"To the gates of Hell"

Twitter | Ao3

[hollowfo1k]

Hot Cocoa for the Soul

completed, wilbur centric, hybrid au, twins duo

tw: mentions and depictions of child abuse

summary: “Mate? Are you okay?”

“Mhm!” Wilbur knows he answers too fast. He knows his voice is a bit too high pitched to be natural. “I’m fine. Thank you for waking me, I should head home now.”

He moves to pick up his bag but is stopped by pointed black feathers.

“Are you sure?”

Wilbur furrows his brow. Why does this man care so much? They don’t even know each other. “I’m sure, sir.”

The man eyes him for a moment. Wilbur tries to ignore the way he reminds him of Tommy. Finally the man folds his wings back and steps away from the door.

“If you say so. I’m Phil by the way. I’m at the university every day.”

How Wilbur ended up in the Craft household

[hollowfo1k]

and i breathe chapter one

multichapter, dsmp old guard au, incomplete, tommy centric, sbi, bench trio

tw: death, police brutality, guns, violence

Summary: Tommy always told people he was going to die in a cool way. Did he believe that? No, not one bit. In all honesty he thought he was going to pass away quietly in his sleep at the ripe old age of 89. Never in a million years did he think the thing to end him would be bullets to his heart.

Tommy finds out he can die but can't stay dead. Then he finds out there's an entire organization of people just like him, who have lived for millennia. And Tommy's just put them all in danger. Wonderful.

[hollowfo1k]

Friends In Odd Places Chapter I

DSMP Witcher AU, Multichapter, Technoblade centric

Summary: Such are the feelings of friendship. Born to perdure. Or, five times Technoblade was surprised to make a friend and the one time he wasn’t. 

[hollowfo1k]

Of All the Things of a Man’s Soul

Ranboo and Techno centric, found family, sbi, hybrid au, modern-ish,

tw: mentions of abuse, symptoms of abuse, mentions of blood

Summary: “Of all the things of a man's soul which he has within him, justice is the greatest good and injustice the greatest evil.”

“Plato.” Techno looks to Wilbur. Why is he quoting Plato?

“You did well, son.” Phil explains. “You might have saved him.”

Techno grunts, his head falling back into his hands. “I wish I didn’t have to.”

[hollowfo1k]

Book Review:

This is Where it Ends by Marieke Nijkamp

A large set of main characters with good diversity. A heartbreaking story about love, loss, grief, guilt, and relationships. Lots of depth in the characters. Really makes you think that you might not know people as well as you think you do. Overall a heart wrenching story.

Overall Rating: 

7/10; sometimes hard to follow characters and timeline. 

Read; March 15-16, 2021

[hollowfo1k]

For the first few weeks after we came here, my father would tell me the same thing every night: You can't always keep your loved ones with you. You can't always settle your life in one place. The world was made to change. But as long as you cherish the memories and make new ones along the way, no matter where you are, you'll always be at home.

This is Where it Ends by Marieke Nijkamp. Page 253, Chapter 23. 

[hollowfo1k]

First Lines

Untitled WIP

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Techno stood in front of the university’s library.

Untitled Au

In the world of social media it is hard to keep one’s identity a secret.

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas 

As soon as his last class is done Geralt books it back to his dorm room

Untitled Au

Jaskier is everyone’s favorite teacher, and that’s a fact.

Untitled WIP

Geralt is a quiet being. From the way he walks, to how he shows his emotions, to how he loves.

Untitled Au

“Uh, hey dad?”

Geralt lets out a small ‘hm’. When Ciri doesn’t answer immediately he looks up from his book.

Untitled Au

Jaksier first sees him at the back of a bar. He’s playing one of his newer songs, and the crowd doesn’t seem to enjoy it that much. Once he’s forced off the small stage he makes his way toward the stranger.

Untitled Captain America Au

Julian Alfred Panktraz, or Jaskier to his friends and family, is a Polish immigrant during the 1930’s.

Untitled WIP

The castle ship is quite this time of the day cycle. The stars and planets twinkle in the distance as they float along. Keith knows he should really be sleeping, but he can’t. He just can’t.

He Remembers 

It is lifetimes later when they meet again. In this life Jaksier is not human.

2AM Airport Adventure

Marinette Dupain-Cheng loved her life. She really did.

