dahlias and cherry trees

over thirty. still figuring things out. all nsfw is tagged.

[just-shower-thoughts]

Don’t let the hurt child make your adult decisions.

[grooveland]

[cricketcat9]

💖💖💖👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

This atheist approves

[memewhore]

[tearsovercaprisuns-deactivated2]

how is the kentucky derby not trending on here?? the horse with the lowest odds wins and immediately starts biting everything in its sight, that sounds like a tumblr legend to me

[sneakyspades]

oh my fucking god

[phantom-cosmos]

This horse wasn’t even supposed to be in the race. Horse number 20 (can’t remember it’s name) dropped out the day before for whatever reason, and Rich Strike was just barely able to sneak a spot into the derby before the deadline. Not to mention that this was just some garbage $30,000 horse that didn’t have any kind of impressive breeding (yes I am aware $30k is still a lot, but for a Kentucky Derby horse, that’s chump change). He was the second biggest upset in the history of the Derby, with one other horse (Donerail) winning with 91-1 odds before in 1913 (Which, for reference, I’m pretty sure Donerail with his 91-1 odds still holds the record for the worst odds in the history of the race. Just for context of how shit Rich Strike’s 80-1 odds were. Not THE worst, but definitely up there).

I am in love with this shit horse who wasn’t even supposed to be there, had some of the worst odds in the history of the race, and had the worst starting position who completely destroyed all of the favorites to win. Watching him come up to first right at the last second was THRILLING.

[jackhawksmoor]

This story is fucking hilarious

So Rich Strike has barely won a race, but he ALWAYS shoots up in the last stretch. He goes from 11th to 4th, from 8th to 3rd. Rich Strike hits the final corner and suddenly gets flashbacks to his previous life as a Klingon warrior. He starts snarling curses and heads for the finish line like it insulted his ancestors and must PAY, that's just how he runs races

And this was a record-setting time for the Kentucky Derby- the fastest race EVER. It was incredible. Which means the lead horses, the favorites, were sprinting as hard as they could the entire race. By the time they got to the end they were exhausted

And here comes Rich Strike, turns the last corner and his vision goes red. The lead horses can't pick up the final sprint like usual- they already ARE going flat out. Rich Strike comes up on the inside, NOT exhausted by fighting for the lead spot, howling "DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR" like the complete fucking lunatic he is and just blows past everyone

He's ready to kill. He wants to tear into some Romulans and destroy the Federation, and he wins everything

Then the guy on horseback whose job it is to help slow the running horses down after they cross the finish line comes up and Rich Strike LOSES HIS SHIT

He bites the other horse, he bites the rider, he bites himself. He's like "oh you think you can slow ME down?! I'LL KILL YOU. QAPLA!"

He's completely insane and I love him

[teaboot]

Oh the McElroys are gonna love this one

[marv-el-spot]

WATCHED IN 2021 PUSH (2009) Dir. Paul McGuigan.

[allthingseurope]

Prague (by jerome delaunay)

[fursecuted]

[color-blinder]

I’m terrified of what the original image might be

[trashboat]

that comment made me realize how lucky some people can be. going your whole life ignorant of the zootopia abortion comic

[majesticalbeard]

The WHAT

[powerbottombrucespringsteen]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Kinda weird that there isn’t just free drinking water everywhere.

[frownyalfred]

The girl next to me on the treadmill at the gym is reading ao3 like I wouldn’t recognize that font twenty miles away and half blind

[frownyalfred]

“girl what were YOU doing at the devil’s sacrament” bitch I was also reading ao3! On the treadmill! That’s why I was so shocked!

[unbotheredmuse]

[allthingseurope]

Frankfurt am Main, Germany (by Harri Schulz)

[francesderwent]

reblog this and tag with a food you no longer have access to (closed restaurant, state you moved away from, ex’s mom’s cooking, etc) that will haunt you until your dying day, mine are the spicy chicken sandwich on the employee menu at the fine dining restaurant I was a prep cook at, and the onion bagel from the kosher place down the street from my house when I lived in the city

[rickety-goose]

i'm moving soon, and it got me curious. If you wanna say, how old are you and how many times have you moved so far in your life?

bc i'm 29 and i'm about to move for the 14th time 🥴

[sreegs]

[ezraroach]

There’s only two genres of dogs in medieval paintings and they look like this

[letmebegaytodd]

Thought exercise. You are me, you are hungry, you want to make my world famous pancake recipe. This recipe needs four eggs. You have three eggs. Do you:

a) go to the store. yes you have a cold, but you could be in and out fast. then again you could run into someone you know. embarrassing.

b) go across the street to your grandparent's house and ask to borrow an egg. you may or may not get a lecture about not being at church. is it worth it.

c) use two of the raw eggs and two hard-boiled eggs. surely this will work out fine

if you picked c, congratulations, you correctly picked my thought process. i have committed an affront to god and my tummy hurts so badly

[letmebegaytodd]

actually oddly enough the pancakes tasted fine, despite all of the bits of whole egg falling out of them, which is where the affront to god kicks in

[letmebegaytodd]

anyway if this ever happens again i'm just gonna go to the store. experiment failed, we'll get 'em next time

[letmebegaytodd]

i didn't....i didn't even think to do that

[letmebegaytodd]

[letmebegaytodd]

I could've...used other ingredients......?

[letmebegaytodd]

actually you know what in fairness to me i've been on a lot of cold medicine this week while battling a virus. from now on i'm only making sandwiches

[letmebegaytodd]

i'm no longer on ungodly amounts of cold medicine! i wish i could tell you i have no memory of making this post, and by extension the pancakes, but unfortunately i do!

[letmebegaytodd]

The Three Egg Solution Comment Alignment Chart:

[ao3org]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

We’re pleased to announce that, in the coming days, we’ll be rolling out the first part of our blocking and muting features: the ability to block specific logged-in users from commenting on your works and replying to your comments.

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[ao3commentoftheday]

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. AO3 JUST ANNOUNCED BLOCKING.

[ao3commentoftheday]

I already pointed this out in the replies, but I’m going to reblog as well: if you are getting hate from anon users, you can turn off guest comments on your work.

Right above the big box where you type or paste the text of your chapter, there are privacy settings. One of them is for who can comment on your work. The default setting is anyone. If you change that to “only registered users can comment” then anons won’t be able to.

[ultimate-muscle]

This - along with Tumblr’s announced ability to turn off reblogs on a post - is an absolute godsend to people harassed or abused online by others. It’s a great relief to know that such abilities to better defend oneself are being put in place!