zzy

back on this fucking website AGAIN they/he || 22 || aus || homotron3000

[homoeroticcigarette]

Will Give Head For Treats (Apparently)

He was teasing him, Hollander knew full well what Ilya wanted from him. He just wanted to hear him say it.

And because Ilya wanted, apparently, to be a good dog, he obeyed.

(Or: Ilya starts cleaning up his media presence for Shane. Shane is impressed by his obedience, and they see how much further this new thing can go)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/78149886

(back on my bullshit, here's my first published fic in years. please enjoy)

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

#know your fandom history

[awfulsweettobealittlebutterbi]

Ilya and Shane are watching game tape and both taking notes (Ilya because it's his responsibility as Captain and Shane because his soul feels ItchyTM if he doesn't), when Shane notices that Ilya is just doodling loops on his page instead of taking this seriously 😠 Even with both of them on the same team, they've lost a couple games this season and they need to lock in!! 😠

This is how Shane learns what Russian cursive looks like and that Ilya takes game notes in Russian cursive

[redstonedust]

i dont see it as much these days but im fond of the thing where people imply characters have had sex by just. drawing them in eachother clothes. and everyone understands the implication of this as if outfit swapping is a default and expect part of the post-sex experience.

[coyoteshane]

I think Shane has a reoccurring fantasy of him doing yoga or woking out and Ilya just pushing him down on his yoga mat or the floor, pushing down bis shorts and just taking him right then and there

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

some people will be like “I wonder why fanfic writers don’t share their works anymore😔” and then this is them when a writer is kind enough to share something they write — as a hobby, for their own enjoyment — with them for free.

some people really don’t realize how privileged they are that they get fanfics for free. imagine having access to something for free because someone is kind enough to share it with you… and then being rude, entitled and an ungrateful pos to that person who was kind enough to share their creation with you for free

“almost 1 year is a lil too much for me” fuck off. fanfic writers don’t owe you anything. one of my favorite fics was updated after 13 years, and what I did is that I thanked the author for choosing to continue the work, I didn’t act like a spoiled toddler by asking why they didn’t update sooner. and even if a writer chooses to abandon their fic permanently with no explanation, that is their choice, their hobby, their decision. they don’t owe your entitled ass anything.

you people let tiktok rot your brains to the point you see everything as content farm and engagement. not a piece of art created by the artist’s love and passion. it’s dystopian.

[wyatthazy]

never doubt ilya knows how the staff likes to be treated after all these years

[mutinsfromthemoon]

yuna is rearranging the living room and picking up shane’s childhood pictures to put them in a new order. she notices that one is missing and she knows exactly which one because it’s one of her favorite pictures of shane, him smiling brightly at the camera with a missing tooth. she sighs and picks up her phone to call ilya and he picks up on the third ring greeting her “hello, yuna” and she says “ilya, dear, i’m afraid you have something mine” and ilya goes “what is it?” and she replies “one of shane’s childhood picture” and ilya goes “yuna, you know i love you like a mother, yes?” and she’s like “yes, dear, i know” and ilya keeps going “i’m not returning this photo” and yuna snorts “ilya, this one is my favorite” and ilya’s like “it’s mine too” and she says “if you return it to me, i promise i’ll make a copy of every single one you like” and ilya goes “you promise?” and yuna says “i promise”. weeks later ilya is sitting there with a copy of the entire photo album.

[argillaforma]

ilya at their first hookup: i love casual sex and being casual, his yearning bottom eyes and sweet demeanor does not affect me at all

ilya at their first time anal event, with shane staring lovingly into his eyes and giving him tender forehead kisses: wait wAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT-

[cottagehillsunset]

The Raiders are sitting in the airport lounge, waiting for their flight to board after their game against Montreal. And right accross from them is one of those big posters from Shane's Reebok campagne. Ilya is playing a game on his phone (no, it's not to distract him from the giant Shane Hollander picture right in front of him, obviously not). Meanwhile Cliff looks at the Reeboks - they do look kinda nice, he has to admit - and then down to his own sneakers, which are a bit ratty and he could defnitely do with buying a new pair. And he's thinking about how convenient it must be to be sponsored by a shoe brand because it saves you the hassle of having to reaplace your old shoes. Hollander probably gets sent a new pair every couple of months whether he needs them or not. And wouldn't that be amazing.