Drops of Blood

When Lance got home that day he thought he knew what to expect. Pidge would be on the couch, probably playing Assassin's Creed. Hunk would be in the recliner typing away on his laptop and making the occasional comment to Pidge. And Keith would be laying on the floor with Kosmo, reading his newest book. That’s how it was every Tuesday night.

Untitled Au

Lance wasn't sure what to think the day he got the call. Turns out he has a pair of grandparents on his father’s side. And they are extremely rich. Or they were.

Grey’s Anatomy Au

Eliza watches as people rush around the Pit, Peggy by her side.

“What do you think Theo will get Burr for his birthday?” Peggy asks curiously.

Kosmo the Cosmic Dragon

Lance was stressed as fuck. He was trying to relax on the patio of his house, watching the sunset in the distance.

I Guess Not

Zoe was walking. She didn’t know where, but that didn’t stop her.

Caramel Macchiato, Extra Vanilla, Extra Caramel, Add Whip?

If there's one thing that Lance hated, it was mornings. Sadly, the internship he landed had him in the office at 8 am every morning.

The Lady and the Prince

If you had told Adrien that he would spend his night trying to corral the drunk girl that broke into his apartment, he would have called you crazy.

La clé de votre cœur

The town buzzed with excitement at the news.

What Did He Do?

“Is this a game to you?” Race roared staring Spot down. They were standing on opposite sides of the living room, rage radiating from both of them.

Alright. I was tagged by @fix-the-skies Also the ones that are posted have links. But most of these aren't even finished. I’m going to tag @benandcompany @anoddconstellationofthoughts @astaticworld and @all-hail-the-witcher

[starspangledsteve1deac]

but like who started the idea that fanfiction writers are somehow bothered by enthusiasm for their work???? cause i see posts all the time like “do writers really want to talk with us about their fics? Do writers really want long comments? I dont want to bother them” and i just think its absolutely ridiculous????

ofc i want to talk to you about it, and would love to hear you go on about it. i took time out of my real life to write this stuff down so we could all share these characters!!! the idea that you’re bothering a fanfiction writer, a fellow nerd, is absolutely crazy

[mikkeneko]

Personally I attribute at least part of this to the shift of fandom onto Tumblr platform. Because of the way Tumblr works, multiple replies and reactions can get cluttered and overwhelming really fast, so leaving replies and feedback can be awkward. I have actually seen ‘tumblr etiquette’ posts going around scolding people for adding commentary onto posts when they reblog it! Actually discouraging  people from reacting and adding their own words!  If any of this attitude spills over onto fanfic posts and reblogs, no wonder readers are shy about adding their own words to an author’s posts.

Dear fans on tumblr: 

WE, THE AUTHORS, REALLY WANT TO HEAR YOUR COMMENTS. 

[kiragecko]

Popular tumblr blogs sometimes talk about what they think are annoying ways to interact with their posts. And I can see it - their posts get thousands of reblogs, that kind of response can be overwhelming - of course they prefer only a minority of people interact, and they do it in Approved Of ways.

And then, because they’re popular, a lot of people see that, reblog it, and think that their opinions should be The Rules Of Tumblr.

But smaller blogs interact with each other VERY differently.

Writing/Fanfic blogs want something very different from aesthetic blogs. Small meta blogs tend to adore people adding their own meta to a post. Social Justice blogs often think that responses dilute their message, but headcanon blogs frequently want validation and agreement!

Tumblr is never going to be a hivemind. It’s a lot like any other social setting. The more popular people may have stringent rules of social etiquette, but most people like chatting.

Talk to us! Add comments! Babble on in the tags! Make your own post in response if you think you’re derailing things, and At (@) the original poster so they can respond if they want to!

[hollowfo1k]

please!

[whitepeopletwitter]

[enjolred]

Me, opening AO3: let’s see if I can find a fic will give me the very specific high I need to go on living for another day

[hollowfo1k]

La clé de votre cœur

The town buzzed with excitement at the news. 

“Have you heard?”

“I know!”

“She finally made the announcement.” 

Everyone from the fish salesmen to the mayor knew what had happened. Everyone, except Adrien Agreste that is. He was completely and utterly lost. 

“What is everyone talking about?” Adrien asked Nino, his best friend. 

“You mean you don’t know?” Nino raised an eyebrow. 

