Aynon || Active Feb '23

Please do not report 21 || They/Them || 5'7 CW: 46.3kg, SW: 55kg GW1: 50kg✔, GW2: 47kg✔, GW3: 45 & UGW: 40kg Trying my best but alittle depressed

[happymealwithoutthehappy]

Welcome!

BEFORE YOU CONTINUE!

NOT pro ana/Mia or SH simply just creating a safe place for me. If you are struggling please reach out my DMs are always open ♡

My names Aynon;

- 21 y/o, They/Them

- Used to be; Diaryofacountingkid, before it was deleted in January 2021 :(

- SW: 55kgs, CW: 46.3kgs & UGW: 40kgs

C-PTSD, hereditary depression, anxiety, insomia, borderline personality disorder, FND, dissociative disorder

Continue at your own risk

[everybody-wants-me-dead]

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Surprisingly I look pretty good atm

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Seriously 2023 has been that shit of a year.

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Sketch

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Hope this makes you laugh

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So I hadn't eaten for about 15 hours, had some vape and ran to bathroom trying to vomit up nothing and feeling nauseous for about 5 minutes before feeling absolutely fine now.

I don't know what happened but it was so embarrassing as I threw up in my co-workers house 💀

I think she knew something was up because she offered me a slice of banana bread which I took obviously cause I had a 7 hour straight shift

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Massive fucking rant yeah. Okay so my partner and I both have insomia and I have STRESSED TO THEM I need to have a sleep schedule. I was really good for a while until undoubtedly they fucked it up. They have lost TWO SALARY jobs in a span of a MONTH because they would be up all night and sleep in past their shift. They have just landed themselves another salary Job (very proud of my bby but STILL) they haven't done anything to fix their sleep schedule and yet they start work NEXT Wednesday. I want to str@ngle the mofo to sleep so bad.

It's fucking 3am right now I've been begging them to turn off the light, turn down their volume on the phone etc etc istg RAGEEEEEE

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Me living off miso soup

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Not quite exactly what I want to see, I need to be slimmer ffs

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I just wonder? What is that makes you want to be slim? I just know that makes me feel good, better about myself. When I see my rip cage against my skin or bones in my wrist to me it looks beautiful, poetic even.

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Theres a tiny issue about where I'm living, I do not have weight scales so I have no clue how much I weigh but I'm sure it's around 50kgs (111 pounds) goal is 45kg which I hope I can get soon!

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I deadass got high for the first time in my life last night with my partner and they made quadruple stack toastie sandwiches and we basically had the best 53X of our lives and I (trigger warning) woke up with SH, meaning even when I'm high I hate myself

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I have this mate that jokingly tells me (and other friends we share) to k1ll themselves, only how little does he know everyday I'm struggling and at my wits end.

Him: haha k1ll yourself

My brain: yeah do it, k1ll yourself

Me:

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*SH TRIGGER WARNING!

So my partner found out I still sh and has been very sweet but stern to me about it. They've been supportive and there for me when I've needed it but has told me that if I do it again they will tell my mum. They've asked for my blades and reluctantly I gave it to them. I haven't sh in about 5 days but I broke that today sitting alone on their balcony finding and old beer can and taking off that silver can opener thingy off the top. Getting some scissors and cutting it into shape and started using it to cvt my thighs. Surprisingly it works really well. Only getting styro cvts which doesn't bother me I still get relief and means less mess. It's been about 4 hours since i cvt and they haven't noticed yet so for now I'm in the clear.

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Anime; Wonder Egg Priority