The Superfamily:
Meanwhile Connor:
This was so funny at *checks clock* FIVE AM??!??
One Nice Bug Per Day
Three Goblin Art
trying on a metaphor
cherry valley forever

pixel skylines
almost home
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
occasionally subtle
we're not kids anymore.

if i look back, i am lost
hello vonnie
🪼

@theartofmadeline
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Today's Document

No title available
wallacepolsom

izzy's playlists!
tumblr dot com
d e v o n
seen from Netherlands
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye

seen from United States

seen from Maldives

seen from Thailand

seen from China
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia

seen from Germany
seen from Nigeria
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@harleymeme-quinn
The Superfamily:
Meanwhile Connor:
This was so funny at *checks clock* FIVE AM??!??
Bruce Wayne except he texts like an ominous boomer
wdym you can't tell if he's threatening them?
Based on this post by @mysterycitrus :)
<- Prev Masterlist Next ->
Bonus:
Happy birthday, Tim 🥰
Clark Kent finally goes to get therapy but the only person who knows both of his identities AND is in any way actually qualified is Harley Quinn
They're staring each other down in some bland ass room painted a soothing blue like
Clark: ... This HAS to be some sort of conflict of interest
Harley: aww not to worry Supes I'm totally profresh
Clark: that's not actually that reassuring
Clark starting to try and open up even though that usually requires an emotional crowbar: it's just... isolating, sometimes. There's not really any one person that is in the same position as me and it's... Hard
Harley: well that's why we have emotional support networks rather than just one person! I know I'm your position it's especially hard to build that up, but you've done a rather impressive job so far. I mean, you break it down, and Lolo may be your wife, but she's not gonna know everything you go through, nor should she have to. She understands your workplace stresses, the justice league is there for hero stuff, Diana gets being powerful enough to scare people, Kara and J'onn are both in the last survivors boat, and when it comes to the complications of balancing identities, Brucie will be there. The best part of all this is that you also don't have to be everything to any one person, which is something you seem ta struggle with.
Clark: oh. You're... good at this?
Harley: I fuckin told ya I was
AI Scraping Isn't Just Art And Fanfic
Something I haven't really seen mentioned and I think people may want to bear in mind is that while artists are the most heavily impacted by AI visual medium scraping, it's not like the machine knows or cares to differentiate between original art and a photograph of your child.
AI visual media scrapers take everything, and that includes screengrabs, photographs, and memes. Selfies, pictures of your pets and children, pictures of your home, screengrabs of images posted to other sites -- all of the comic book imagery I've posted that I screengrabbed from digital comics, images of tweets (including the icons of peoples' faces in those tweets) and instas and screengrabs from tiktoks. I've posted x-ray images of my teeth. All of that will go into the machine.
That's why, at least I think, Midjourney wants Tumblr -- after Instagram we are potentially the most image-heavy social media site, and like Instagram we tag our content, which is metadata that the scraper can use.
So even if you aren't an artist, unless you want to Glaze every image of any kind that you post, you probably want to opt out of being scraped. I'm gonna go ahead and say we've probably already been scraped anyway, so I don't think there's a ton of point in taking down your tumblr or locking down specific images, but I mean...especially if it's stuff like pictures of children or say, a fundraising photo that involves your medical data, it maybe can't hurt.
If you do want to officially opt out, which may help if there's a class-action lawsuit later, you're going to want to go to the gear in the upper-right corner on the Tumblr desktop site, select each of your blogs from the list on the right-hand side, and scroll down to "Visibility". Select "Prevent third party sharing for [username]" to flip that bad boy on.
(If someone wants to post a link in notes to instructions for doing it on the app, I haven't updated mine so the option doesn't appear and I don't know where to find it.)
Wally: How old is Alfred?
Dick: Whoa, you can’t just ask things like that, man.
Wally: Oh, sorry. I just, he seems kinda old, you know?
Dick: I’m pretty sure he’s immortal.
Wally:
Wally: Yeah, that checks out.