“Should I?”

Nino sighed before leading his friend to the town square. 

“Nino! Adrien!” 

Nino led them to the fountain, where a woman with red hair and glasses sat. At her side stood a large orange fox. 

This must be the girl Nino is head over heels for. Adrien thought to himself. I don’t know anyone else that has a fox familiar. 

“Have you heard?” 

“I have, but it seems my friend here hasn’t.”

The red haired girl let out an offended gasp. 

“How do you not know?”

“I guess I’m not very caught up on all the gossip.”

»»——⍟——««

The woman, who later introduced herself as Alya, explained that the witch who lived at the edge of the woods finally announced that she would accept a sutor. The only catch? She would only accept the person who could unlock her door.

“How are they supposed to do that?”

Alya’s smile only widened. “I was hoping you would ask that. There is a blue eyed black cat that lives around her cottage. The cat wears a red collar with a sparkly silver key attached.” 

“So if they can catch the cat and get the key, they can unlock her door.” Adrien smiled. 

Clever. 

“Exactly. There seems to be a problem, however…”

Adrien and Nino leaned closer to Alya as she paused, eager to hear what she had to say next. 

“In the few hours since the announcement was made no one has been able to even touch the cat.”

Adrien frowned. There was a solution to this, he knew there was. And he was ready to figure it out. 

»»——⍟——««

He couldn’t figure it out. After months of trying only one person has gotten close to catching the cat. Felix Agreste had the cat in his arms, but it escaped before he could get the key.

“You should go try.” Nino said to Adrien one day. They were sitting on the outer wall of his house watching the sunrise.

“I don’t know. There are some extremely clever people in our village. Not even they could get the key. What makes you think I can?”

An innocent smile graced Nino’s face. “Just trust me.”

That afternoon after stopping at the bakery Adrien made his way towards the woods. There stood a simple cottage. Smoke puffed from the chimney and flowers bloomed on the bushes.

“This is nice.” Adrien said to himself.

Slowly, he looked around, but there was no cat in sight. 

Adrien let out a huff and dropped onto the low wall by the gate of the cottage. He thought of his mother’s familiar cat. Reading a book always seemed to attract the wily beast when he was a child. 

With a smile Adrien reached into his bag and pulled out a book. No better way to attract a cat than act as if you don’t care.

»»——⍟——««

Adrien must have leaned on that wall for hours before he tore his eyes away from the book. He jumped slightly with a yelp when his eyes landed on the creature before him. 

Across the gate, on the other wall sat a blue eyed black cat with a red collar. Adrien smiled softly and sent an internal thank you to his mother. 

“Hello.” Adrien said to the cat, softly. The cat simply tilted its head, as if it were confused. 

“My name is Adrien. I live here in the village. I work with my father as a tailor.” He paused. How do you talk to something that can’t talk back?

“You’re very pretty.” He tried. He wasn’t lying. The cat’s fur looked almost blue in the evening sun. 

The cat, though very slowly, stood up and took a few steps towards him. Adrien simply smiled and looked away, deciding to dig through his bag instead. 

“I don’t know what you eat, but I went to a bakery for lunch and had some leftover macaroons.” 

Adrien unwraps the small pink pastry. The cat’s slitted pupils immediately round out and suddenly the cat is at his side, munching on the food.

Adrien glances down. He could easily grab the key. It wouldn’t be that hard to just swipe it while the cat was distracted. 

That’s not very fair though, is it? 

Once the cat finished the macaroon it sat down, tail curled around its feet. It’s tongue darted out of its mouth to lick at its lips.

Adrien laughed and grabbed another wrapped up pastry. He got up from his spot on the wall and placed the pastry in his spot. 

“There ya go.” 

The cat watched with thoughtful eyes as Adrien made his way back towards the village.

»»——⍟——««

Thus a routine was born. Every other day Adrien would visit the Witch’s cottage and meet the cat. He would bring various types of foods and sweets for the small creature. After two weeks the cat let him touch her. 

He had been leaning on the inside of the wall, tucked away from the intense sun in the grass, when the cat curled up on the side of his leg. Adrien lowered his book slightly to see the cat with her eyes half lidded, the silver key just within reach. The thought crossed his mind. But he simply kept reading. 

