Stardate Whenever

Lesbian. Feminist.

[vintage-bentley]

I saw a video that claimed “lesbian 101” is that “sandbags”—breasts—ruin an outfit. First of all, since when was lesbian 101 anything other than breasts are a gift from God herself? Second of all, can we please quit this trend of finding increasingly stupid ways of referring to breasts, a natural body part that 50% of the human population has, as something negative that’s some sort of burden or hindrance separate from the body? Not only is it misogynistic, but it’s an incredibly unhealthy way of viewing your body.

[hmsindecision]

If you think boobs ruin an outfit I truly question if you are a lesbian lol. Do you go to art museums and just look at the frames???

[lyra-gutters]

saying that trans women and transfems belong in lesbian spaces is way more transgressive and needed than saying trans men and transmascs belong in lesbian spaces

[womynsreality]

It’s also way more predatory

[hmsindecision]

I would agree that it is more transgressive, under the first definition here. It is absolutely exceeding the limits and boundaries of lesbians. But needed? Why in the world is it always considered necessary to stomp on the boundaries of women? Why would lesbian spaces be seen as so necessary to make into something else, when those very spaces exist because lesbians are so unwelcome in so many areas of life? Why do so many trans women see it as important to compare their wants and status to trans men? Why do so many seem to see spaces for lesbians as places that are made to be affirming to people’s identities rather than spaces that are lesbian by merit of being full of lesbians? Why do so many people see female homosexuality as something to be crushed and conquered and attained rather than as a natural variance in some people?

The only neat answer to all this, of course, is that male people HATE anything that isn’t for them, and feel a constant need to conquer and destroy it. At best, they are unable to see when spaces have not been created for them, this so rarely being the case. They cannot stand the cognitive dissonance of being disallowed into female space when they see themselves as having willingly lowered themselves into the gender role offered to female people.

In order to believe that lesbian spaces need male members, you must be one of three things: male, male centered, or hopelessly naive.

[hmsindecision]

People will tell you in one breath that they think anti-porn is anti-sex and then in the next breath tell you they can definitely recognize all propaganda lmao

[hmsindecision]

“Actually the root of women’s oppression is capitalism”

So… women under feudalism and mercantilism weren’t oppressed? Or did you learn about Marxism from a 35 year old college guy with a bad haircut and an underage girlfriend?

Capitalism isn’t good but believe it or not it isn’t the only bad system we tried. Not the first. Not even the second.

[hmsindecision]

This post really hit a nerve with a bunch of people who decided to call me a pedophile today. I wish that people who hated women had even an ounce of originality! Or at least had insults that connected or make sense! Then again, I think that anyone who “trolls” on the internet is probably deeply insecure and has a truly awful life

[hmsindecision]

the world is better with you in it!! me and countless other people got great insights and advices from you, and that's just one part of the good impact you bring by being you 💕

You’re so sweet! Keep being you, the world needs light :)

[hmsindecision]

the world would genuinely be better off with you dead

You and I live in such different worlds. I have to imagine that the world you live in is a dark and unkind place where you often feel out of control; maybe you feel like the world is conspiring against you. Maybe sending suicide bait to people in the middle of the night is something that helps you feel like you have a modicum of control over the world. Maybe saying terrible things to others is a way of feeling more secure about yourself. I don’t know. I’m not in your head and thank the goddess for that.

But, as odd as this sounds, thanks for the perspective today. Ten years ago I might have agreed with you. Today, I have a full community that I show up for, I have incredible relationships with my loved ones. I have such a deep love for myself and the work that I do every day to make a better world for myself and others. The world would not be better without me, it would be poorer. Seeing the difference in my reaction to you lashing out was a powerful reminder. My life is marked by love and joy.

I would recommend seeking out professional help when you feel this unheard and small and petty. It’s probably a sign that your life is going in a direction that is causing you a lot of pain. Emotionally healthy people don’t talk to other humans like this; you’re pushing away community, connection, empathy, and happiness. I feel sorry for you, and you should feel sorry for you too. Do better.

[hmsindecision]

If you think that only skinny women can have eating disorders

This is because you hold the belief that eating disorders “work”

And it indicates that maybe you have a disordered relationship with bodies

If you think that body hair on women is unattractive and a burden

This is because your brain defaults to what you have been told is attractive and good enough

And indicates that your beliefs on beauty belong to somebody else

If you are stuck in a cycle of negative beliefs about your self worth and self esteem

This is because you live in a world that has convinced you that self-policing is the only path to emotional safety

And it indicates that you feel self-sabotage is the only path to self-control

Our biases often reveal aspects of patriarchial conditioning

And it is deep and necessary feminist work to recondition your brain

Root out what is not native to you, weed the garden of your mind

Because those invasive species are destroying your natural ecosystem

It’s worth living in a world where you have compassion for yourself,

because if you want compassion for billions of women who are not like you

You should start with compassion for the one who is exactly like you

And if you can unravel the ropes that hold you down

When another woman struggles, you can tell her: “Sister, don’t be scared,

I know the way.”

[mean-gemini-deactivated20240519]

Idk bring back over the top goddess worship female superiority feminism. Women are divine and men are worthless. Goodnight

[gokusclit]

Average alt girl

[flowerlygirls]

everyone needs to become less afraid of being alone NOW jesus christ you cannot genuinly prefer bad company to peaceful solitude

[hmsindecision]

I think there is a difference between “we can still be friends even if you aren’t boycotting Target because it’s the only grocery store you can access” or “I can’t currently afford to have a completely ethically made wardrobe on my salary” and “we can be friends even though you’re a racist and a liar who bullies people”. Trying to hold everyone to standards like the first is a recipe for lack of community. Not holding people to standards like the second is a recipe for a bad community that hurts people.