Roy: Didn’t he fight in a war or something?
Dick: Yeah, I think he fought in the Battle of Hastings.
A little ways over
Bruce: So, are you going to correct them?
Alfred: You have yet to determine my age, Master Bruce, and if you think I will succumb to such measly attempts as this you are sorely mistaken.
Alfred accidentally drank from the Lazarus pit in WWI and has been bouncing around the globe ever since. He and Ra's have a petty argument that's been going on for more than a century at this point.
Yeah, HC accepted
Personally, I think Alfred is a mythical entity of some kind, like the fae. He probably came across Thomas and Martha and was like, 'oh how cute. Such precious mortals. I love them. I'm going to care for them; they're mine now' . It intensified with Bruce and now he's stuck, somewhat happily I think.
His name literally means "elvish counsel".
He still has petty arguments with Ra's though.
Also accepted.
And now we know where Bruce got it from
I feel like the manor was built ontop of Alfred’s territory and he made an agreement with the Wayne’s that he would let them keep the manor there and even take care of it and put it under his protection and make it a part of his territory in exchange for money.
And then he grew fond of the humans and has a similar relationship with them as most fae have with shiny things. He absolutely loves them and he’s always the first one who realizes that Bruce has adopted another child.
(Sorry if my English isn’t very good/hard to read, English is my third language and I don’t really know how commas work lol)
I hate Bruce's "I don't kill because once I start, I wouldn't be able to stop"
Like I simply do not buy it. Murder is not a potato chip Bruce. I think he is full of shit and a messy bitch who lives for the drama. I am certain Bruce has some kind of valid reason for not killing, but I don't believe that this is it.
No no let’s dig into this. And let’s not go into the obvious of, “murders bad” or “he’d feel guilty” like let’s try to find another reason to why this bitch man doesn’t kill anyone, including his son’s murderer
So there are generally around 5-6 "big reasons" traditionally given for why Bruce doesn't kill his villains, many of which have been explored in comics and others of which have been discussed and debated ad nauseum around the internet. Here's the four I tend to find most compelling:
Bruce's moral code that prohibits killing is ultimately what separates him from those he fights against. He follows a very strict deontological viewpoint of "killing is wrong, regardless of intentions or consequences." Jason, by contrast, has a "ends justify the means" consequentialist mentality of "if you kill a criminal, you prevent more crime, so the killing is justified." The ethical dilemma surrounding this issue is that who are you, random quasi-legal vigilante on a self-imposed quest to end crime, to decide when you are or aren't preventing "more killing/crime" by killing a criminal? What makes Bruce qualified to determine who should get to live and die? He doesn't think he is, so he's simply said "I don't have that right. I'll instead work to save everyone, regardless of who they are/what they've done (to me or anyone else)."
Bruce's "if I start killing, I don't think I'd be able to stop" is less "murder is a potato chip" and more about the rationalization it would take to take that first step off the edge. Essentially, if he kills Joker, why not kill Two-Face? What makes killing Joker fundamentally different from killing Two-Face? From killing Penguin? From killing Harley, Ivy, Killer Croc, etc? Why is killing the Joker okay but killing say....Victor Zzasz isn't? When does a villain commit enough illegal and morally reprehensible acts that extrajudicial murder is an acceptable solution?
Part of the point and purpose of Bruce being Batman in addition to Bruce Wayne, CEO of Wayne Enterprises, is the flexibility he has in pursuing justice, rehabilitation, and re-education. The entire point of Batman is preventing the Wayne Family Tragedy™ from happening to anyone else. Bruce's entire mission in life is creating a world where "no more children lose their parents to some punk with a gun." Batman is supposed to prevent more children from becoming orphans, more wives from becoming widows, more husbands from becoming widowers, more parents from losing their children. What does killing do except perpetuate that cycle of violence and undermine his core mission?