The week after that the cat crawled in his lap while he was reading. She stared at the words as if trying to read along with him. With a small smile Adrien started to read out loud. The cat seemed to enjoy the story. 

Occasionally Adrien would hear more gossip from Nino or Alya of another person failing to catch the cat. 

“Have you come close to catching it yet?” Alya asked one day while they were out for lunch. They were waiting for her friend, Marinette.

“I haven’t tried.” He told them with a smile. 

“What are you guys talking about?” The trio turned to see Marinette.

Adrien couldn’t help but stare. She was gorgeous. 

The red sundress with black spots reminded Adrien of a ladybug. A red choker rested at the base of her neck.

“Just your cat.” Alya said with a wink. 

Adrien could have sworn his jaw hit the floor.

This is the woman who everyone wants to marry?! 

“Ah yes. Tikki. I love her to death but I wish she would spend more time inside.” 

Marinette turned her attention towards Adrien. A light pink dusted her cheeks while a smile made its way onto her lips. 

“Hey. I’m Marinette, nice to meet you.” 

He was frozen. This woman was amazing!

He only regained his senses when a sharp elbow to his side reminded him that her hand was still being held out. 

Adrien shook her hand with as much strength as he could muster. “Adrien.”

The smile she gave him almost made him melt on the stop.

“It’s so nice to be out and about. I’ve been cooped up for so long.” 

The rest of the afternoon went swimmingly. 

The four of them walked around the village and through the different shops. Adrien got over the initial shock of just how amazing Marinette is and had the time of his life with her. By sunset Alya and Nino decided to call it a night and made their way back to their house.

“Can I walk you home?” Adrien asked, holding out an arm.

“Merci, Adrien.”

The walk was comfortable. Adrien never wanted her to let go of his arm. 

“Well here we are.” 

“I had a wonderful time today. Even if that guy did try to propose to you.”

Marinette laughed and shook her head. 

“I’ll see you again, I hope?” She asked opening her gate and walking to the other side.

“Anytime you want.” Adrien took her hand in his and brushed a kiss on her knuckles. “My Lady.”

»»——⍟——««

The next morning the Adrien was on his way to the toadstool circle to gather supplies for a spell when he saw her. 

Tikki was sitting on a tree stump with her tail wrapped around her legs. 

“Hello Tikki.” Adrien told the cat. “Are you having a good morning?” He tipped his pointed hat in an over-exaggerated gesture. 

The cat blinked her eyes slowly. 

“Well, that’s good. Is there anything I can help you with?”

The cat nodded her head. Adrien took the hat off his head and sat in front of the cat.

“What is it?” 

There was a glimmer in the cat’s eyes and she puffed out her chest, making the silver key catch the light.

“They key?” Adrien tilted his head to the side, much like she did on their first meeting.

Tikki nodded again. 

“What do you want me to do with it?” 

The cat huffed and let out a squeaky meow. She puffed out her chest again.

As though he was slapped in the head Adrien seemed to understand.

Tikki wanted him to take the key!

With hesitant motions he reached forward and took the key. The metal was cool in his palm. 

In the blink of an eye and a flash of pink light Tikki was gone. In her place sat Marinette, wearing a simple pink dress and the red choker.

“Congrats. It seems we’re to be wed.” 

“Marinette?” Adrien stumbled back.

“The one and only!”

“You’re a Feraformis?” 

Marinette smirked and rolled her eyes. “You’re a silly kitty. Of course i am.”

A light bulb lit above Adrien’s head. 

“That’s why no one was able to catch Tikki!”

“Exactly. I didn’t want to marry just anyone with a wand and some tuna. The person i wanted to marry had to be clever enough to realize you have to let a cat come to you, patient enough to wait as long as it took, and kind enough to wait for the right moment.” 

“And you think that’s me?”

Marinette helped Adrien from the forest floor. She dusted off his green cloak with a smile. “I don’t think so Adrien. I know so.”

Adrien pulled Marinette into a hug, resting his chin on her head as she wrapped her arms around his waist.

“We should probably tell Alya and Nino about this shouldn’t we?” 

Marinette winced but chuckled nonetheless. 

“I guess so. Let’s go, I hear there’s a great bakery on the way.” 

[honeyboychangbin]

Sentence Starters

“I’ve never seen one of these completely to my taste so i decided to make my own!