[genderisareligion]

Happy Pride Month here's your much needed reminder that same sex love is beautiful it's 1000% okay to reject dick havers for any reason and anyone who tells you otherwise is backwards and homophobic 🏳️‍🌈👩🏽‍❤️‍💋‍👩🏾

[kiefbowl]

I saw on insta this morning a reel of a woman who's been hosting a dinner party for friends for the past two years show snap shots of the parties each month for the last year. and I'm interested in that in general, I'd like to start hosting more. so I go into the comments and there are just some rank ass ppl saying things like "oh so you're rich rich" and "some of us don't have money." Is it fun living so miserably?

[creatureofthecornfield]

maybe im too broke but if you can afford to host a dinner party every month thats fucking rich, unless you're hosting a potluck, dinner parties are fucking expensive

[kiefbowl]

okay so what?

[creatureofthecornfield]

so what? not everyone has the fucking means to throw fancy ass dinner parties constantly, some of us are fuckin suffering.

[kiefbowl]

yeah but like why is that relevant to someone posting their dinner party. it has nothing to do with you.

[creatureofthecornfield]

you're the one criticizing poor folks for being irritated that the rich can flaunt their wealth for everyone to see constantly. if you wanna have a nice thing with friends thats fine but its for a group chat, not the public internet. rich folks need to quit showing off.

[kiefbowl]

wow you really do think the world is about you. well good luck with that

[creatureofthecornfield]

maybe if you stopped to acknowledge that its not a politically neurotypical act to flaunt wealth youd understand the irritation towards people who make it impossible to exist as a impoverished person without being reminded of how privelaged people will always have more thsn you.

[kiefbowl]

no <3

[carpathxanridge]

lmaoooo at “politically neurotypical”

[antiporn-activist]

I could throw a dinner party and just serve a lasagna. That might cost me $25 in groceries. Maybe throw in some orange juice and French bread, now we’re up to $32. Woo-hoo! Living large.

[hmsindecision]

There are people out here spending 10k on food a day. There are people who cater every meal. There are billionaires out there… and the critique is of people who are one rung above you on the ladder who can afford to… have friends over for a meal once a month? This is some crabs in a bucket behavior lol

[kiefbowl]

you literally do not have to think about your identity all that much

[watermelinoe]

there's an interesting chapter in this book called old mistresses: women, art, and ideology that deals with the conflict of identity of woman and artist. the authors reference this conclusion from simone de beauvoir's the second sex: "what woman essentially lacks today for doing great things is forgetfulness of herself, but to forget oneself it is first of all necessary to be firmly assured that now and for all the future, one has found oneself." looking at that section of the second sex, de beauvoir's point i would argue is that assurance is implicit for men and not for women. women can't forget ourselves because of that lack of assurance. our identity as Woman is inextricably tangled with our work, so we are always self-conscious of this conflict of identities. it hinders our capability. (i'm reminded of the experiment showing that women performed worse on math tests when wearing swimsuits - self-consciousness makes us worse)

the authors of old mistresses write of french rococo artist elisabeth vigée-lebrun: "she was acceptable only in so far as her person, her public persona, conformed to the current notions of Woman, not artist."

so back to the original post, i think what this means for women is that we need the assurance to forget ourselves. to not think about our identities all that much. society will continue to prescribe our identities based on our sex, but we don't have to spend our lives twisting ourselves in knots to affirm or deny this prescribed identity. we can simply be :)

[toskarin]

If you got the midas touch what would be the first thing you’d touch

local dogs

[toskarin]

every bird and innocent people too

[toskarin]

the sea

[hmsindecision]

I would touch women’s shitty husbands then help the ladies melt the men into sellable gold 💜 finally make them useful 💜

[iwanttolisten]

One thing I found super interesting learning about the uterus in anatomy class is that it isn't actually stretched out like you see in diagrams. It's super cooped up in there

[hmsindecision]

Ableism is a reflection of patriarchial values and your casual ableism is you not challenging patriarchy

[ilynpilled]

actually how many significant female characters fitting this archetype can u think of? and i mean their arc and role being actually substantial

[belladonnafeli]

Women don’t really get these arcs as much as men, but it does remind me of this quote.

[hmsindecision]

Just sharing my favorite female example of this trope. I don’t think this show would get made today :/

[thepersonalispoliticalsworld]

Men do, in fact, owe freedom to the women of this world. Your mothers and grandmothers suffered, sacrificed, and fought to ensure their daughters would never again be viewed as mere vessels or property.

You stand on the shoulders of a century of hard-won progress that you now take for granted.

Giving up, throwing it all away, and reducing women back to their biological functions all so you can maintain a fragile and outdated hierarchy is an act of generational betrayal and intellectual cowardice.

[hmsindecision]

I cannot tell you how may generations of women that created me would weep with joy to see how free I am. A woman who chooses herself over children is choosing to purge a great injustice in the only way she can: by not becoming another victim.

Men like this are so small minded they cannot conceive of a lineage of grandmothers and grandmothers and grandmothers and grandmothers who yearned for everything I have. This is for them.