[sweetiepie08]

How to get ready in the morning

Step 1: Stay in bed as long as you possibly can. 

Step 2: Speed run. 

[vorchagirl]

I feel called out.

[digitalfaerie]

if you roll off the bottom of your bed at just the right angle you can clip through the floor straight into the shower saving precious time

[mollmaeve]

if you ever feel left out just remember that you weren’t the fifth gryffindor guy in the marauders’ dormitory

[sonnetscrewdriver]

I don’t know if the timeline works even a little bit but my headcanon was always that that fifth dude was Kingsley Shacklebolt and that he immediately made a conscious decision to stay the hell away from whatever those four idiots were up to and everyone was like “Yeah, good kid, studies hard, probably gonna be Minister one day if he manages to last his entire school career without committing four murders”.

[gay-jesus-probably]

Kingley Shacklebolt is probably the best roommate ever. The reason he never gets mentioned as the fifth is because he doesn’t ask questions. The other five start disappearing all night every full moon during fifth year? He doesn’t care and doesn’t want to know. Walked in to find Sirius talking to a fucking deer in the dorm like it was James? Just keep moving and don’t make eye contact. James, Sirius and Peter leaving shit all over the floor? Combine forces with Remus to politely yet firmly remind them that we’re not living in a goddamn barn and your dirty underwear shouldn’t spend three weeks straight on the floor James.

Kingsley was, naturally, invited to the Potter-Evans wedding. The invitation was accompanied with a formal apology for the Everything, signed by the Marauders. Enclosed was a little trophy, with the plaque reading ‘best roomie ever’

It may or may not permanently live on his mantle. Kingsley Shacklebolt does not inform Harry Potter of any of this. He has enough people that knew his parents, Kingsley’s not going to make it weird. Keep moving and don’t make eye contact. Besides, he already gave copies of all his pictures of them to Hagrid to go into a photo album for Harry back in first year.

[childhoodruiner]

[weather-peen]

never trust a person who talk to their pets in their normal voice

[mpregalecki]

NOT TRUE before my nephew leaves my home he always looks my dog straight in the eye and says “Delilah. You are a wonderful woman. Have a good day.”

[unlimited-memes]

Ben’s restroom

[extra-caffeinated]

Only Bens allowed

[babyanimalgifs]

[unichrome]

Beds are so warm and soft when the rest of the world is not

[lamaenthel]

shoutout to paris hilton for not abandoning her ‘micropig’ 

when it turned out that it was a normal piggy who grew up to be a big fat fatty piggu

[chupicronian]

Actually that’s pretty standard size for a micro pig. Pigs are ENORMOUS, dude. The average pig on a farm is 7 feet long and over 700 lbs. A normal pig would be much bigger than Hilton.

EDIT: This is a photo of the world’s smallest recognized breed of pig, the kune kune. I’m sorry cartoons lied to you all.

This is the pot bellied pig, another famous “small” breed.

This is your average adult pig.

[catbountry]

Big ole’ pigs.

[louisville-redcoat]

Reblogging because I feel so misinformed about pigs right now. My life is a lie.

[scootsenshi]

Bigs

[the-smoldering-illyrian-beauty]

Now you see how they could eat a whole human. Thanks to the Mafia, this brilliant idea was given.

[jacks4eva]

if aelin ashryver galanthius or rowan whitethorn dies i will riot

Reblog if you agree

[scenicroutes]

[singing alone in shower] my name is marius pontmercy [raises voice seventeen octaves] and mine’s cosette

[feliicityrampant]

most fans: please creators tell us more canon information please

harry potter fans: we will pay you to Stop.

[feministd1rection]

Gender roles in a nutshell: the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang entrances in The Goblet of Fire.

[meloromantics]

also, to my knowledge neither of those schools were sex-segregated in the books

[seaniepop]

That bothered me more than the Dumbledore yelling, actually.

[forgiveninasong]

Nicolas Flamel was an alum of Beauxbatons.

The first headteacher of Durmstrang was a witch.

[hecallsmepineappleprincess]

Bam.

[roseforthethorns]

In the books, it even says that there were boys and girls from each school. Thanks Hollywood for making Durmstrang buff and all athletic men and Beauxbatons all feminine and dainty.

[zirijava]

Just imagine what it would have meant for every kid watching, seeing girls walking beside the guys in Durmstrang being “manly” and boys walking with Beuxbaton being flirty and feminine.

It would have shown that girls and boys can be however they want.

[drarrysgirl]

It also suggested that the only way a female could have be selected to participate was if she was not up against any male competition. In the books Fleur is chosen as the best candidate for her school from a selection of female AND male students. And she was the best PERSON. Not the best GIRL.

[imaginedus-deactivated20180401]

all men are Russian and all Women are French.

[novaya-model]

Select your gender: 🔳 Russian 🔳 French

[harryandhislittledragon]

ah yes my gender is French and my pronouns are oui/baguette please respect that merci beaucoup

[mamoru]

[bitsow]

4800 players, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony Speedrun

[kaijuno]

its not even music anymore it’s just a shockwave that kills you instantly

[mikrokosmos]

Reblog if you want to be annihilated by the physics-defying supersonic Beethovenian explosion

[dustrial-inc]

“Destroy me, This way.”

[lenarise-deactivated20191107]

by the way the funniest thing ive read all week is this post on reddit i think where somebody asked for the pros and cons of different stem majors and so this one girl responded and she said she was a software engineer i believe and then she said “ok pro #1. i never have to wait in line for the bathroom ever again. there are more female restrooms in this building than there are women”

[codewitch]

pro #2: growing up i was surrounded by so many saras. just. saras everywhere. which sara do you want? but now, as a software engineer, I am the only sara. the eleven marks weep in jealousy. 

[lenarise-deactivated20191107]

the marks smdjdjdjdjd YEAH when i took my first compsci class the lab section had twice as many nicks than there were women

[geardrops]

someone was complaining to me about how there are too many ryans on the team, and i said “you wanna know how to fix that? hire more women” and the only other woman sitting nearby spat out her coffee

[peachdoxie]

The Society of Women In Physics at my university had a whole campaign with the tagline “More Daves than Women” which was factually true in the physics department

[yourfluffiestnightmare]

In CoS when they try to sneak into Myrtle’s bathroom to ask her about her death, McGonagall catches them and Harry makes up the excuse that they wanted to see Hermione in the hospital wing and Minnie doesn’t give them detention and then comes this and since we all know Harry’s dumbest excuse, here’s the official suggestion to rate all of Harry’s excuses on a scale from

to

[rebelmeg]

Harry Potter oscillates from 100% effort to coasting on a wave of apathy.

[justbadpuns]

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

[doggosource]

11/10 a good doggo posing for his hooman’s insta 

[baconpolice]

Yall forgot the final product.