[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[murkymarco]

Caught myself spiraling and then remembered it's just my body not wanting to exist in these temperatures

[sticksandsharks]

Johto Beginnings, Myths & Legends

[harpertheidiot]

I saw a post like this recently so I'm making a classics version

Spin the wheel. This Greek mythological figure is trying to kill you

Spin the wheel again. This Greek mythological figure is trying to protect you

Are you surviving?

100% no, my corpse is desecrated

100% no, but I am given a proper burial

Yes, but with major injuries

Yes, but with minor injuries

100% yes, not a scratch on me

Other (explain in tags)

Remaining time: 4 hours

[pathogenflock]

"he would not fucking say that" but about injuries. he would not fucking recover that quickly. those scars would not fucking heal like that. he would not be fucking able bodied after that. he would not be fully lucid after that.

[blackforestbride]

WHEN HE FALLS FROM A WHAT INTO THE WHAt

[blackforestbride]

?????????

?????

[blackforestbride]

WHAT IS GOING ON IN ACE ATTORNEY???

[aceattorneygame]

Nothing good.

[tunisian]

Telling people not to use chatgpt is ableist. Some people arent eloquent enough and need it to convey what they want to say

not only are you stupid you are also a big fucking loser

[cuprohastes]

About ten, fifteen years ago I wrote a story about a guy living in a Capitalist dystopia. His walls, furniture, and tableware are all covered in smart displays. Basically animated wallpaper. It's sold as being able to turn your room or objects into anything - A nice forest view, outer space, a fantasy realm... but the companies that run this stuff keep sneaking ads in.

It gets so bad he's always being woken up by adverts that offer insomnia cures and better bedding that play when he tries to sleep.

So he buys the ad-free tier, and it's great... for a few months. And then he starts getting adverts from 'premium partners'. So he goes up a level... and the same thing happens.

So he jailbreaks his wallpaper and sends all the ad servers to 0.0.0.0 and voila... he can sleep.

Until this SWAT team blows his door off and drag him off to jail. The Ad companies are suing him for loss of revenue for the products he' notionally have bought if he'd watched their adverts, based on some weird 'The average consumer buys X products with an average value of Y' calculation.

The judge is like 'well I dun wanna annoy the sponsors' so he RICO's this guy's house and possessions and sends him to jail.

... which is a nice relaxed non-volent offender jail for the corporately disenfranchised. But because these people have no money... there's no ads and now he's happy because the only place he's free... is in prison.

Which at the time was a bit much and now it's like: Called it.

Elon's suing companies for not advertising because he's losing revenue. He's also cranking the price of Ad Free Twitter. Disney and Amazon play adverts on their paid service when services used to be free because of the adverts... and now you have to pay to watch the adverts or go up a couple of tiers.

And google's going around freaking out about ad-blockers.

[alexaloraetheris]

OP did it hurt when Apollo's dodgeball hit you and made you write that story?

[sabertoothwalrus]

guy who definitely doesn't blame himself for anything or has self-destructive tendencies

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

[krystal-prisms]

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

gosh I enjoy this website

[authoratmidnight]

For comparison, this is a daffodil

[quietlygrousing]

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

[maejacrezz007]

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

[fractiousrvt]

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

[blood-trip-god2]

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

[delphinidin4]

This is a marigold:

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

[lorienlady]

In the UK these are also Marigolds, but I don’t think anyone is going to confuse them for any of the flowers in the above thread

[stealingpotatoes]

reason 1 million why i love zukka: how extra insane it makes hakoda's family tree

(links // tip jar!)

[theskydoesgreatthingsnow]

🪩 🎶 🦀 🦀 🦀 🎶 🪩

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

the problem with not having watched anime growing up is that when I watch anime now I am suddenly assaulted with psychic blasts in which I recognize the source for all mannerisms and aesthetics of my peers

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

anime character: [does a gesture with his hand]

me: [involuntarily skyrockets backwards through time while screaming]

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

you guys I am having a fucking moment over here because I just started hunter x hunter and I am faced with the strong possibility that my old enemy from study abroad based his whole personality on one of the characters

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

is this how cosmic horror protagonists feel when they receive secret truths about the universe that unravel their sanity? because I don’t know if I can keep mine burdened with the knowledge that I spent six months of my life violently beefing with someone who kinned this guy:

[wainswright]

sorry for elevating the tags op im trying to reconstruct this scenario in my minds eye.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

literally the first day I met him I was like “this guy talks and acts like he’s trying to be an anime villain” and somehow it didn’t occur to me that he was trying to be a specific anime villain.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

he’s the guy from this post in which I really downplayed just how fucking weird he was because it distracted from the point of the story but oh my god. I swear to god he quoted lines from the show. he kept his fingernails filed into sharp points for slashing damage. he thought suddenly appearing behind you and grabbing you by the throat was a really funny way to greet you. do you know how much psychic damage I am taking from this revelation? do you know???? after our first fight he brushed himself off and said “oh what fun that was!” in this stupid voice, even though I’d kicked his ass. I can’t believe I thought I was maybe going to be murdered by an alcoholic hisoka kinnie. how do I un-know this.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

hey! you’ll never guess what he’s up to now!

he works for the department of defense.

[fool-counter]

the problem with not having watched anime growing up is that when I watch anime now I am suddenly assaulted with psychic blasts in which I recognize the source for all mannerisms and aesthetics of my peers

anime character: [does a gesture with his hand]

me: [involuntarily skyrockets backwards through time while screaming]

you guys I am having a fucking moment over here because I just started hunter x hunter and I am faced with the strong possibility that my old enemy from study abroad based his whole personality on one of the characters

is this how cosmic horror protagonists feel when they receive secret truths about the universe that unravel their sanity? because I don’t know if I can keep mine burdened with the knowledge that I spent six months of my life violently beefing with someone who kinned this guy:

like the voice is the same. the mannerisms are the same. he talked like that irl. he wanted to be this pink clown so fucking bad and i feel like that explains. everthing about him.

sorry for elevating the tags op im trying to reconstruct this scenario in my minds eye.

literally the first day I met him I was like “this guy talks and acts like he’s trying to be an anime villain” and somehow it didn’t occur to me that he was trying to be a specific anime villain.

he’s the guy from this post in which I really downplayed just how fucking weird he was because it distracted from the point of the story but oh my god. I swear to god he quoted lines from the show. he kept his fingernails filed into sharp points for slashing damage. he thought suddenly appearing behind you and grabbing you by the throat was a really funny way to greet you. do you know how much psychic damage I am taking from this revelation? do you know???? after our first fight he brushed himself off and said “oh what fun that was!” in this stupid voice, even though I’d kicked his ass. I can’t believe I thought I was maybe going to be murdered by an alcoholic hisoka kinnie. how do I un-know this.

hey! you’ll never guess what he’s up to now!

he works for the department of defense.

fool count: 14

[akajustmerry]

hello person who menstruates who also needs ADHD medications to function properly. due to you being someone who menstruates, that medication that you take to help you do basic day to day functions will just stop working during certain phases of your hormone cycle. basically 1 week out of every 3 or 4 weeks, your medication will just stop working! yes we know that while you're bleeding is arguably when you need the most assistance with your executive functions. however we did not care to create a medication, nor test this medication on anyone other than people who do not menstruate because we don't give a shit about you. and yes this is why you also have the PMS That Wants To Kill You otherwise known as PMDD. we decided to give this terrible phenomenon of how your lack of efficient dopamine creation and absorption makes you incredibly ill and suicidal for a week or so out of every month due to your hormones into a fun acronym for which we have no treatment other than saying "hang in there, pal!". what more do you want? for us to test or make treatments specifically for people who menstruate? hilarious. anyway, you're very welcome for us making you pay 100s of dollars to access a medication that only works around half of each month you're alive and not in the half where you really need it the most. We'd tell you we hate you, but that would require us to think about you at all. Toodles.

[horsefigureoftheday]

Nova's tips for beating the heatwave:

1. Check that you have good access to shade trees, a shelter custom made to fit you and all your friends, and plenty of good airflow

2. Find the hottest, sunniest, and least windy part of you pasture and lay down

3. Make sure you look as much as possible like you have died of heatstroke

4. Get your friends in on it

[prince-of-goths]

A horse's biggest purpose in life is to make you think they died

[andhumanslovedstories]

There’s an emotion only unlocked when you live in a house with multiple stories. I call it “the stair emotion” and it’s when you realize the object you need is on the other side of yet another trip up and down those goddamn stairs. It’s the closest I get to transcending the desire for material goods. Maybe I don’t need that notebook. Maybe I don’t need anything.

[viiioca]

i think my favorite ff14 narrative gimmick is that the savage raid unlocks are explicitly just the WOL having adhd daydreams about the cool shit they've done. the omega raids are even explicitly about cid trying to put on an ASMR tibetan meditation spotify playlist to calm them down but the WOL is unmedicated so it really only makes the problem worse