nothing holy to say

parker. NYC. queer whichever you slice it. slimey little ray boy and certified fucking nerd. multi-fandom as long as it's gay.

[allstarrocks]

people try to neuter ilya into a peaceful animal when the beast he is is The Thing that brings shane peace

[diasdelfuego]

the thing about art is that sometimes you'll be moved to tears by stuff that is not very good

[my-tardis-sense-is-tingling]

[madebymothman]

Shanebug insisted he didn't want ice cream but he's a filthy little liar (affectionate)

[whatthebodygraspsnot]

[maybemayii]

Jacob Anderson talking about the icons that shaped his Louis — Grace Jones & Eartha Kitt (Part ll)

[ok-notgood-probablybad]

[ostolero]

young old person tip for you all. go get some photos printed (pauses so someone can say bogos binted) and fill out a physical album

[sayaratyriea]

and annotate them with who is in the photos and when and where the photos were taken!!! your extended family 50 years from now will be grateful, and so will you if you end up forgetting any details

[mortimermcmirestinks]

(sprints into room late, looking harried and frantic as fuck) bogos binted. did I miss it

[natalieironside]

If u want to write a story about a character that’s just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who’s gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

[charlon-lumi]

What if someone barges in, points at said character and scream, “Mary Sue!”

[natalieironside]

Tell them to come back with a warrant

[charlon-lumi]

This post came across my dash again and now I am having an absolute blast with self insert hotter me that gets the girls and guys everywhere.

[natalieironside]

This is the Way

[natalieironside]

#everyday i remember i can write whateveer i want#and then get too embarrassed to do it😕#one day.. 

[jld-az]

[v8roadworrier]

need a permission slip? have a permission slip

[darlingofdots]

they don't really use pet names when they're around other people but their teammates learn very quickly that there is ilya (positive) and ilya (negative) and rozanov (fuck yeah that was fucking gorgeous) and rozanov (if you do not shut the fuck up immediately i swear to fucking god) and shane (adoring) and shane (sad) and hollander (that's how you fucking do it!) and hollander (sit your fucking ass down or we will have a problem) and these distinctions are way more important to keep track of than the five times a month hollander calls cap "baby" and cap's face goes all sappy

[flyora]

Happy Anniversary

[aropride]

please god let chatgpt die out like nfts did. With a fast and graceless fall into irrelevancy

[bladespark]

Like to charge, reblog to cast.

[atwotonedbird]

This spell has a very low hit ratio, so we need a lot of us to do it.

[bambicoded]

I've been behind on manufacturing these in sorry to let you down gang

[afloweroutofstone]

This captures everything I love about being online

[normal-horoscopes]

This reminds me of the time that I asked if anyone had resources on the history of Shinto and while nobody had book recs, turns out an actual Temple Maiden followed me on Tumblr and was down to chat.

[sabotage-on-mercury]

Rolex invites Shane to the Royal Box at Wimbledon again and this time Shane accepts because Rolex specifically asked if he could bring his husband as well and fuck yes he can and together Ilya and Shane are ready to serve so much cunt. They both get dressed in some sharp, elevated summer suits, Ilya in Versace and Shane in Gucci, the dramatic sunglasses & the bitchiest, judgiest mogging are ON, they mirror each other as they cross their legs; occasionally they're holding hands or sit with Ilya's arm around Shanes waist, they are the epitome of power husbands & this is their playground. Do they have one clue what is going on on the court? Of course not. That doesn't stop them from having a fabulous time showing off each other. They know they steal the limelight looking as devastating as they do, together. Turns out these dreadful PR appointments are actually incredible fun when you have your husband/best friend / soulmate with you and Shane can't imagine how he ever did this without Ilya.

Now picture this, occasionally they whisper into each other's ears, sometimes its just sweet nothigns and sometimes it's some devastating chirps about tennis, and each time a precious smile breaks through, only for each other, but it drives the photographers wild.

(afterwards, Ilya is excited to have the perfect summer with Shane where they fuck their way across europe)

[ellisonwongparty]

the way rr/tierney introduce ilya is so funny to me because when you first see him you're just like jeez this guy is such an asshole why is he like this. and then seconds later it's just like um it's because he has a 1) dead mom 2) who killed herself 3) an abusive dad 4) with alzheimers 5) a brother 6) who verbally abuses him on the phone 7) when ilya refuses to wire him 50 bands all at once 8) all while he spends new years eve all alone in the grossest motel you've ever seen 9) and he's bisexual.

and you're just like. well shit. that will do it i guess.

[ellisonwongparty]

and then with shane it's just like. oh this guy's life is perfect. i wonder what's wrong with him. and then the very next second it's like does shane think a suit and tie is necessary for all sex??? or just gay sex???

[stabthroughme]

Hollanov freak4freak in the Cens locker room:

When Lisa has a bad shift at work and suddenly has Wyatt planning how he wants to be buried/his funeral and Shane and Ilya both decide when they die (at the same time) they will be sharing a coffin. Or even better going full Classics mode and mixing their ashes together. They declare this out loud then return to stick taping.

Shane calling Lisa to ask if they (doctors) would do elective surgery to transplant their bones into each other on speaker phone. Ilya is beaming.

Shane watching Ilya tape his stick. Ilya who only developed his “way” of taping his stick post 2017 All Stars when he saw how Shane did it. They match. Shane acts like Ilya is performing a strip tease.

Ilya hearing Shane talk to the new Russian rookie in Russian, talking abt how if he ever needs anything to call Shane and/or Ilya. He knows how isolating it can be etc etc. Ilya finds it sweet but is irrationally possessive about Shane speaking Russian to anyone else ever.

Ofc they’re compatible blood types and at some point Shane discovers some new “health spa” thing that does private blood transfusions. He books an appointment for him and Ilya. On full volume on his headphones in the middle of the gym. The Ducklings (younger players) are now convinced Shane and Ilya are vampires. When they try to bring it up to anyone else Bood asks Ilya and Ilya beams and goes “we switched blood”. The same voice and tone as “we got Anya a little sister” after a long weekend where they acquired a kitten.

[aslongasitsblack]

yes shane not realising people are flirting with him but also shane not realising that HE is flirting with men he finds attractive shane who naturally flutters his big brown sparkly eyes more often whenever hes talking to a big strong handsome man shane who automatically tilts his head slightly down so his gaze is directed upwards shane whose voice turns soft and buttery while he’s delivering smooth jabs and quick compliments shane whose mouth quips into a glint of teeth and scratches the back of his neck so his bicep strains against the cuff of his t shirt shane who says ‘yeah you’d like that?’ without thinking and hums round and airy ‘mhmm’ in acknowledgement shane insisting ‘i was NOT flirting with him.’ when ilya brings it up later and ilya shrugs and says ‘you cannot help it…you’re super gay…i don’t mind, im the only one that makes you nervous’ and grins wickedly while shane blushes and makes a sound in the back of his throat as ilya descends upon him

[notevengonnaanswerthat]