Heathenism for Total Morons

He/Him/Bitch Bisexual horror enthusiast who writes sometimes.

[heathenistic-moron]

Baby steps. Through spilt milk. Onto your freshly vacuumed carpet.

I have no idea who’s going to see this because I’ve literally never posted before and this isn’t tied to any of my regular social media, but I want you to know I am here for the express purpose of lying in wait until the moments arise when I can post absolute units of essays in response to the most obscure shit you can imagine.

I make terrible jokes, weird unnecessarily complex threats that go nowhere disguised as jokes, portmanteaus out of anything, and bad life decisions.

Also I make spelling errors and no apologies.

[demilypyro]

bro experiencing his first girl rivalry

[lowpawly]

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

[lowpawly]

alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore

[lowpawly]

I liked the person who called these tantrumcore

[bludragongal]

Spider-Man: MENACE

[bludragongal]

THANK YOU so many people have stolen/reposted this comic!

[the-autistic-spider]

amazing would love more menace spidey

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I want more superhero content where the heroes do stuff like this :D

[firechat]

I like to think spidey started to flip it and teased it like “oh! Oh! You better stop me! No? *tips more* oh your coffee spilled oh nooo!!” And then set it down upside down right as the cop ran up. The car isn’t destroyed, but like… this is clearly a problem. And all of this would have been avoided if the cop wasn’t being a prick.

[bludragongal]

correct

[a-sip-of-milo]

Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

How to clean dishes by hand

How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)

How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)

How to mop the floor

How to sweep the floor

How to swallow pills

How to make small talk

How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

[chompercroncher-deactivated2024]

Also if the reason you don't know is developmental , intelectual or learning disabilities making you struggle even if you've been taught a bunch of times , you are so cool and awesome too :^) [smiley face ]

[presidentdragon]

"that time of the month" "monthly visitor" "feminine hygiene products" GRRAH!!! SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! PERIOD!! MENSTRUATION!!!! TAMPONS!!! PADS!! MENOPAUSE!!!!!!!!!!!

[tyke-dyke]

VAGINA!!!!

[presidentdragon]

[lastoneout]

[penny-anna]

anyway sound off. at what stage do ppl think Han figured out the Force was real. the boring answer is after seeing Obi-wan vanish but i think he could rationalise that away as his eyes playing tricks on him. what do we think.

[my-last-brain-cell-is-socrates]

Let me demonstrate my answer for you:

That's it. That's my answer. Endor.

Please just take a look at Han's face right after witnessing 3po float. The man just had his entire worldview blown to smithereens.

[whetstonefires]

that's so funny. that means he accepted Vader deflecting a blaster bolt with his hand as just something freaky government cyborgs can do, and stuck by Luke for multiple years as he tried to figure this Force stuff out, and just treated it like your friend getting really really into neopaganism to cope with a loss.

like yeah kid good job with the witching. i'm certain it will be more useful against your enemies than your sharpshooting. no i do not think your witchcraft is supplementing your aim but i'm not gonna argue about it.

[penny-anna]

yeah Luke was like 'I heard Ben Kenobi's voice in my head telling me how to blow up the Death Star :)' and Han was like 'kind of an unusual coping mechanism but I'm not gonna argue with him'

[davetheshady]

thanks to carbonite han not only misses learning about luke's training montage on dagobah, he's also half-blind during their whole escape on tatooine. luke's out there force-kicking henchmen with his gucci boots and doing flips and shit and han can't see a goddamn thing. now on endor luke's yeeting threepio with the power of his mind and han's just like 'the last time we hung out i had to stuff him in a tauntaun sleeping bag'.

[bogwitch-extraordinaire]

@softness-and-shattering I hate you I hate you I hate you

[oh-frederik-what-a-day-its-been]

[headspace-hotel]

Was I the one scrolling this post like "surely this is going to be the last one"

[rustybottlecap]

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

There is… a lot going on here.

[stahsm]

Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy

[thatisuseful]

Damn, that's useful

[fluidstatick]

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

[watsdaughter]

tags by @gallusrostromegalus

[teaboot]

OH HELL THE FUCK YES

[anscathmarcach]

All this discourse over who does "painting with light"

Hiroshi Nagai's paintings need sunglasses to look at.

They look like how it feels to walk across a parking lot on a 98° summer day without a speck of shade in sight.

They look like heaven but also like you'd burn your bare feet on the ground.

Even when you can see shade you know it's not enough and the minute you step out you'll be burnt to a crisp like a vampire.

And it's BEAUTIFUL

[dbarenzu626]

I'll throw in the wonderful Eizin Suzuki into this ring too, a man whose work just breathes light without actually using dynamic lighting in the usual way. It's no surprise both Nagai and Suzuki are both considered prolific in art pertaining to the city pop genre because they're able to paint these kinds of scenes with a delicate touch.

This feels like I could trip on that radio and fall right into that water, feeling the crystal waves as I drop in.

And this, a nice stroll down a resort strip, where my sunscreened skin could literally feel cooked if I leaned too close to the tiling.

And then a nice stretch of summer street, wherein you could see your face in the flushed red of that car provided it didn't blind you from its sunny reflections.

