Not Lost

Eldritch Honeybee | they/them | worth knowing that this is where I put posts of media I enjoy, and it’s never that serious | my main is @sunnycryptid

[grynwood]

Your honor, I love them, they're so horrible

[nepenthean-sleep]

first few months of alectopause: damn can't wait until atn comes out

2023 alectopause: you know it's ok we can wait. i got some fics to write

2024 alectopause: here is 30,000 words on how john's characterization as emperor and lyctorhood interplays with colonialism, imperialism, sexual assault, and misogyny, featuring a full bibliography, a reading list, and peer reviewed by three mutuals

2025 alectopause: gideon would not fucking say that

2026 alectopause: what is everyone's blood pressure headcanons for the characters. i think harrow is orthostatic and gets a regular 90/50

[lastflowerofyourhouse]

pyrrha dve: look, kid. look at me. i know you're kinda reeling right now but before we're swallowed by cthulu i need you to understand that i did fuck your mother. yes i know you just met your father for the first time and hes god or whatever, but so you know you've always been a daughter to me, especially that one time when i killed your mom and also maybe you. it's ok she understood why i did it. all that said i think we should kill ourselves right now. what do you mean you don't want to kill yourself? your mother would have killed herself with me.

[faildyke]

Thinking really hard about Ianthe. She convinced her one-sided lesbian situationship to give her a new arm after she got dismembered by a saint. She and her twin sister love to dip their toes into incest sometimes but not in ways you’d expect. She also uses her magic to make herself look sickly so her sister can breast boobily. She and Jesus might be fucking but neither of them probably enjoys it. She voluntarily wore a maid dress in a game show inside her own mind. I hate her. She’s awesome. What is wrong with her.

[stealingpotatoes]

reason 1 million why i love zukka: how extra insane it makes hakoda's family tree

(links // tip jar!)

[morphmaker]

the silmarillion bride

[ninoacca]

december: finish nona january-april: very intentionally Not think about it lest I break irreparably forever now: being soooo brave about it

[animentality]

[purplelilies]

"that’s not actually Crown’s boyfriend, Nona, it’s her sister, but I don’t think anyone could blame you for getting confused" is a wild line and it's describes their whole t h i n g with terrifying accuracy but the best part is how everything becomes even worse after

[tajrishgp]

[nonasbirthday]

I'd like to say that I have nothing in common with the character of John Gaius, Douchebag Undying, but the truth is that I too am incapable of letting a stupid meme die, and am compelled to reference it even when I know the person I'm talking to has no idea what I'm referencing

[nonasbirthday]

Other people have already said this better, but refusing to let a dumb joke die IS very on-brand for a character who is obsessed with freezing time, with preservation and stasis, and with refusing to let things change, grow, rot, and die

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[anthraxofeffervescence]

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

[bloodyraven1001]

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

[ariaste]

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

[crazy-pages]

The aircraft are all under the command of the Australian government, which has declared that the nuclear arsenals are not their problem and that no aircraft will help anyone out with that problem. Your grandfather did fly with the bracelet one time, but he only got away with that because no one involved knew what the bracelet was and it would have been a huge deal if anyone had realized what was up. If you charter a flight towards the world's only hydraulic press, the Australians will know and throw lightning at the plane.

[kandoros]

You can't fly to Arizona because the FBI has a massive radar installation located right next to the hydraulic press, and part way through the story Seal Team Six gets upgraded to also being fighter pilots.

[captorations]

it's also really funny that despite being jesus, gideon doesn't know what a jesus is. she knows she's god's kid, conceived in perhaps the dumbest and most convoluted way possible, but has absolutely zero context for what exactly that means for her. neither does anyone else. except god. john "god" gaius is out there like "ah fuck i have a jesus now what the hell am i supposed to do with her" and even if he has in fact said that out loud while drunk, nobody would have any idea what he's talking about. he's like. pretty sure he's supposed to resurrect her so he does that (sort of). and he's sicced her on a bunch of devils/damned souls that he previously stuck in hell because he's also pretty sure that jesus is supposed to clean up hell. but so far step three has eluded him and at this point his whole necromantic space catholicism bit is just getting out of hand and he doesn't know what to do

[evtrained]

"Chilchuck would hate Frodo" bullshit, Chilchuck would be super fucking intensely protective of Frodo Baggins.

The ring you got for your inheritance turned out to be CURSED? And you VOLUNTEERED to WALK HUNDREDS of MILES to destroy it!? And when you got stabbed by a monster blade, the ELVES TOOK YOU AWAY FOR MONTHS and you THANKED THEM!?

No. No, I'm your father now, kid. You're joining a union, I'm negotiating your back pay for that trip. And your ongoing medical treatment, and I'm getting you EXTRA for mental anguish. Oh, the elves are offering to take you to some mysterious continent off in the West as recompense? Let's find out how many of these obscure cuss words they can decipher.

[holmsister]

I agree with this post but also I have just been hit with the startling realisation that Chilchuck is who the dwarves thought they were hiring when they went to pick up Bilbo and now I desperately want to read *that* version of The Hobbit

[empyreanwilliwaw]

Honestly I think Chilchuck would be extra horrified, in Dungeon Meshi elves actually do disappear halflings that come into contact with magical items or display magical abilities (at least that’s what he tells Marcille when she tries to get him to learn magic)

[theunwantedguestproject]

READ NOW ON NEOCITIES

This was an incredible undertaking of adapting the entire Unwanted Guest script over the course of roughly 9 months. I am so proud of the work everyone turned in. You can read the entire comic in full right now at the link above, along with the full list of contributors!

This blog will reblog the full res pages from each contributor over the next couples of days, so get excited for that! We also have something very special cooking up with the people over at @entombed-theatrics so look forward to that as well. Thank you so much for reading!

Incredible cover art by @allofthenorth !!

[jillothewisp]

my page from @theunwantedguestproject, now that it's live! you should go read it 😗

[moonmargaritas]

I KNOW HOW THE DEVILS GOT TO THE NINTH

Y’all know that theory that devils are souls that have been used to fuel a resurrection? John saying Harrow’s parents committed a resurrection, Cytherea calling herself the vengeance of the ten billion, Teacher saying there are ten billion angry ghosts in the facility.

The devils attacking the Ninth are not the ten billion. They’re the two hundred. The children whose souls Priamhark and Pelleamena used to fuel Harrow's conception.

Now, you may have noticed Harrow’s parents committed their resurrection nineteen years ago, and as of yet nobody in the Ninth House has sprouted long black tongues and eyelids with teeth. So why now?

In Harrow the Ninth, as Varun approaches the Mithraeum, the River empties of ghosts. Augustine says that ghosts flee before a Resurrection Beast. “Poor bastards are terrified.” And the Ninth House has a Resurrection Beast in the basement.

But then she leaves.

Alecto leaves the Tomb, leaves her body behind, and rides her connection to Harrow into Harrow’s body. And now there’s no slumbering planetary revenant to ward off the devils, so back they come. The very next time some Ninth geezer keels over, the devils take the wheel and it begins.

The devils didn’t come to the Ninth. They were already there. They were born there, and they died there. Priamhark and Pelleamena slaughtered two hundred children to save their House, and in so doing damned it.