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eclecticopposition

what is THE worst thing you've ever drank. all liquids acceptable. please tell me what it was, bonus points for why

carby

Hey whoa hi. Hello. I am looking directly into your ear canal. What do you mean you drank a tube of virus concentrate.

whyamiherewhosummonedme

So, I was working in a lab, right? My job in the lab was preparing a pure, concentrated enough sample of virus. This is tricky since, y'know, viruses require hosts to replicate, but you then need to get the host cells (and the pieces of the host cells that died!) out of the sample while still keeping the viruses. Once I'd finished and the samples had been sent to the database for analysis as well as a second one sent to be frozen for future reference, there was still some left over that needed to be disposed of.

I, knowing that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity, waited carefully for the lab director to be deep in conversation with someone else on the other side of the laboratory. And then I took my chance.

Test tubes, as it turns out, are really bad as shot glasses. Their shape turns any liquid inside into a stream, so you really can't knock it back quickly - it takes a couple seconds. Additionally, the best way I can describe the taste of virus concentrate was "sterile rot". A very unique kind of bad! Made worse by the test tube's inefficiency as a shot glass.

(by the way we were studying bacteriophages, not animal viruses. these viruses are too specialized on attacking prokaryotes to even recognize our cells as targets at all, according to studies.)

(but also like. if the viruses managed to successfully switch hosts and killed me with a violent infection, itd still be worth it.)

(for science.)

violetthunderstorm

You have a fitting blog title

nico-the-overlord

this post is getting 50k easy

marlinspirkhall

fangs-4-fags

my favorite thing about crocodiles is yeah they're fantastic swimmers and yeah they can run pretty fast and yeah the smaller ones can even climb trees but also. they don't wanna do any of that shit. they just go no, no thanks. that's not for me. i think i'll just wait for someone to mistake me for a log and get too close. and then i'll eat them. many reptiles love this strategy but none pull it off like the humble croc

charl0ttan

mattchewpicchu

These cooking blogs are getting really intricate on hiding the recipe in a story

emilylovescookies

a heart made fullmetal 🦾💕💥

duckdotcom

*experiences joint pain* we are losing the skeleton war

sky-scribbles

Something I love about confronting Cazador is how he obviously never processes that Astarion has friends until it's too late.

Petras and Dalyria must have mentioned that Astarion wasn't alone when they met him, but when you read Cazador's journal? He's 100% fixated on Astarion. How Astarion stood in the sun, how Astarion was willing and able to disobey him. And when Astarion shows up, Cazador barely acknowledges the party at all - and sure, that's partly because this is Astarion's moment in the narrative, but Cazador doesn't so much as ask why these random strangers are there! They're not part of his plans, so they don't exist.

And then they immediately save his errant spawn from the ritual and start beating his ass.

Just. What must have been going through Cazador's head when that fight starting turning against him? 'Is that... the Blade of Frontiers? Why is a monster hunter - and is that a cleric? - helping a vampire spawn? An undead? Ah, but they must be treating it as a necessary evil to have a chance to slay me, of course - hold on, why is the cleric healing Astarion? Why does that wizard keep Counterspelling everything I'm casting at Astarion, why waste the spells when I'm not even targeting him? Did... did that druid just cast Daylight on Astarion's weapons? And that brute of a tiefling - that's not just disgust in her eye when she looks at me, it's fury - and she keeps putting herself in front of Astarion, why in the hells would she - she's running right at me- '

I hope that one of the last things Cazador ever knew was the choking realisation that Astarion didn't just come back strong, or free. Astarion came back loved.

echoechowhiskey

"Astarion came back loved." Ugh I just cant.

karis-the-feral-sideblog

lurker-lenore

clinticalthinkr

For anyone wondering what Wild Rabbit could be writing about if not minotaur smut.

sillystringpasta

gun to my head, you show me the cover and tell me to guess the plot, I a) would never have come up with something as painfully non-horny as above and b) no actually i'm still stuck on point a.

puckgoodfaggot

[id: 1) a post on r/litrpg by whoshotthemouse titled 'i'm finally launching'. the post shows cover art for a book by wild rabbit called 'the staff: a different kind of litrpg' with the 's' in staff made to look like a rod of asclepius (a snake twisting around a staff). the art shows a large, apparently nude minotaur facing a shirtless white man, who holds a rod of asclepius, in a ruined room. the post reads 'edit: thanks to everyone for the honest feedback. just to be clear - and here's a brand-new sentence for you - no, this book does not contain gay minotaur sex. not even a little bit. i'm going back to the drawing board with my artist tomorrow, and we're going to make a cover that conveys more accurately the precise amount of hot minotaur sex in this novel, which again, is zero. edit 2: apparently, i also owe an apology to the small (but [italics] vocal [end italics]) contingent who really wanted this to be minotaur smut. sorry to let you down.'