How is Batman any different from the cops if he kills? Batman can't be a figure to inspire reform in the criminal justice system (and specifically the GCPD) if he kills, because how does that make Batman any better than the corrupt system he claims to want to make better? Batman killing doesn't inspire hope that there is a better way; it would just be an extension of how Gotham's "justice system" works anyway. By refusing to cross that line Batman as a symbol encourages Gotham to be better than they are.
As an expansion of #2, you could very reasonably make the point that "but it's the Joker! He's different!" But is he? Is he really? He's certainly done more permanent personal harm to the Batfamily than most other villains (Babs and Jason specifically), but what about Two-Face smashing Dick to pieces with a baseball bat in Robin: Year One? What about Black Mask torturing Steph to death during War Games? What about Shiva killing Cass in Batgirl (even if she brought her back)? What about Ra's nearly killing Tim in Red Robin? What about Talia murdering Damian by proxy (via Heretic) in Batman Inc.? What about Bane murdering Alfred in City of Bane? Where's the line?
Bruce has seen 3-4 people he's either legally or nominally responsible for die on his watch, another 3 tortured to near-death conditions on multiple occasions, 1 permanently injured, and had a villain murder the man who raised him and leave his body for Bruce to find, and yet the only thing anyone really ever talks about re: Bruce killing is Jason and the Joker. If the line is torturing one of his kids (or those flying under his banner) half to death, by all rights he should have killed Two-Face and Black Mask for what they did to Dick and Steph. If it's killing a 'family' member, he should have killed Joker, Black Mask, Bane, and Talia (also Lex Luthor and...technically Jacob Kane, considering everyone thought Tim was dead during the Rebirth arc).
It's not just the Joker at stake here: if we start saying "Batman should kill the Joker because of what he did to Jason [and everyone else]," you start getting into really thorny questions about well...a lot of Bruce's villains have done some ridiculously morally reprehensible stuff, including mass murder and irreparable personal harm to someone he considers family. What makes the Joker's mass murder different from Ivy's mass murder (and yes, canonically they are both mass murderers) that justifies the Joker's death but not Ivy's?
You can of course justify that by saying "but Ivy's not unredeemable! She can be reasoned with and rehabilitated!" but...what if Bruce had made the decision that she was unredeemable and worthy of death before her No Man's Land-era redemption arc kicked off? It loops back around to #1, that Bruce doesn't feel personally qualified to make that moral and ethical decision about who gets to live or die, because he thinks everyone has the personal capacity to change (and what right does he have to take that possibility away from someone?)
....also personally I think "they deserve to die" and "I deserve to kill them/let them die" aren't morally/ethically equivalent statements and Bruce can certainly think Joker deserves to die without also thinking he is morally allowed to kill him (or morally allowed to let someone else kill him when he has the ability to stop them).
What do you think Batman's coffee order is?
I feel like Batman is one of those people everyone thinks would only drink plain black coffee because when they look at his grim exterior, they can't imagine anything else.
(Hal jokes that Spooky likes his coffee like his soul: pitch black and bitter. Clark pouts and says that's mean. Bruce ignores them. He's so fucking tired.)
Personally, I prefer to think that Bruce has a repressed sweet tooth that Alfred has been shamelessly exploiting since childhood because sometimes slipping a diabolical amount of sugar into his tea is the only way to ensure he's getting any calories that day. (It hurts his soul to do that to a cup of Darjeeling, but needs must.) It holds true in the office, too. Everyone knows Brucie Wayne likes a splash of coffee in his cup of hot vanilla creamer. Interns think it's a joke until they see him drink it.
Sure, he'll drink the plain, bitter bean juice if you give it to him. He's not going to decline caffeine. (It's been 50 hours since this bullshit with the aliens started, and these idiots his fellow heroes aren't going to micromanage themselves.) But also, he won't be mad if Nightwing shows up ten minutes late with Starbucks laced with enough sugar to give Supes heart palpitations.
Dick knows this. He exploits it frequently.
Dick, stepping out of a zeta-tube: "Hey, sorry I'm late. Traffic was murder."
Oliver staring out the empty viewport: "In space?!"
Bruce, two seconds away from passing out and clutching the cup Dick just handed him like a lifeline: "Shut up, Queen."
