Honestly, I think Steve was pretty well conditioned to assume he was in the wrong in their relationship, because of the way things have always played out between them. Like, I mentioned in my tags at one point that she basically gaslit him by realizing she didnât want him (in season 01) and instead of doing anything about it, just lying to him and lying to him, trying to push him away without taking any responsibility, until the lies led to him lashing out, so that then she was able to put all the blame for things ending on him. Steve is not a bad person, even for what he allowed his friends to do. Steve did everything he could to make sure Nancy had what she needed in their relationship, and her lies led to him thinking she was cheating, which by the way, probably hit hard at his personal family trauma, since we know his dad is a cheater. Of course, the way he lashed out was wrong (he knew it too, and made amends as quickly as possible), but her knowing already that she didnât want him at that point, and choosing to carry on in this way, so that he would feel the blame laying entirely on his shoulders for the failure of their relationship is, in my opinion, far more dire.Then, after that point, we know that Steve spent over a month in âpurgatoryâ basically, where she had ended things and was waiting for Jonathan, before deciding she was done waiting and going back to Steve. Of course we donât know how that went down, but itâs not a stretch to imagine Steve wouldâve felt it was a month of penance and making amends until finally he was deemed âgood enoughâ again, since clearly he didnât know that he was just a consolation prize after Jonathan didnât come to her quickly enough.She then repeated the behavior from season 1 again during season 2, attempting to use her drunkeness to absolve her of all guilt and responsibility and placing the blame for everything solely on Steveâs shoulders, while also belittling his feelings and need for validation and acting like he was being totally ridiculous for wanting reassurance. This is basically textbook emotional abuse, and makes it really easy to see how Steve would be conditioned to apologize first, just to make sure he can keep the peace between them. He cares about her deeply, and has been conditioned to understand that all the problems in their relationship are the result of his actions. It makes total sense that he would feel the need to walk on eggshells around her, to make sure he doesnât mess up again, because he wants to meet her standard and make sure sheâs happy. I think him then being like, âWhat the hell am I sorry for,â is an indication that heâs starting to understand, at least subconsciously that this isnât right, and itâs the first sign of him being ready to let her go. Itâs anger on his own behalf, because he knows that this time he wasnât in the wrong, and heâs still hurt, but he just loves her so much that heâll apologize anyways, because his first priority in their relationship is and always has been meeting her emotional needs. Honestly, thank God Dustin came along, because otherwise, I 100% think he would have set that annoyance aside and continued to try to âmake amendsâ despite not having been at fault.   Like, yeah, he has definitely fucked up, but he has always apologized and taken responsibility (and shown understanding of exactly what he did wrong), whereas Nancy never has. He has always been emotionally open and supportive with her, but she has never returned the favor, and, in fact, has pushed him away the second he was anything but perfectly willing to let her needs walk all over his. An example of that being the scene in season 1, where she tells him sheâs going to the police, and he freaks out and begs her not to tell them about the beers. He isnât asking her not to go to the police. He isnât asking her not to search for Barb. Heâs asking her to take into consideration the consequences for him if she chooses to include a single, irrelevant detail. The consequences for him, in his mind, will be dire, and heâs reasonably scared about it. She reacts to this show of vulnerability and âselfishnessâ as though heâs being completely unreasonable and ignoring all of her needs in every way (despite the fact that he never once suggested she not speak to the police). Then she demonstrates her own selfishness by telling the police about the beer, knowing full well that Steve will suffer consequences, but omitting the detail that they had sex, because she doesnât want her mom to find out, even though Karen has repeatedly made it clear that she understands and just wants Nancy to be honest with her. There would be no negative consequences of telling them about the sex, but she showed she was willing to withhold details for her own benefit, but not for Steveâs (when he would have negative consequences). Yet, when he comes to apologize, she doesnât acknowledge in any way that she could have been more sensitive to his emotional needs at any point. She is completely incapable of treating a relationship as a two way street, and Steve is so in love with her that heâs incapable of understanding how toxic that really is.What it boils down to, I guess, for TL;DR, is that their relationship is incredibly one sided. Steve is always ready and willing to provide emotional support for her, but she is never willing to do the same. When Steve fucks up, he is always willing to apologize and try to do better, but she is never willing to admit any fault, and allows him to shoulder all the blame for every negative experience in their relationship. He loves her deeply, and has no examples of healthy relationships to look at and understand that this isnât how things should be, so of course heâs going to go apologize even if he didnât do anything wrong. He thinks thatâs what heâs supposed to do, and he prioritizes keeping his relationship over his own emotional health, because he doesnât have the tools to understand the difference (at least not until later onâŚIâm really hopeful they will let him move on next season, but at the same time, super prepared for the Duffers to disappoint the fuck out of me XD).
gummygunk
2087
prguitarman
annaxmalina
theartofmadeline
germansingergirl
yousharknotpass
areudirty
