…you know what I had a whole unhinged journaling session crashout about that line three hundred years ago before seasons 2 and 3 came out. This is from maybe my third watchthrough of season 1 but I still have it saved in my Procrate app:
IN CONCLUSION: I AM CURRENTLY AUGUST TRASH I WAS ALWAYS AUGUST TRASH AND I WILL ALWAYS BE AUGUST TRASH DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE ME FOR I WILL ONLY BECOME TRASHIER
But genuinely—knowing what we now know (yikes) from season 3 about the way Erik shaped August’s first year experience, it’s interesting how, when scrambling to say something right after causing harm he knows he can never reverse, August reaches into his psyche and pulls out the thing both he and Wilhelm know (or at least, fear) Erik wouldn’t say.
The thing Kristina isn’t saying. The thing Wilhelm probably needs to hear from a family member. The thing that’s coming from the family member who will now never be the “right” family member. The thing a younger, more vulnerable August probably needed to hear from a relative, but instead he was told to toughen up and fed more toxic masculinity.
And as much as I puzzled about it before, I don’t think “follow your heart/be yourself” is an attempt to be manipulative or August being a broken clock. I think there’s a sort of revelatory desperation in it that maybe even surprises August himself.
Sorry. It’s just one of my favorite lines/moments in the series for that reason.
Am I going to regret posting this in the morning? Probably.
It's intensely inconvient to read this, because I already have queued up a different addendum to this post, which goes in an entirely different direction. But what @bluedalahorse says here is just so INTERESTING, I feel like I have no Choice but to reblog it. You'll all just have to deal with the logical inconsistency of reading a totally different take from me whenever that other post rises to the top of my queue.
I'm not sure I 100% agree with all of Blue's take, but damn, it's just so neat to think about. I want to mentally slobber all over their ideas here like my cat, sucking all the catnippy gocdness out of one of those tiny catnip pillows I buy him. Sorry, that metaphor got away from me. But it's still valid, if somewhat more saliva-forward than would be ideal.
Enjoy the read! Send your thinky thoughts about August to @bluedalahorse !
Was there not a single lawyer on staff at the Royal Court who could say, “a crime was committed against the Crown Prince, your majesty”?
This was a sex crime. Kristina, Ludvig, the entire Royal court, and the international media all treated it like a sex scandal. And they were never held to account for it.
I think it was @sixbynine-da , in the comments of another post, who said it seems like the writing team didn’t really think out the implications of making their protagonists the victims of revenge porn beyond Season 1. And I think that’s probably correct.
I mean, it’s a sex crime. August is a sex offender. He has an NDA, so he’s not going to get a criminal record or be publicly shamed, but he’s still a sex offender.
I was SO mad at Kristina here. For ONE tiny second when she arrived and was visibly fucked off with Annette and marched into that room and took a deep breath and looked at her son sadly and then kicked his stuff out of the way on the floor and sat down next to him I thought MAYBE this is a moment where we see her as a mother.
But nope.
Let him just apologise for something entirely beyond his control and accept the blame. without even being asked. Because Wille is just so conditioned to be a disappointment and the problem by now even he isn't really even thinking about himself as having been violated.
August was most likely abused as a child by @darktwistedgenderplural
“Do you think wilmon relationship is toxic?” by @ireneaesthetic, addition by @raincitygirl76
Is Wille manipulating Simon? by @darktwistedgenderplural, addition by @randonwilmonfan
Simon may have protected Sara against Micke by @othervee, additions by @skibasyndrome
Simon's (potential) trauma and physical boundaries by @iwouldnevergetintofanfic
Simon's trauma response to the video anon ask to @young-royals-confessions replies by @margotdanslebois and @resipsaloquitaceips
I ADORE mutual eyefucking, side eyes, twisted necks at the ball. Simon not even half arsely paying attention to Markus. He’s barely listening and still looking out for Wille when Markus suggested Simon stays the night. If the guy said ‘hey Simon we will fly to the moon together after the ball’ he would be still like yeah mhm 😂 This fucking ball scene was everything. He dragged Markus to that ball and proceeded to GHOST him afterwards. And then few days later he rolled out of Willes bed and proceeded to break up with Markus 😂 I should be condemning this behaviour but maaan, chaotic unhinged Simon is EVERYTHING!
no one asked for it, but i have another art inspired ficlet to share. because sometimes you have an actual visceral reaction to something you see and your brain turns it into this. (again, ignore typos and the total lack of editing)
819 words; post-canon, established relationship
…
Simon finds Wille standing in front of a frame hanging on the wall in the hallway. The bed was empty when he woke up and it took him longer than he’d like to admit to wander the corridors of the palace in search of his boyfriend. Now that Simon’s finally found him, Wille doesn’t seem to notice Simon approaching him, engrossed as he is in the picture he’s looking at.