"Superman Truthers" believe that Superman is actually a powerful metahuman from Earth. According to them he lies about his origin to cover up [insert whatever other conspiracy they believe in here].
the amount of people in the replies saying “what career” lmao
Gladly
i’m going to start saying “sorry i was stimming” in an indiana jones voice forever now
I love this, though, because my favorite thing about Superman is he isn’t Batman. I love Batman too, but Superman isn’t a dude who decided to live his life in pursuit of a vendetta against society when he was eight and then just did nothing for the next two decades but get super jacked, become the world’s greatest detective, and memorize every strategy used by every winner in every field of competition in history. Superman is a very good-hearted person who knows how to bale hay, use AP Stylebook, and break meteors into manageable bite-sized pieces by hitting them real hard. And I’m not saying Superman isn’t smart. He’s a bright guy, he’s just not like, one of the celebrated geniuses of the DC Universe. The best thing about Superman is he is basically a normal dude who happens to be orders of magnitude stronger than anyone else. Normal dudes have brain farts. Normal dudes are presented with a life-or-death situation they have less than four seconds to resolve and make a decision that is not optimal. Normal dudes aren’t typically asked to rescue a child from a 10,000 ton machine bearing down on him at 85mph, but if they were, they would probably sometimes panic a little and do dumb shit like ruin a train when they could have just whisked the child to safety.
I think sometimes Superman makes the wrong decision, not necessarily to the result of extreme catastrophe, but something like this, where everyone is standing around clapping and cheering and the kid’s parents are weeping in gratitude and they want to pose for a picture for the 6 o’ clock news with Superman and the conductor, and in the crowd someone is like “Why didn’t he fly the kid out of the way?” and rather than rolling with the fact that the emperor is naked his friend just says “Shut up, Drew, it’s Superman.”
And then, because I also love Batman for very different reasons, I imagine that later on the same day Bruce Wayne gets a phone call and Clark Kent is like “Hey, Wayne, I uh, need a favor.”
“Do you now.”
“Yeah, I, uh, kind of owe the Union Pacific Railroad $60,000.”
“Oh, and why’s that?”
“Come on, don’t do this to me. It was all over the news.”
“I’m prepared to write you a no-strings-attached check for the full amount on the condition that you explain your entire thought process from beginning to end.”
Anyway, that’s why I like Superman.
I think this is very accurate. One time a tree fell on me in the forest and while it would have made more sense to simply jump to the side and avoid it my idiot brain went through the fight-or-flight options and apparently chose fight, so I reached out my hand and caught the tree, then dropped it on the ground beside me. Ended up fracturing my wrist and wondering why the fuck my brain thought that was the best option for survival. I don’t think people are good at really weighing the optimal choices in moments of crisis.
Bruce: “New Justice League policy. I am willing to pay for whatever damages you guys do in the name of justice and saving lives, but you have to write up a report detailing how the damage occured, including your thought process. Every once in a while, I will complie them into a presentation that we will go through as a whole to determine how you could have mitigated the collateral damage.”
Clark: “This is going to be a ‘name and shame’ type of thing, isn’t it?”
Bruce, lying through his teeth: “Of course not, don’t be ridiculous. This is to improve ourselves.”
The ones who admit “I don’t know what happened here” get a pass on shaming but they still get the alternative suggestions list
And on nights when he really needs a break, Bruce pulls those presentations out, watches the video, and laughs his tits off.
Forget the edgy “batman contingency: here’s how I’d kill all my friends” that’s all over YouTube Shorts, THIS is the series I want to see!
You will be very, very sorry…. Forever.
Gotham Adventures #26
This should be the new “is your Batman remotely like Batman” test. Can your version of Batman be caring enough to hold and care for a small child, yet still menace four criminals into surrendering, and even then still not be scary enough that a civilian can just go up to him and say “hey you holding that baby wrong, you clearly do not know what you’re doing. Let me help.” And he accepts her help, doesn’t try pretend he doesn’t need help because it’d hurt his image.
That’s Batman.
batman: what’s the situation?
