Titles Are Hard

She/Her. I read a lot. Most posts are queued. If I follow you and unfollow you I’m sorry. it’s because I have clumsy thumbs, please trust I’m doing all I can to change that

[moveslikekeithrichards]

got cornflakes for fried chicken & the back of the box has its own recipe. easy as pie. "rinse chicken tenders with cold water and coat with crushed kelloggs corn flakes cereal." and then cook. no binding agent. no seasoning. nothing but a pile of flavorless chicken with a side of the extra-dried-out cornflakes that fell off it. serve warm with your favorite dipping sauce. doesnt even say serve hot. Serve Warm. wouldnt wanna get too wild with it. truly this is the spirit of cornflakes

[memento-mariii]

[brawlite]

let 👏 actors 👏 have 👏 male 👏 pattern 👏 baldness 👏 again

[brawlite]

congrats this post was actually originally about walter skinner

[hometoursandotherstuff]

 Z from the 1998 animated film Antz.

[valtsv]

if you're an adult behaving immaturely i'm not going to "treat you like a child" about it because i have a lot of respect for children as an oppressed and vulnerable class of people. i will however treat you like an embarrassment. which you are being.

[valtsv]

[cute-catts]

[adinosaurnamedmittens]

[filthywine]

I don't care. I'm in the crevice

[my-dailydreams]

[catchymemes]

[quasi-normalcy]

[frogmachines]

Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like Nick Suzuki

[dailycatsblog]

[shutyourmoustache]

When my mother forgets a word, she is the queen of coming up with new words. Words that would take a third National Treasure movie to fully decipher. I was talking to her yesterday, and she said this: “You know the time for los jibbities is coming up. You must be so excited!” Oh, is it time for los jibbities already? I must have missed it on my calendar. Are we celebrating something? “Of course! We should all be celebrating, shouldn’t we?” OK, so los jibbities is a happy thing. It’s not like something is giving you the heebie-jeebies, which would have been my one and only guess. “Los heebie-jeebies? Now you’re making things up...and this is my show.” You’re right. The time for los jibbities is coming up. Is this a season? “Yes, the season for love. The season for pride.” OK, los jibbities. “Yeah, sound it out.” Los…jibbities. LGBTs! “Sí, mira cuz you’re gay!” “You couldn’t just say pride season? You couldn’t just… *laughs*

[party-gilmore]

HAPPY LOS JIBBITIES EVERYBODY!!!

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

The time for Los Jibbities has arrived!

[parkayquarts]

im not even the type of guy to go "actually it's frankenstein's MONSTER" because a painting by rembrandt or picasso or any other artist is often called "a rembrandt" or "a picasso" as shorthand. so in this respect frankenstein's monster can be considered "a frankenstein"

[parkayquarts]

darling I love your 8 foot tall patchwork flesh creature, it really livens up the place. is that an authentic frankenstein?

[parkayquarts]

it's only a true frankenstein if it was produced in the frankenstein region of switzerland. otherwise it's just a sparkling homunculus

[lakevida]

i always convince myself i dont sound that weird and then i go out in the world and get involved in anything longer than transactional small talk and its like ohhh thats right ive only been hanging out with gay people who speak in riddles

[homunculus-argument]

I think cities should have coin-operated nests you can open for a small fee and then stay in for a pre-set length of time. Little discreet capsule hotel type places you can crawl inside to do whatever you please while the outside shows that it's occupied and can only be opened from the inside. Just scattered around in whatever odd locations happened to have an empty space big enough to install one. Make the locations odd but typical enough that people learn what kind of places to start looking for one even in cities they've never been in, just the same as how squirrels don't remember where they hide all their stuff, they just look for stored food from the kind of places where a squirrel would hide it. Like you gotta get a place to sleep, so you start looking for a random round door in a wall.

[homunculus-argument]

"But people will just use those to do drugs and jerk off" yeah but people who would do that are gonna do that anyway, do you want to watch them do it on the subway? Like some kind of a pervert?

"Homeless people would use them" yeah sure and people sit on park benches. And they also shit in bathrooms. People should have public access to places where they can sit, shit, and sleep. Ideally these three should also be three separate places. If I see you taking a shit on a park bench I'm beating your ass.

[my-castles-crumbling]

okay stay with me for this one.

When Ilya moves to the Centaurs he doesn’t get to keep his number. Some old fuck on the team already has it and refuses to trade, no matter how much Ilya bribes him.

so, in true Ilya Rozanov fashion, he picks the number 24. People think he did it to be an asshole, which is true, but he also did it to have Shane with him all the time. Shane was both infuriated and touched by it.

but then of course, years later, SHANE transfers to Ottawa. And lo and behold, the old fuck who had number 81 retired, so when Shane has to choose a number?

81 is available.

so the first day of training, Shane walks into practice in a jersey that says Hollander, 81, with an absolutely shit-eating grin on his face.

and Ilya goes insane.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Okay I'm gonna write it

[luisonte]

Vetalamierda

[beardedmrbean]

I'm sorry, the moment you hear someone with a voice that sounds like this guy put your hand in your pocket over your wallet and do not let go till you haven't seen him for 10 or more min.

[objectlessondujour]

When you move your hand your credit cards are all sevens

[valdevia]

Deadly infections with what has become known as "hatemold" (Jacare rowlii) are on the rise this year. This parasitic black mold is thought to be attracted to individuals who fill their life with hatred towards their fellow humans, weakening their immune system. It has been known to affect people in the TERF community, among other bigots.

[valdevia]

Happy Pride Month everyone! Please spare a thought for the hatemold as it keeps doing its heroic work this year <3