ANGST

“I can’t do anything right.”

“Please don’t cry.”

“Why are you awake right now?”

“Why are you lying to me?”

“Wake up! Please wake up.”

“Forget it, you’re a fucking asshole.”

“Don’t you ever do that again!”

“Is that blood?” “…..No?”

“Please don’t lie to me again, I can’t take it.”

“Do you even still love me?”

“Nobody’s seen you in days.”

“Why are you awake?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“Can you shut up for once in your life?”

“Holding everything in doesn’t help, you know.”

“Are you hurt?” “No.” “Then why are there bruises all over your face?”

“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.”

“Leave! Me! Alone!”

FLUFF

“Go with me?” “As long as you hold my hand.”

“Is there a reason you’re blushing like that?” 

“Have you seen my hoodie?” “Nooo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

“Have you always been this beautiful?”

“OH you’re jealous!”

“Can we stay like this forever?”

“Please just kiss me already.”

“I think you might be my soulmate.”

“Sleep over? Please?”

“Are we on a date right now?”

“I think I’m in love with you.”

“He’s so pretty I think I’m gonna faint.”

“Are you flirting with me?” “You finally noticed?”

“Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

“I missed you so much.”

“Do you think the moon is jealous of how pretty you are?”

“I’m here for you.”

“I wish we could live together already.”

MISC

“All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

“Quit touching me, your feet are cold!”

“I think I just ripped my pants.”

“Sharing is caring, now give me the hoodie!”

“Can I pet your dog?” “Do I know you?”

“Did you seriously just get your foot stuck in a toilet?” “Maybe.”

“If I die, I’m haunting you first.”

“But I’ve never told you that before.” 

“Stop being grumpy, it’s lame.”

“So, uh, I locked the keys in the car.”

“Is the cat in a onesie?” “Uh, no?

“Can we please stop running? I think I’m dying.”

“You come here often?” “Well, I work here. So I think I’d have to say ‘yes’.”

“Aren’t we supposed to be working?”

“Give me attention.”

“YOU SAID TO BE HONEST STOP HITTING ME!”

“Okay, so maybe I didn’t see that coming.”

“I’m too sober for this.” “You don’t even drink.” “Maybe I should start.”

[elmerss0cks-deactivated20190618]

Request stuff if you wanna

[theliteraryarchitect]

Writing Advice Posts: A Handy Reference Guide

(Updated 5/19/18) Hey all, I’ve got quite a few writing advice posts & answered Asks on my blog at this point, so I’m making this reference guide to make it easier to find what you’re looking for. Hope it helps!

General

8 Ways to Improve Your Writing

10 Best Books About Writing Fiction

How to Spot Bad Writing Advice: 6 Red Flags to Look For

“Show Don’t Tell”? Not Always. Here’s When to Use Summary

How to start a story

More about starting stories

The first sentence

The Writing Process, Writer’s Block, & Inspiration

How to Train Yourself to Write Faster

Just a friendly reminder that creativity is difficult to quantify.

Quick Writing Tip: Make a Note to Your Future Self in Your WIP

Quick Writing Tip: Take Notes!

Just a friendly reminder that writing is not always a linear process.

Quick Cure for Writer’s Block: Lower Your Expectations

Set Realistic Goals

Your Skills May Need Time to Catch Up to Your Vision

It’s Okay to Experiment and Be Weird As Fuck

Surround Yourself With Supporters

It’s okay to take a break.

Your First Draft is Raw Material

Getting into “The Zone”

Vomit Brain

Writing from Your Imagination vs. Reality

Dealing with Criticism

Getting Bored with Your Own Writing

Getting past a block

Doing research on topics you don’t have first-hand experience with

Journalling about your writing

Character Development

Creating Character Arcs with the DCAST Method

What Does Your Main Character Want?

