stupid canadian wolf bird appologist

Oscar // 30s // any pronouns 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ my art & GIFs [interacts from @scienceviewscreen]

[hit-the-showerz]

We've both been here before / Matter of fact, I caught you lookin' back / So let's go

[scartafacci]

[penandinkprincess]

i feel like an underdiscussed element of the locker room situation is also that shane had time to get fully dressed and still had to fuck around and pretend to be putting on his shoes to buy time and make an excuse for still being there by the time ilya came out, still wrapped in a towel

like i know my man's shower routine is not THAT fucking intense my GOD

which means that ilya fully 100% was deliberately giving shane time to get dressed and be gone if he wanted, which i find extremely sweet, honestly

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[vermilion-vibes-art]

"and your mother?"

"dead."

This scene ran me over then put it in reverse to finish the job - I had to paint it

[faustique]

there's a special place in my heart for people who made an effort to be my friend regardless of how quiet or distant i can get at times

[perotovar]

ilya rozanov appreciation week: day two favorite look: black on black

Heated Rivalry (2025-) dir. Jacob Tierney

[woman-respecter]

12 year old girls in the early 2000s watching the accidental kiss in episode 3 of naruto

[firstprinced]

the worlds most talented artists came together and got into heated rivalry i guess

[smokingrozanov]

Ilya, lighting a cigarette outside of his own home: isn’t it crazy I was your first everything with a guy

Shane, sober but so horny he can’t think: can you put that out on me.

[the-haiku-bot]

Shane, sober but so

horny he can’t think: can you

put that out on me.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[smokingrozanov]

HAIKU BOT NO—

[shanyshko]

ilya mad shane came up to talk to him like he wasn't stalking the fuck out of shane in that ice rink. yeah he just happened to be watching canadian men's figure skating the day after losing to latvia complete coincidence shane was there. it's like when cats bite you after following you into a room. shane's like omg kitty! and ilya is like NOOOO NO NO YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO SEE ME OBVIOUSLY FOLLOWING YOU

[stardustpainter]

Ilya trying to outplay his demons

[smokingrozanov]

Marleau voice Haha baby when youre with me it’s called the Cliff-oris and I can find it every time. Wait where are you going

[fayrism]

I decided they both get to be Juliet

IDs in alt

[shanesloverboy]

How Connor was moving

[stonerthings]

Pass the blunt to your followers

[sexcondo]

ilya wearing a shirt that says “yearning makes your ass fat”