2) tags reading '#this is why you cant judge a book by its cover #because sometimes the author's vision is delusional'

3) the book overview, which reads 'the true story (-ish) of what really happened to america's most infamous thief. mere minutes after completing his legendary robbery, the man known to history as "db cooper" finds himself inside a strange underground maze full of magic and monsters, armed only with his wits, a half-loaded .22 revolver, and $200,000 in unmarked, non-consecutive one hundred-dollar bills.' /end id]

teaboot

yall aren’t gonna believe this

teaboot

I swear to god I tried to grab my phone but I couldn’t without ruining the moment

He wouldn’t lEAVE

teaboot

I’m so fucking proud of my weird wet son

anticurses

themysteriousmurasamecastle

you need to listen to rap and hiphop you need to listen to jazz you need to listen to blues and country and bluegrass or else you will be inflicted with something most foul of the soul

swordsman-jing-ke

“My emperor is fine” your emperor has commissioned over 8000 life-sized terracotta soldiers and buried them facing east, in the direction of his recently conquered enemies in the hopes that they will protect him in the afterlife.

qin-shi-huang-di

DELETE THIS IMMEDIATELY

alexaloraetheris

Because I'm a biologist and a complete freak, I sometimes amuse myself thinking about like a super ultra advanced alien race that 'conquers' our planet, but instead of being all 'War of the Worlds' about it, they aren't even conquering, as far as they're concerned. There are no inteligent life forms on this planet, after all, just little animals, and they're clearly on the endangered species list. A perfect place to study rare wildlife on an untouched planet.

So there's an alien research station in space. Humanity's worst attempts to destroy it amount to a bear turning over the trash can. Aliens occasionally abduct people and return them with a clean bill of health and an ankle bracelet. It takes them forever to figure out those bracelets are screwing with their data because humans who carry them are curve-wreckingly popular.

Disaster strikes somewhere, I dunno, Japan, and there's an uptick in abductions, but of people stuck in collapsed buildings, and yeah the giant octopus tree that looks straight out of Call of Cthulhu is scary but it's also using tech you can't even comprehend to find survivors and teleport them out of the rubble. You see humans with absolutely 100% deadly injuries wisked away and a good number of them even return. There is now a new consent form specifying if rescuers can take you to the aliens, because they will probably try to save you but if they can't your family will never get your body back. You decide if your life or your body is more important.

Little by little, pragmatism wins out. The aliens aren't attacking, but they ARE abducting and doing weird tests. But the survivors mostly return unharmed with a Big Mac in hand and a weird piece of tech. There have been less valid excuses to miss school. The aliens are clearly researching humanity just as much as we are researching them, and until communications are established this status quo isn't the worst.

Ofc, then one of them actually attacks. Knocks the statue of liberty clean off. The military starts to deploy fast, and even wounds the attacker a lot, but before they can shoot the second missle it bounces. And it turns on the shooter. Every military person in the attack dies, suddenly and through means you cannot comprehend. The other aliens whisk the attacking one away. Construction materials appear as if in apology, but that's it.

The attacker was a hooligan who thought destroying wildlife was fun, and ran into something they can't handle. But even if the bear is perfectly within its rights to defend its territory, the ranger will atill have to shoot it to save the stupid brat, and hope the idiot learned their lesson.

But the bear is still dead. And the forest critters who had just started getting used to the ranger are now having second thoughts.

But the abductions continue. There are no hooligans for a while. And what else can you do? This is your home, but if the invaders really want to take it, what can you do?

So you try to stay out of their way, if you are in some serious trouble and your chances are already less than 50/50, maybe you seek them out. Sometimes they help. Sometimes they don't.

And sometimes the abductees catch glimpses of something that looks like it might have been human once, but eyes and skin all wrong, speaking incomprehensibly, and rubbing its head on the alien's 'knees'.

You go home to your dog and try not to think about it.

alexaloraetheris