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@hollanov-trenches
I’m gonna start to count how many people I’ve successfully gotten to watch HE bc this is now my god given mission
4
(For now. But we persist)
Its actually wild so many people promised they would watch it but if I don’t actually sit their asses down they simply don’t. So, potential people
5
(We pray and hope)
And finally, people I know who have watched it without me telling them
5
(Thank god for them)
Everyone sees a post-retirement Shane meltdown coming a mile away unless they find something to fill the hockey shaped hole in his brain, and someone casually throws out Brazilian Jiu Jitsu and Shane figures well why not, can’t hurt to go to one class and see how it feels
He goes in and immediately, day one, gets his ass absolutely handed to him. Slammed to the ground, choked out, beat to shit, no rest no mercy the entire time and he LOVES it. Getting pushed and tested, needing to figure out strategy, fully working his muscles and getting thrown around. He comes home bruised and sore and can’t wait to go back
Ilya isn’t super sure at first about his husband getting recreationally beat up, especially after going to a practice early on and getting nauseous from watching people choking Shane and purposely putting him in so much pain he’s forced to tap out. The spouse of another person at the gym says to wait a few months before trying to watch again
But after a while he starts regularly hearing Shane laughing and Anya happy barking from other parts of the house, and walking in to find the two playfully wrestling around. Or when they watch the Pike kids they all want turns to get flipped around and wrestled by uncle Shane
And then of course one day Shane texts Ilya saying he wants Ilya to help him learn a triangle submission, and he adds a winky face and Ilya is just ??? Ok? I guess? But then he looks one up and well. That sure. Uh. That sure would be his husbands big strong sweaty thighs locked around his head and you know maybe he shouldn’t be too hasty to judge this hobby
Very soon Ilya is looking up moves for them to “practice” and he starts to see the appeal of his big strong husband being able to manhandle him and also anyone else. When he finally goes to watch another practice he sees Shane taking down guys six inches taller and fifty pounds heavier with ease and no actually so sorry they can’t go out to eat with everyone afterwards he needs to get his hot sweaty husband home immediately
The hockey world struggles to hide how pissed they are the first time Shane wins a tournament because of course he can’t retire normally and had to go and become the best at something else, specifically something that means he could beat the shit out of any of them if he wanted
hello ilya 🥰 / ?
A headcanon of mine is that the only pet name Shane uses for Ilya is "Baby" but it is very uncommon he uses it.
He just calls him "Ilya" because for him it's the best name in the world (and it took them so long to finally call each other by their names) and he says it with the most loving tone and treassures his name with all his heart because that is the name of the person that he loves and of the purest and kindest soul he knows
rookie and his captain
Benjamin Roy (J.J.) on Instagram | August 10, 2026
🤠🤠🤠🤠🤠
Link
never not thinking about Shane's big ass smile and crinkly eyes here! he's so happy!!
I wonder how much of the dislike Ilya has for Hayden is the fact that Hayden can openly show affection for Shane without being questioned.
There is a level of homoeroticism that is allowed and even encouraged in many team sports, that would never be seen as heterosexual in any other setting. And Hayden, being Shane’s best friend, would be one of the main people Shane was participating in this kind of affection with.
There is of course the aspect of just being a menace but I also think the blowjob in the cottage read as Ilya staking a claim.
I think that Ilya was a little…nervous is not the right word, but hesitant to bring up the fact he got an STD panel done a week before leaving for the cottage. And printed it out. And brought it in his suitcase. He’s hesitant because Shane actually asked to be fucked raw early into their situationship.
And it was Ilya who shut that down because he was scared Shane might try that with other people and get sick.
While it was definitely not his place and a little unfair to say while fucking him, Ilya had said, “you never, fucking ever let anyone fuck you raw, you understand? People are fucking liars, you don’t let anyone fuck you raw unless you are with them. Do you understand me, Hollander?”
Shane never brought it up again.
But now Ilya was going to bring it up. And that meant, if Hollander even remembered his desperate command from years ago, that he considered himself ‘with’ Hollander. Or at least, he wanted to be.
It paid off when Hollander looked at the paper and said, “Oh good. I got mine done a couple weeks ago. I don’t have it printed but I can pull it up on the computer if you want to see.”
i know shane saying really? really??? is so cute and sweet bc of how pleased he is but also him going “i haven’t either” like there was any doubt about that just bc ilya was a little embarrassed and he wanted to make him feel better SWEETIEPIE SHANEYYYYYYYYY
“sveta, can you please stop showing me photos of my husband’s calvin klein campaign? i know what he looks like” ilya says after the fifth photo svetlana has shown him and svetlana goes “ilya you’re so lucky, how do you just wake up to this every day?” and ilya asks “do you want my man?” and svetlana’s “you’re so lucky that shane is gay” and then a voice comes from the other side going “if shane were bisexual he would be with me to this day” and both ilya and svetlana look over at a very smug rose landry who opens the biggest grin on her face and takes a sip of her wine.
Beyond relieved to see more people criticizing RR's treatment of Shane in TLG. Like yes thank u we have to see past the thrill of getting a second season and remember that the source material for the second season is uhhhhhh Not Good. Like it's nice to know not everyone is rooting for a 1-to-1 adaptation of that shitass sequel lmao
ilya somehow managed to find the freakiest guy of them all who is also the most polite about it
shane will be like okay so i bought this rope i want you to use on me and it said to be careful because you could get rope burn if it's too tight but i kinda like when it hurts a little and i feel like i can't escape so just tie it as tight as you want i have a lotion for after so it should be fine also i really want that gag in my mouth we used last time...only if it's cool with you obviously, or we could just do something else, please tell me what you think :)
thinking about ilya kissing shane's hand over and over during the drive to his parents' house. gomez addams ass romantic ass loverboy ass
once in ottawa, ilya posts a photo of himself on a brand-new mattress, in a centaurs hoodie, hand on his chin, long legs sprawled out on the white fabric, a wide grin on his face.
his comment section blows up—it’s just a sponsored post, yet everyone is curious about who took the photo. ilya replies to his teammates’ teasing with a lot of winking emojis. the mattress company is stoked.
years later, after he and shane become public, this picture goes viral again. and ilya confirms that shane hollander was indeed the photographer that day.
the mattress company sends the most expensive and the largest mattress as a wedding gift to shane and ilya.
ilya somehow managed to find the freakiest guy of them all who is also the most polite about it
shane will be like okay so i bought this rope i want you to use on me and it said to be careful because you could get rope burn if it's too tight but i kinda like when it hurts a little and i feel like i can't escape so just tie it as tight as you want i have a lotion for after so it should be fine also i really want that gag in my mouth we used last time...only if it's cool with you obviously, or we could just do something else, please tell me what you think :)
After Shane and Ilya get married Ilya is so happy to finally change his pfp to be one of him and Shane. To piss Ilya off Hayden also changes his pfp to him and Shane. Cue different NHL players slowly changing their pfp to photos of them and Shane. It basically becomes and unspoken trend that when you enter the NHL you need to get a photo with Shane Hollander to change your pfp as a right of passage.
Shane joins in after months of this by making his pfp a pic of him and his reflection in the mirror.