How to Activate Your Passive Characters, One Verb at a Time

How to Use Description to Show Character Development

How to Create a Non-Cliched First-Meeting Scene

The “It Depends” Post

Shifting internal goals

When to identify your character’s goal

Writing about normal people with normal problems

If you’re worried about your character being too similar to someone else’s character 

Describing your characters without messing up your pacing

Story, Plot, & Pacing

Quick Plotting Tip: Write Your Story Backwards

Pause at the Threshold

Slowing Down the Pace of Your Story Without Boring Your Reader

Time Transitions

Creating Conflict

When & how to cut a scene

If you’re good at creating characters but awful at creating plot

When you’ve plotted your story but can’t get started

En Media Res

Writing to Your Ideal Reader

Deus Ex Machina

Foreshadowing

Finding an Ending

What to write between moments of conflict

Starting a story with waking-up scene

Description, Setting, & Worldbuilding

How to Make Your Descriptions Less Boring

How to Spot an “Info-dump”

Adding Descriptions to Intense Scenes Without Messing Up Your Story’s Flow

How to Use Description to Show Character Development

Worldbuilding: How much is too much?

Modeling your fantasy world from stuff in the real world

Internal Consistency

Point of View

How to Choose the Right Point of View for Your Story

A Beginner’s Guide to Multiple Point of View

6 Questions to Ask About Your Point of View

How to decide if you should use first person or third person

More point of view basics

Head hopping

Dialogue

How to Improve Your Dialogue

3 Ways to Make Your Dialogue More Interesting

Starting a story with dialogue

Are You Using Too Much Stage Direction?

Publishing & Sharing Your Work

7 Tips to Build an Audience for Your Writing

Pros and Cons of Self Publishing

Quick Publishing Tip: Don’t Bury Your Gold

How to Properly Format Your Manuscript for Publication

A warning about posting writing online that you intend to publish later

Advice for writers who are worried about people stealing their work or ideas

Getting feedback on your writing

Editing

Quick Revision Tip: Read Your Writing Out Loud

How to Keep Yourself From Editing As You Write

Cut the fidgeting

Are you suffering from -ing disease?

Are you Using Too Much Stage Direction?

What “Editing” Really Means

Quick Editing Tip: “That”

Quick Revision Tip: Read Faster

Editing Tip: Dialogue

Tips for Editing a Story

Free Resource Library Downloads

All of these PDFs are available to download in my Free Resource Library.

Creating Character Arcs Workbook

Point of View Cheatsheet

Dialogue Checklist

Setting Checklist

Questions to Ask Before Hiring an Editor Printable Checklist

Proper Manuscript Format Printable Checklist

Short Story & Novel Submission Templates

…if you find any broken links please let me know and I will fix them! xo

*I recently changed the name of my blog. All of these links should work, but if you come across a “Bucket Siler has moved!” page when clicking on a link inside an old post, there’s an easy way to find what you’re looking for: In the url, delete “bucketsiler,” write “theliteraryarchitect,” then hit return. Also, let me know about it & I will fix it :)

[noamchimpsky]

anyone else having a…hmm. what’s the word? Really Shit Time? 

[hollowfo1k]

What Did He Do?

TW: Death, Blood, Fighting, Shade 

Ship: Sprace, One sided Ralbert

Requested: This was my piece for Mine and @booksbroadwayandbagels Angst Off! Stay tuned for the Ultimate Angst Off to determine who the Queen of Angst is one and for all! Between myself and @well-the-kids-do-too

“Is this a game to you?” Race roared staring Spot down. They were standing on opposite sides of the living room, rage radiating from both of them.

“What do you fucking think?” Spot scoffed crossing his arms.

“At this point,” Race said standing up straighter, “I don’t even know.”

A look of betrayal crossed Spot’s face before the anger returned. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“I donno, Sean! Maybe it means you refuse to let me in! I just want to help you. I don’t remember the last time you talked to me!” I’m talking to you right now.” Spot’s voice was suddenly low and quiet.

“Maybe, but you’re not listening. You’re not listening to me. I’m trying to talk to you.”

“I’m listening Tony. I am.”

It was quiet for the first time in the last hour.

“I just want to love you.” Race whispered finally. Tears were rolling down his cheek, reflecting the setting sun from the window.

“I’m not stopping you.” Race had never heard Spot so quiet, and that just made him angrier.

“Yes you are! We used to be perfect! We used to be the it couple, Spot! Even straight people wanted to be us! What happened?”

“Nothing happened.” It wasn’t convincing.

“You started pulling away. You wouldn't kiss me, or hug me, let alone touch me. I don’t understand!” Race was screaming again, rivers of tears streaming down his face.

“You shouldn’t want to understand!” Spot screamed back, now just as angry.

“You should never want to know what is in my head! Someone like you couldn’t handle it.”