commissioner gordon: Harley and Ivy have hijacked an AM radio station and taken the employees hostage
batman: what are their demands?
commissioner gordon: they haven’t issued any. they, uh.
batman:
[commisioner gordon turns on the radio]
harley: —you gotta walk away, sweetie. His family sounds completely toxic, if not outright emotionally abusive, and he’s too enmeshed to see it.
caller: no, you’re right. you’re right. I gotta do it.
harley: you got this, honey. now, stay on the line a minute, I’m writing down some the names of some books for you and you can get those from Ivy after we’re done. okay! our next caller —
[commisioner gordon turns off the radio]
batman: what station is this?
commisioner gordon: WGTM.
batman: the one that rebroadcasts rush limbaugh?
commissioner gordon:
batman:
commisioner gordon: you know what, i probably didn’t need to call you for this.
I WOULD PAY MONEY FOR RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY? I WOULD CALL RADIO SHRINK HARLEY OKAY?
“alright, babe, one more reminder that my license was revoked which means i have to tell you this as your friend and not as a mental health professional: you have two options here. one of them is safe, legal, and healthy, and will have lasting long term benefits. the other one is fun.”
reblogging for this extremely accurate addition.
Ivy’s segment is where people call in to ask why their succulent is dying and she yells at them for watering it too much.
oh, VERY good
A few weeks in Selina gets dragged into it, and starts offering advice on caring for cats with special dietary needs and stuff. It inevitably turns into Jackson-Galaxy-esque explinations.
"My cat keeps attacking my feet."
"How often do you play with him?"
"Not as much as I should, but he has a basket of toys right there where he can reach it."
"He wants to play with you. Grab a teaser toy or a laser pointer and go nuts. He'll wear himself out in about fifteen minutes and you can go back to work."
great, now i actively want someone to start a podcast that’s just in-character episodes of batman villain radio shows
You know, I actually think this would make for a really good Killer Croc redemption storyline
Cause the guy's whole deal is him lashing out at society for rejecting him because he has a skin condition (ignoring the cannibalism in certain adaptations), which means radio would be perfect for him. People can't see him, they can only hear him, and I imagine he has a sort of warm scratchy voice that sounds like he chainsmokes and it feels warm like an old wool blanket
Maybe he tells stories, maybe he does interviews, maybe he takes calls, whatever. But he becomes a fixture of late night Gotham, beloved by late shift workers and night owls, and Waylon Jones becomes a household name amongst a decent chunk of Gotham. That way, when he's eventually outed, people stop reacting like "AAH A CROCODILE MAN" and start being like "hey, it's our Waylon!"
I just like the idea of Croc being accepted and even loved by the people of Gotham
Plot twist:
The show is sponsored by Wayne Enterprises.
If you ask Bruce in his billionaire-playboy-philanthropist-idiot persona, he’ll tell you talk radio is the fastest-growing communications segment in the country and you’ll be left wondering how the fuck this man runs a successful business.
If you are one of the select few who knows him in his “also I am Batman” capacity, he’ll tell you overall crime has gone down since the villain-run station has hit the air, and also if Harley Quinn can talk someone out of the early stages of an abusive relationship before he—or worse, the Gotham City Morgue—has to get involved, so much the better.
(Also, Ivy sent him a very nice orchid with very clear, vaguely-threatening care instructions, as a thank-you for the funding. Alfred follows them to the letter, of course.)
Shelving this right next to the one where the Riddler gets a YouTube account and/or escape room business.
THIS. THIS IS WHY I TALK ABOUT INTERSEX PEOPLE IN RELATION TO TRANS ISSUES.
Trans kansans we are with ya ❤️🏳️⚧️ #ks #ksleg #kansas #kstiktok #wichita #topeka #kansascity #kansascheck #kansasstate #transrightsarehuma
YOU CAN'T JUST LABEL PERFECTLY HEALTHY INTERSEX PEOPLE AS DISABLED AND FORCE THEM TO USE SEPARATE ACCOMMODATIONS.
NOT ONLY IS THAT INTERSEXPHOBIC BUT ITS ABELIST AS HELL.
TERFs get SO MAD. "Stop pulling intersex people into your trans agenda." NO. I'M NOT PULLING THEM INTO MY AGENDA. NOT ONLY IS THIS TRANSPHOBIC, BUT ITS LITERALLY ATTACKING INTERSEX PEOPLE.
-fae
So much yikes at this legislation. It reinforces to me not only how intersex rights and trans rights are intertwined, but also how intersex rights are intertwined with disability rights.
Papa DO Preach