I don't think I even need to say anything more, Suzuki's a massive influence in how he even places colours so warmly in such unorthodox manner. It's a naturally sunkissed talent~ 🌊

[teaboot]

Someone in my apartment complex is playing the bagpipes at bagpipes volume

[introvertia]

Unless you’ve ever been in a room with a bagpipes player you have no idea how fucking loud bagpipes volume is.

[teaboot]

I have in fact several times been in a room with a bagpipes player and can fully confirm that this is absolutely the volume at which bagpipes Are

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

HATE when u can feel ur intestines writhing. cease your wriggling insolent belly worm

[skyporf]

WHEN do you ever feel that

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the worms yearn for escape

[leo-forgot-to-create]

The worms are telling you to go see a doctor...

[skyactually]

@entities-of-posts the corruption/flesh?

[purlturtle]

After my hysto, I was in *intense* abdominal pain that didn't feel like wound pain from the ablation but something different that I couldn't explain, until the gynecologist told me "yep, that'd be your intestines rearranging themselves into the gap left behind by your uterus."

So there's a mental picture for you. Slither slither. Slither slither.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

awwww, they were exploring their new enclosure 😍😍😍

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh GOOD tags:

#exact same thing happened to me after my hysterectomy #my single remaining ovary is just wandering around in there now. we call him odysseus #we dont know where he is

[yorgen-sh]

The Chinese shoe manufacturer decided to demonstrate the indestructibility of their shoes

[scarlettohairdye]

And also the indestructibility of that woman's ankles

[pez-uzi-deactivated20160424]

Places where reality is a bit altered:

[solareveille]

playgrounds at night

rest stops on highways

deep in the mountains

[ghostfiish]

early in the morning wherever it’s just snowed

trails by the highway just out of earshot of traffic

schools during breaks

those little beaches right next to ferry docks

bowling alleys

[genesisdoes-moved]

unfamiliar mcdonalds on long roadtrips

your friends living room once everybody but you is asleep

laundromats at midnight

• any target • churches in texas • abandoned 7/11’s • your bedroom at 5 am • hospitals at midnight • warehouses that smell like dust • lighthouses with lights that don’t work anymore • empty parking lots • ponds and lakes in suburban neighborhoods • rooftops in the early morning • inside a dark cabinet

[ringingofraevolution]

galeries in art museums that are empty except for you 

the lighting section of home depot

stairwells

[doomgeneration1995]

•hospital waiting rooms •airports from midnight to 7am • bathrooms in small concert venues

[midtownsparker]

I just got the weirdest feeling I swear

[the-crepes-of-wrath]

OK LISTEN THERE ARE REASONS FOR THIS!!!

A lot of these places are called liminal spaces - which means they are throughways from one space to the next. Places like rest stops, stairwells, trains, parking lots, waiting rooms, airports feel weird when you’re in them because their existence is not about themselves, but the things before and after them. They have no definitive place outside of their relationship to the spaces you are coming from and going to. Reality feels altered here because we’re not really supposed to be in them for a long time for think about them as their own entities, and when we do they seem odd and out of place.

The other spaces feel weird because our brains are hard-wired for context - we like things to belong to a certain place and time and when we experience those things outside of the context our brains have developed for them, our brains are like NOPE SHIT THIS ISN’T RIGHT GET OUT ABORT ABORT. Schools not in session, empty museums, being awake when other people are asleep - all these things and spaces feel weird because our brain is like “I already have a context for this space and this is not it so it must be dangerous.” Our rational understanding can sometimes override that immediate “danger” impulse but we’re still left with a feeling of wariness and unease. 

Listen I am very passionate about liminal spaces they are fascinating stuff or perhaps I am merely a nerd. 

[sp1ne-sh0t]

I, for one, appreciate your passion for liminal spaces and thank you for explaining it to the rest of us.

[mysticskyes]

I get the playgrounds at night because I walk to one that’s near my house at night sometimes and hang out. I always feel like I’m being watched or followed, or rather something out of the ordinary is happening

[abomination-of-yondo-deactivate]

Hey since TERFs buried the original, higher quality recording, here’s the only surviving recording of trans activist Sylvia Rivera’s infamous “Y'all Better Quiet Down” speech, along with full transcription, now free and open on Archive.org. The transphobic fucks can try their best to scrub us from history, but we’re not going anywhere.

[gaylor-moon]

Oh wow a piece of lgbt history..

[strawberrynesquikphilosophies]

L020A Sylvia Rivera, "Y'all Better Quiet Down" Original Authorized Video by LoveTapesCollective, 1973 Gay Pride Rally NYC

(Sylvia speech (1:02-5:14) Controversial speech at June 24,1973 Gay Pride Rally at Washington Square Park NYC . Sylvia Rivera was introduced

since OP link is dead

[goodfriendo]

new link here with transcript

Sylvia Rivera Y'all Better Quiet Down 1978 : Sylvia Rivera : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

    [Transcript: An audio clip of Sylvia Rivera giving her speech to a crowd, who can be heard at the start before she begins her speech, sa

[anti-terf-posts]

official anti terf post

[peony-pearl]

THIS IS AN OC CHECKPOINT

give me 1 cool fact about your oc RIGHT NOW

[peony-pearl]

UPDATE it doesn't even have to be 'cool', give me a fact about ur oc!!!!