneak up on the DM (Hard mode: steal their dice)  Sorcerer Must have a powerful family heirloom  Warlock Must work for a powerful entity (Corporations, The Government)  Wizard Must have a College Degree or a 3.0 GPA  If you can’t be any of these you start as a commoner, and may become one of these classes when you finally satisfy these conditions.

[beaft]

i dont want to look “pretty” i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening

[cityelf]

I invite my closest friends and family to a gender reveal party, but when I open the box with maniacal flourish instead of pink or blue balloons, a television screen is revealed.

I dim the lights remotely as we hear Cate Blanchett say, “The world is changed. I feel it in the water.”

Too late, they realise.

The pregnancy? A scam.

The Lord of the Rings editions? Extended.

The doors? Locked.

[septemberequinox]

Asexual Ask Game

Because I saw many varieties, but none for ace spectrum!!!

1. Kisses asexual or hugs asexual 2. Movie marathon asexual or video game tourney asexual 3. Hair playing asexual or back rubs asexual 4. Cafe asexual or bookstore asexual 5. Pyjamas asexual or t-shirt and shorts asexual 6. Blanket fort asexual or bubble bath asexual 7. Breakfast asexual or dessert asexual 8. Hand holding asexual or piggy back asexual 9. Winter asexual or summer asexual 10. Kinetic sand asexual or slime asexual 11. Cooking asexual or housework asexual 12. Sunrise asexual or sunset asexual 13. “Cake is better than sex” asexual or “please stop with that quote…” asexual 14. Napping date asexual or club date asexual 15. Hot tea asexual or iced tea asexual 16. Romantic asexual or aromantic asexual 17. Adopt children asexual or adopt animals asexual 18. Candles asexual or lava lamp asexual 19. Introverted asexual or extroverted asexual 20. Lavender asexual or chamomile asexual

[jejwjwjwehehehebehsjsbwhajdnr-d]

Boy: *hands me diamond ring* will you marry me Me: *puts diamond ring on* na

[grumpysealmom]

I notice now that I seem to be doing things to take back parts of my life (or various things) that I wasn’t able to enjoy because terrible people took them away from me. 

There will still be things I can’t eat, sing, watch, read, or do.

All the things I enjoyed before, however, I will not allow to be spoiled just because someone had enough cruelty in them to try to taint what I like. 

[grumpysealmom]

Me last week: I want to learn to sing more songs for my chaotic good tiefling party girl priestess, but I only have a bunch of boisterous drinking tunes to suit the person she pretends to be. 

Me this week: I don’t know if there’s a reason why some are blessed, some not / why the few you seem to favor / fear us, flee us / try not to see us / GOOOOD HELP THE OUTCAAAAAASTS, THE TATTERED, THE TOOOOOOORN

[grumpysealmom]

The feeling...

... when you finally pull all the ribbon out that you used for hair taping the other day, and now when you undo your braids you have hair straight out of a Pre-Raphaelite painting and you feel like a Forlorn Noblewoman Contemplating the Ephemeral Nature of Life, Feelings, and Beauty.

[too-witches-to-come-sorry-deact]

Someone once said to me, “I hope the pain eases soon.” It struck me as the purest blessing that had ever been offered over my head - I hope the pain eases soon. It’s so gentle, so kind, so hopeful. So to everyone who’s hurting: I see how hard you’re trying, and I hope your pain will ease soon.

[enbyleighlines]

Reblog and Tag with your ocs' Names

<b>And then for every name you get in your askbox, you must fill out the following character profile for said oc:</b>

Full Name: Gender and Sexuality: Pronouns: Ethnicity/Species: Birthplace and Birthdate: Guilty Pleasures: Phobias: What They Would Be Famous For: What They Would Get Arrested For: OC You Ship Them With: OC Most Likely To Murder Them: Favorite Movie/Book Genre: Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: Talents and/or Powers: Why Someone Might Love Them: Why Someone Might Hate Them: How They Change: Why You Love Them:

don’t ever feel bad for asking me to tag a trigger

i do not care what the trigger is

i will tag it for you

you have legitimate reasons to be triggered by it

and i am not one to question those reasons

so just send me an ask

anonymous if you’re scared

and i will tag it all the time in future

your wellbeing is worth twenty extra seconds of my time at least

[fbi-captain-rainy]

don’t ever feel bad if i dont remember to tag it

i might be on mobile

i might be dumb

i might have forgotten

just send me an ask

anon if you’re scared

i’ll correct it

your wellbeing is worth twenty extra seconds of my time at least

[corvigae]

when you’re playing dnd and you character keeps rolling crit fails

[altearia]

[eroscestlavie]

loki doesn’t have gender reveal parties he has species reveal parties 

[eroscestlavie]

he tears open a box of balloons and the great hall of asgard erupts into screams of chaos like “WHY ARE THEY SHAPED…LIKE HORSES?” “WHERE DID HE EVEN GET HORSE SHAPED BALLOONS?” “WE ALL HATE THIS VERY MUCH!”

[eroscestlavie]

anyways happy mother’s day!