"Maybe I should pull a Hollander", Cliff mutters to himself, thinking about how to best get an Adidas or Nike sponsorship or something.

Next to him Ilya almost gives himself whiplash with how fast his head snaps up and he barely manages to not drop his phone because Cliff what do you mean pull a Hollander there are no Hollanders to pull, Yuna and David are happily married and Shane is his boyfriend Cliff which Hollander are you trying to pull here-

[galaxydreamstories]

[upset-to-dead]

Role Model but it's exactly the same except Harris only has a fuckass beanbag chair in his office (other than his desk chair) so when Troy hangs out with him he's just sunk into the beanbag chair, slouched to all hell with his long ass legs bent up to his ears. And Harris feels so bad bc Troy is just kind of sitting there miserably and so Harris gets a regular chair for him to sit in. But Troy comes in and walks straight to the beanbag chair and slumps into it.

[naturalpr3y]

Like come onnnnnn

[oiimoi]

I'm picturing it is a post tlg centaurs' party and Shane is tired and wants to go home so he's a little snippy but nothing major really, so in response Ilya pulls a spray bottle out of his bag. And Shane goes well shit (full of joy) I made him mad (what ever will he do...), and they're both making eyes at each other getting excited for some light public humiliation tpe discipline in their friends' living room, when Troy sees it at goes lol why do you have that?? shit you're not gonna spray someone are you haha. So Ilya decides to defuse the situation because he doesn't want Shane to be embarrassed (like this) so he goes Yeah fuck you and sprays Troy in the face with it. Everyone else is laughing, including Troy, because silly Ilya being an asshole, meanwhile Shane is trying not to cry because that's his spray bottle that was his punishment his humiliation and Troy stole it all, it's not even special anymore it wouldn't even be embarrassing for Ilya to spray him it wouldn't even mean anything and it wouldn't be special the things Ilya does to Shane aren't even special they're things he does to everyone. In the end its fine because while Shane's having his internal meltdown Ilya sneaks up behind him unscrews the nozzle and dumps the rest of the water over Shane's head and everyone is shocked but still laughs, and Ilya takes Shane to their car still sopping wet and tells him that was a double punishment for being snippy and for forgetting he was Ilya's special boy.

[hollanov-ann]

[cephalopodie]

troy barret's guide to flirting

bring him coffee

walk his dog

ask about being hate crimed

run away

[keasusreevsus]

Yes I DO think Ilya and Shane intentionally go into stores and find something to get into an argument about so they can drop their shopping in the middle of an aisle and race back home to fuck about it

[keasusreevsus]

They are literally giggling to themselves in the parking lot about all the shit they're gonna yell at each other before they walk into the store. This is all premeditated!

[keasusreevsus]

They don't always make it back home btw. There's plenty of occasions where they're caught stumbling out of the family restroom haphazardly thrown back together before carrying on with their shopping trip

[vesnuszki]

There is a reason at some point they get tinted windows in the back of the jeep. And they get asked about it once like why would they have these custom adjusted if no one ever rides in the back seats and Shane’s face goes kind of pink and Ilya’s like is a sex thing sorry )))))

[tinylilhollander]

Shane's definitely cum all over that MLH game box, right? There's no way Shane bought the Rozanov cover specifically, took it all the way to his secret little cottage, and didn't jerk himself off right over it, imagining Ilya forcing Shane to have his dick sucked on centre ice in front of everyone.

Like, he cleans it thoroughly after, but for just a moment he gets to see Ilya in full Raiders gear, covered in his cum, and it's the hottest fucking thing in the world.

[mojoscircus]

Headcanon that Shane doesn’t drink just because of his diet, but because he’s absolutely terrified he will tell everyone how much he misses Ilya Rozanov and how good a kisser Ilya Rozanov is and how much of a sex god Ilya Rozanov is and how amazing at giving head Ilya Rozanov is and how much Shane loves giving Ilya Rozanov head and how much he loves having Ilya Rozanov’s giant cock inside him and how he can let down his guard with Ilya Rozanov and just how much he’s in love with Ilya Rozanov.