When he reaches Wille, Simon wraps his arms around his middle and hooks his chin over his shoulder. For a second Wille tenses, but then his hands come to rest over Simon’s and he melts into the touch. Simon presses a kiss into the hinge of his jaw and then looks up, curious to find out what painting he’s so eagerly studying.
Only, when Simon fixes his eyes what is inside the frame, he’s met with a black glass-covered canvas reflecting back their image. There is no painting; there is nothing.
Simon can’t help but frown. “What are we looking at?” he asks, keeping his voice soft and low.
For a moment Wille doesn’t answer. Then he sighs and leans into Simon’s touch. “That’s where my portrait was supposed to go.”
Simon takes in the elaborate decorations and the sheer size of the gilded frame around nothing. He has several questions, but before he can decide which one to ask first, Wille speaks.
“There was supposed to be a portrait of the new crown prince, unveiled on my 18th birthday. It would’ve been displayed next to Erik’s,” he says quietly. Simon tightens his hold.
“Sometimes I come here to look at… this,” Wille continues, his eyes never leaving the blank dark canvas.
“What do you see? When you look at,” Simon nods towards the frame.
“I see different things on different days,” Wille says after a moment, “Some days I see the son who isn’t enough. The son who tried to do the right thing, but can never live up to Erik. Sometimes I see a boy who’s too much, who no one wants to deal with.”
Simon hears the vulnerability in his tone, how this must be something he hasn’t said out loud to anyone else, at least not in a long time.
“There are times when I see the person who did what he needed to do and who’s happy and trying and failing and who doesn’t know who he really is. Who tries to do what’s right and figure it all out but isn’t sure he’s succeeding,” Wille mumbles quietly, like he’s only now admitting this to himself. Simon brushes his nose along his jawline and pauses to leave a lingering kiss under his ear. He hears Wille sigh.
Simon moves to rest his chin on Wille’s shoulder again so he can see their reflection in the glass. He takes in the slightly distorted image of his boyfriend.
“Do you want to know what I see?” he asks.
Hesitating for a second, Wille nods, the movement small but clearly there.
“I see someone who’s brave. Someone who made a huge decision, knowing the impact it would have and stuck to it.”
Wille’s fingers intertwine with his and Simon squeezes them gently before continuing, “I see someone who’s impulsive and stubborn.” Wille huffs and Simon’s mouth curves into a smile. “Someone who would benefit thinking twice sometimes, but who only acts fast because he cares.”
In the glass, Simon can see the corners of Wille’s mouth start to tug upwards. “I see a boy who cares so much it sometimes hurts. I see a boy who loves so deeply and who’ll do everything for the people he loves. And I see someone who is so lucky to receive that love. I see someone who matters more than anything else in this world, someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“The rest of your life?” Wille asks, a little breathlessly, pressing even closer to Simon.
Simon holds his gaze in the glass. “Yes. Because I see someone who is willing to make the effort and learn and share and understand and who has more courage than anyone else I know. And I want to see what becomes of you, I want see you see yourself here as someone who is loved and cherished and never too much and always enough as you are.”
Simon’s words are followed by a silence. Wille turns around in his hold, facing away from the empty frame. Simon can see the emotions swimming in his eyes, how Wille seems to be processing everything he just said.
“I want that too,” he finally says, resting his forehead against Simon’s.
“Good,” Simon replies and leans in to kiss him. “It’s what you deserve to see when you look at yourself.”
Next time Simon visits the palace the empty frame is gone from the wall, nothing indicating it ever was there.
sophie calle (french, b. 1953): what do you see? (2013)
i dont agree with outdoor cats but i gotta admit the fact me and my roommate can fondly talk about local cats like theyre our beloved neighbours is pretty cool. do i know any of the humans who live in my neighborhood? not particularly. do i know the little tuxedo cat with the pink collar who recognises the ice cream truck music and comes out to get pets from all the kids? of course they're a local celebrity to me.
I love how Zohran Mamdani is wearing a suit everywhere. And if he has anything else he puts it ON TOP of the suit. A basketball jersey. A high-vis vest. All worn over the suit. He’s like the mayor character in a cartoon who’s always dressed as The Mayor. If I didn’t know who he was and he biked past me in NYC I’d be like holy shit was that the mayor