“Someone like me?” Race asked in surprise. “That’s not what I meant.” Spot tried to protest.

“What did you meant then? I’ve been through hell and back to be with you. I’ve been beaten, assaulted, hell I almost fucking died for you Spot! I could be dead! I’ve given you everything Sean. And what do i get in return? A broken glass?” Race gestured to the shattered glass the littered the middle of the living room. The thing that started all of this. “A broken heart?”

Spot looked at the wall ashamed. He never meant for this to happen. For any of this to happen.

“I can’t keep living like this, Sean.” Race whispered. His voice, along with his soul, shattered at the end.

And what came next was the final blow.

“Then leave.”

Those two words changed Race’s life. And ended it.

“Wish I had never met you.”

Race watched at Spot took a step back in shock. Spot regretted the words as soon as he said them, but by the time he tried to take it back the front door was slamming close.

Spot stood for what could have been ten minutes or five hours, he wasn’t sure. The sky was dark by the time he moved.

It was sudden, like Atlas had dropped the weight of the world onto his shoulders.

He crumpled to the ground, knees digging into the glass that had been broken only hours before. He could barely feel the pain in his legs, that of his heart was too overwhelming.

Spot feared that he may have just thrown away everything. Everything he has worked towards. Everything he has built. And everything he has loved. All thrown away by one badly placed comment. Or, maybe it was more than that. Maybe things had been going wrong for a while, but he was so caught up in his head that he didn’t even notice.

Spot didn’t think it couldn’t get any worse.  Boy, was he mistaken.

It had to have been a few hours since Race had left. Spot was pacing the kitchen, not having bothered with the glass and blood in the living room. His phone rang and he stopped dead in his tracks.

Spot lunged to the device and answered, not even checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” He asked frantically.

“Hello, is this Sean Conlon?” A stoic female voice asked.

“This is him.”

“I’m calling from Manhattan Central Hospital.”

And Spot thought that nothing else could break his heart.

“There’s been an accident.”

“What happened?”

“Antonio was helping the victims of a three car collision when-” The woman paused, not sure how to continue. “He was involved in a hit and run.”

Was. Was. No. Nononononononono-

“He was pronounced dead at the scene.”

Spot almost didn’t go to the funeral. Race wouldn’t have wanted everyone to make such a fuss over him. In the end it was David who convinced him to go.

Race always talked about how he wanted his funeral to be fun. To be a celebration of his life. But, that wasn’t what happened. No one could bear to celebrate when something so horrible had happened.

It shouldn't have ended like this.  Spot kept repeating the words in his head. He died thinking you hated him. You told him to leave!

He didn’t say anything until the service had ended. It was pouring rain. Spot was standing next to the grave, tears mixing with the storm. The weather seemed fitting.

Spot heard footsteps behind him but didn’t move. He couldn’t. Those last words still ring in his ears. I can’t live like this.

“It’s getting late.” Spot recognized the voice immediately. Albert, Race’s best friend. “You’re going to get sick if you stand out here any longer.”

“I don’t care.” Spot mumbled, still staring at the headstone.

Antonio Shea Higgins

1997-2018

Beloved Son, Brother, Teacher, Friend, and Boyfriend.

“I wish I could take it all back.” Spot was angry with himself. This was all his fault.

“Spot-”

“I could have saved him!” Spot was yelling but he didn’t care.

“You couldn’t have done anything, Spot!” Albert was yelling too. His black umbrella long forgotten. “Would you get over yourself?”

“Get over myself?” Spot roared in shock. :The love of my life is dead! Fucking dead! And my last words to him were “Leave”! You don’t know what I’m going through!”

“I love him too!” Albert screamed. Spot stopped cold.

“I loved him too.” it was quieter this time. Spot watched as Albert took a deep breath and stood up straight. When he spoke next his voice was calm and even, which hurt more than yelling.

“You got everything i ever wanted. And what did you do? You threw it all away for your own giant ego. So yeah, get over yourself Sean. You’re not special.”

As Spot watched Albert walk away his heart was crushed to dust.

What did he do?

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[hollowfo1k]

A Ring of Silver

Summary: Spot comes home with a surprise for Race. 

Ship: Sprace 

TW: none 

Tag: Pure fluff 

Requested: Nopeeee

Race was pacing. He knew he was. But, he couldn’t stop. He had tried about an hour ago but his leg just kept bouncing too much.

