in this crazy world

Hi, I'm Calico and I'm actually kinda boring. I have an art blog though. INFJ | 9w1 ☉♓☽♏As♌

[tilthat]

TIL, Calvin Klein’s cologne ‘Obsession’ can draw big cats like Tigers, Jaguars etc from as far as half a mile, who then proceed to taking long sniffs and cuddling against the source, savouring the smell much longer than they savour even their meals

via reddit.com

[30-minute-memes]

not the cougar i thought I’d attract but I’ll take it

[fantastic-mister-bugbug]

My friend is doing fieldwork in Costa Rica and she informed me that if they want herbivores to stay out on an area for research, they spray Obsession around the area and I thought it was hilarious and made an incredibly specific niche meme that I never thought I’d be able to post

[rneliflua]

The last play I watched before the pandemic was a Beauty And The Beast adaptation and when Gaston proposed to Belle there was this little boy in the audience who yelled NOOO DON’T SAY YES, so when Belle naturally turned him down Gaston turned to the boy with his hands on his hips and said “well, now look what you’ve done”  

[alkthash]

#no one breaks the fourth wall like gaston

[quasi-normalcy]

Why does everyone say that they played someone ‘like a fiddle’? Fiddles are actually pretty difficult to play? Why not say ‘I played him like a recorder’? ‘Like a xylophone’? ‘Like a triangle’?

[periegesisvoid-deactivated]

I think it’s got to do with detail and subtlety. If you play someone like a fiddle, that’s like, Iago or some shit. If you play someone like a triangle, you just told them there was free food somewhere when there wasn’t.

[merrypaws]

I’ve once  read the following exchange:

“You played me!”

“Like the cheap kazoo you are.”

Which in my books is a pretty epic burn if we’re going to be making musical comparisons.

[uncertainlys]

it will pass but like can i at least get an eta

[orcposts]

do not go gentle into that good night

[orcposts]

be a bit of a bitch about it

[dal-selfships]

oh to be a bored prince who keeps rejecting marriage proposals due to being secretly in love with the cute gardener boy

[equalitymeanseveryonethesame-de]

oh to be a cute gardener boy who secretely places roses in the prince's room because he is in love with him

[tiger-in-the-flightdeck]

Oh to be the palace guard who discreetly helps to boost the cute gardener boy up the wall for his secret deliveries in the middle of the night

[rumman]

mutuals are people u wanna eat bread dipped in olive oil with

[levourdalak]

[sparkafterdark-deactivated20181]

Good news bad news best news

The good news:

 I found my favorite old jacket while sorting through my old stuff

The bad news:

The last time I wore it I was nine years old

The best news:

I am the anime now

[junglejim4322]

Friendships as a teenager: we used to talk 5 hours every night now it’s down to 3… are we still friends 🤔? I wonder if they don’t like me anymore

Friendships as an adult: omg I’ve finally cleared up 20 minutes of my schedule to talk to my friend I haven’t spoken to in 4 months #bffs #we will find eachother in every life

[junglejim4322]

I’m still so taken aback by people in the notes who claimed you need to be talking to people weekly or even daily to consider them your friend. how many people do you know? As an adult I feel like talking every day is sustainable with one person maybe 2 or 3 if your circumstances somehow are really conveniently aligned. yeah there’s people I talk to often there’s also people I don’t talk to for 6 months because there’s no way we’ll be able to coordinate time and energy and I still consider them my friends because this is real life and there isn’t a stardew valley esque hearts system based off of how many interactions we had this month

[bakwaaas]

adult life is crazy because you can be going through the most devastating and heartbreaking things while still having to go to work and do the laundry and grocery shopping

[chocoholicbec]

@hamletthedane’s tags are worth reading.

[arcaneimages]

This taxidermy was found inside a late 19th-century French mansion which has been sealed up for more than 100 years. Via National Geographic.

[we-did-an-internet]

Good to know people were just as fucking weird before the internet.

[zzdigital]

What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didn’t realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like

“Dude, you haven’t gone outside in a while.” “Yeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.”

“Are you still up?” “Yeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.”

“Dude, I’m seriously craving something right now.” “Like what?” “I dunno. Pizza rolls?”

[adriofthedead]

“Why is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?” “Um, it’s called ‘being polite’…?”

[paulichu]

“I tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think I’m allergic, but all I’m getting on Google is vampire bullshit.”

[samarajournal]

“Dude can a mirror like… stop working or something?”

[espeoradar]

“Dude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?” “…Those are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.”

“Dude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when I’m around? It really bugs me for some reason.”

[recondite-room]

“Have you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.”

[nickthepigeon]

“I want to sleep in a coffin…ya kno, for like… aesthetic”

[therightprometheanfire]

“What’s with your thing about necks lately?”

“MUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOME”

[hopetimistic]

“I looked up my symptoms on WebMD, and it says I have cancer.”

[samwise-the-true-hero-deactivat]

This last addition made the reblog obligatory. This one wins.

[evavalor]

underrated trope: “i’ve lost my memory and idk who you are but i just have this feeling that i’m supposed to trust you”

[meg-moira]

This - but the feeling is absolutely, completely, 100% wrong.

Person 1: “I don’t know what it is about you…I just know that I can trust you.”

Person 2, their actual, literal worst enemy: “Excuse me, what?”

Cue enemies to friends to lovers speedrun.

[theanimejunkie]

my mom ordered two different pizzas from two different places cause she had coupons and they both got here at the same time so we had a pizza hut delivery guy and a dominos delivery guy both standing by our front door and the dominos guy looks at the pizza hut guy and proceeds to sing Why Can’t We Be Friends? while the pizza hut guy just glares at him

[wombrion]

[heckling-hydrena]

go to settings > to the right, under "Blogs," pick the blog you want to change the settings of > scroll down to visibility settings > turn on "Prevent third-party sharing for [blog url]" > do this for each individual blog you have

[thelastlightningbug]

bill nye has fucking snapped. if you say the words “chinese hoax” he’ll personally teleport to your location, set you on fire, and tell you that “oh no boo hoo you can’t stop being on fire because it costs too much money to not be on fire guess it’s just not worth extinguishing you”. he’d stab an oil company exec with knife hidden under his light blue lab coat. that man has gone off the civility rails, he is absolutely living, i admire him fully, we stan 

[jayska-nxl]

Bill Nye has what feels like a valid anti-hero/supervillain origin story. Young, optimistic scientist dedicates his life to educating children about science, but then watch as those same kids grow up to ignore science and continue to destroy the earth. So in a fit of rage/act of desperation he activates Super ScientistTM mode and becomes his superpowered persona and starts killing billionaires in ridiculous over-the-top fourth grade science fair experiment related ways.

Tbh, I’d help him

[aces-to-apples]

Reblog to become Supervillain Bill Nye’s nameless henchperson