Spot was coming home. Spot was coming home!

He could almost cry from happiness at just the idea. But, Race wouldn’t do that. He made a deal with himself that he wouldn’t cry until, at least, he actually saw Spot.

Race checked his phone again. 3:55 AM.

The plane is supposed to touch down at four. Race could scream he was so excited. Fucking scream!

“Are you waiting for the 107th too?” Race turned to see a woman sitting in a chair, a tennager with a small child in her lap next to her.

“Yeah. My boyfriend. You?” He asked.

The woman patted the seat next to her and Race was glad to have a distraction.

“My wife. This is the third time she’s been deployed, and hopefully the last.”

Race couldn’t help the smile.

“Are these your kids?” He asked motioning to the asleep kids beside the woman.

The woman let out a little laugh. “Yeah. That’s Zoe, she’s 16. and that’s Zander he’s 7.”

“They’re beautiful.” Race chuckled. The kids looked like the woman, blonde hair, button nose, tan skin.

As Race looked at the kids he couldn’t help but want something like that. He wants a life with Spot. He wants a family with Spot.

“My name is Amanda, by the way.” Said the woman pushing her glasses up with her shoulder.

“I’m Antonio.”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you Antonio.”

Race was about to answer when the door to the tunnel opened. Race jumped up to his feet, along with Amanda.

People started pouring out of the doorway. Most of them in uniforms but some were in civilian clothes.

Race watched as a tall woman with black hair ran and picked up Amanda, spinning her around and kissing her. Zoe and Zander woke up and ran towards the woman, both screaming “MOM!”

Race turned back to the tunnel and a smile on his face.

The smile was replaced with tears as Race finally saw him.

There he was. Spot. All (usually) scowling 5’4 of him.

Race couldn’t stop himself. He ran forward and plowed into Spot.

Tears were in both of their eyes as they clung to each other.

“Don’t- don’t you dare! Ever- leave me- again!” Race whispered in between sobs.

“Don’t ever plan on it.” Race let out another shaky breath and pulled away just enough to look at Spot. To really look at him.

“I haven’t been gone that long Tony.”

“You’ve been gone over a year Sean. And that’s enough time for me to think about how much I love you. God, I fucking love you Sean. So fucking much.”

Race pulled Spot’s face toward his and kissed him. It had been 14 months and 12 days since they last did this. And in Race’s opinion, that was too damn long.

“I’ve been thinking too.” Spot said once they pulled away.

“About what?” Race asked taking in the sight of Spot.

“About how much I love you. About the mornings when I wake up and see your mop of golden hair next to me. Of how pretty those blue eyes of yours are. About life. And about how I want something like that.”

Race let go to turn around and see what he was motioning to. He saw Amanda and her wife covering their mouths and Zoe recording him with a shit eating grin.

He turned back around to see Spot on the floor on one knee.

Race’s hands flew to his mouth, a new wave of tears spilling from his eyes.

“Antonio Shea Higgins. I have loved you since I saw you trip on that stage in high school. And i will always love you. Would you do me the honor, of becoming my husband, so we can show the world how much I love you? And to prove Jack and Albert wrong?”

Race let out a little laugh between the sobs.

“Yes. Yes. Oh my god yes. A million times yes!”

Spot stood up and hugged Race again. Cheers of the other people roared through the air.

Spot pulled away and slipped the silver band onto Race’s left hand. Race looked down at the band to see a small wave engraved on it.

“Is that-?” He started.

“A wave? Yeah. The guy at the shop suggested it, after all Higgins means ‘viking or sea rover’. I thought that it was fitting.”

“You got me a ring in Ireland?” Race asked quietly.

“Well, yeah. The whole time I was there I couldn't stop thinking of you. You and your beautiful Irish-Italian heritage,”

Race buried his face in Spot’s ugly ass green uniform.

“I hate you.”

“Why?”

“Because you left for Afghanistan, and now you’re back, but, you’re just making me cry!”

“Well,” Spot said with a fond smile, “How ‘bout we go back home and stay in bed all day. And the go to dinner with Mama and Jack and Davey and Albert and all our friends and family?”

Race pressed a long kiss to Spot’s lips.

“You don’t even know how much I love that idea.”