[another event occurs] @hyvnknows - Tumblr Blog

favorite hollanov kisses 29/??

I have this headcanon where in an alternative universe Ilya had a moment of insight at the beginning of their hookups so when The Raiders asked where he was going instead of saying he was gonna see Montreal Jane he was like 'I am gonna see my close personal friend Shane Hollander we are gonna eat takeout and play videogames in his house he is my best friend actually.' And the Raiders were like, 'Yeah, right.' But he kept the bit, and every time they were in Montreal, he told the Raiders he was meeting Shane, and the rivalry was just league PR bullshit. They never truly believed him, but it didn't really matter at the time. And When they were eventually at the cottage and Shane told Ilya his plan Ilya was like 'Do not be mad but I have been telling Raiders you are my best friend and every time we play monteral I come to see you to play videogames and eat takeout for years and they never belived me so there is still plusably denibility but if you wanna launch a friendship we dont have to wait or built up I already laid the groundwork.' And Shane is in his head like 'I am gonna marry this man.' So they announce the charity the same summer and the raiders are like 'well shit he was telling the truth.' And since Ilya did lay the groundwork, when the media asks them about Ilya and Shane's 'have been friends the whole time' narrative, the Raiders are like, 'Yeah, he told us they were friends; we just didn't believe him.' Which makes the public opinion on their friendship largely positive but doesn't really change the overall timeline all that much just gives them some room to be publicly affectionate and kind of takes the heat off the fanmail gate bc instead of the public thinking it was an enemies-to-lovers hot sex in hotel rooms 9-year situationship with messy breakups and hookups in between they think it was a slow-burn friends-to-lovers situation filled with yearning and Queer self discovery which is more palatable to the public.

pookieshane

bisexual menace ilya rozanov (he looks so good here it's fucking crazy)

isolabellz

first time shane meets svetlana ilya isn’t actually around. Shane comes to boston to spend a rare weekend with ilya but when he lets himself inside he’s met with svetlana who acting like they’ve known each other for years launches into a rant about how she just found out her boyfriend secretly got married behind her back for citizenship which isn’t what she’s mad about she’s more mad that he lied and she had to find out when she was going through papers on his desk and found the prenup but she broke up with him and took his giant golden doodle which she is stashing at ilya’s house for the time being and shane’s just standing there like he stands having no idea what to say to her which is not helped by the fact he’s trying to keep a respectful distance from the dog who keeps trying to stick his nose into his crotch and svetlana is acting like she doesn’t notice but then they bond because his boyfriend once threatened a citizenship marriage to someone else so he can kinda relate to the feeling so svetlana is like “fuck this i need a drink and you’re coming with” and drags Shane to a bar with her which of course gets photographed but before those pictures are posted ilya comes home to find an empty house and a giant dog sleeping on his couch and he’s so confused he takes a picture and texts shane is like “this is either the best of day of my life and you bought me a dog or the worst day of my life because you’ve been cursed by a witch and turned into a dog but don’t worry i will break curse and if i can’t i’ll still love you forever” and shane’s honestly a little too tipsy to deal with the way that text makes him feel like he wants to cry so he texts back “come pick us up” ilya responds “us???” and shane sends a video of svetlana holding the bartender hostage by drunkingly retelling her breakup story AGAIN but in russian this time so the poor guy has no idea what she’s saying. anyway ilya picks them up and brings them home and he can’t hide the stupid grin on his face and how light he feels that he didn’t even have to lock his too favorite people in a room together so he can introduce them like two feral cats and so when they get home he makes them all tea with slices of lemon and they sit on the couch, the dog despite being almost twice her size curled up in Svetlana’s lap and they gossip about svetlana’s ex and not once mention hockey and shane’s like “wow this must be how it feels to be a normal person in a normal relationship” anyway when the photos finally get released of shane and svetlana drunk at a bar and ilya coming to pick them up everyone online is confused as fuck as to what is going on because literally no context of the three of them being in the same room makes any sense and for the whole weekend people are asking for proof of life of shane because they all think ilya killed him for stealing his girlfriend or something stupid like that meanwhile shane hasn’t gone on his phone for 72 hours because once svetlana leaves shane and ilya spend the whole weekend fucking only coming up for air to eat and use the bathroom so when Shane gets papped at the airport there obviously aren’t any hickies because they aren’t fucking stupid but there is still the sense that he just got mauled by a bear (no pun intended) so at the next press conference Shane is forced to make a statement that no there was no threat to his safety while he was in boston and him and ilya just happen to have a mutual friend

gurlsrool

have we considered the possibility of Shane and Ilya being at a fundraising event put on by the Centaurs and there are retired players there. One was their star center when Shane was a kid and Shane gets SO flustered talking to him. Ilya’s just standing there, watching his husband blush over a tall, brash hockey player with curly hair and he’s like …you’re kidding me

the guy walks away and Shane tells Ilya that he had all the guy’s posters as a kid and he was soooo obsessed with him. Ilya’s like “uh huh. yeah. I’m sure”, simultaneously offended and so turned on by the confirmation that he’s the epitome of his husband’s type

gaynehollander

For most of his career, Shane has had a strict schedule of a 6 am run. The weather doesn't always allow for it, in which case he uses the home gym, but he really prefers starting his day with running outside.

The only exception was whenever he or Ilya slept over. Their time together was so limited that Shane sacrificed his strict 10 pm bedtime and 6 am run for evenings spent in Ilya's arms and lazy mornings in bed together.

So the first time Ilya really becomes aware of this habit is after Shane moves to Ottawa. He wakes up, careful not to disturb Ilya, and sneaks out of their bedroom and when Anya wakes up to the sound of him moving around the house, and starts whining at the door, what is he supposed to do other than take her with him on his run?

When Ilya eventually gets up, Shane is back home, freshly showered and sitting on one of their barstools, enjoying his morning smoothie. Ilya appears, bleary eyed eyed and half-asleep, in a robe and wordlessly places a kiss on the crown of his head before gathering Anya's leash and whistling for her to come so they can walk around the garden and she can take care of her business. Shane tells him that's not necessary, they went for a run this morning and Ilya reacts as though this is high treason. He accuses Shane of robbing him of quality time with his daughter and leaving him out of family bonding. It's mostly done in jest but Shane can see that there's a grain of something there.

Which is how Shane reluctantly agrees to move his runs to 7 am and they become a family activity.

hr-rep

I love thinking about the movie based off a book that gets made that is obviously based off of Shane & Ilya. Like the author changed a few minor details (chefs that are rivals? Oh I’m sure) but everyone has eyes.

In public? They never speak of it. Private? Ilya is whining that Fake Shane has no freckles :{ so cruel, how they missed the vision :{{{

livythewidow

You should know that Ilya's strong enough to carry Shane with his arms under Shane's huge thighs. And strong enough to slide into Shane and bounce him on it while Shane holds on for dear life. And strong enough to slam Shane's back into the wall still holding him up and fucking him so hard and deep Shane's wonders what that sound is and it's his own pleasured sobbing.

You should just know that.

c24c24

Ilya, assuming it was going to be a cute dog movie, watched Marley and Me on the plane. For about a year afterwards the raiders are only able to refer to Cliff as “hey you”, otherwise it’s a gamble on which stage of grief their captain will end up on

tomb-mold

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

gurlsrool

Ilya circa 2017 retweeting a post that says “all the hottest bitches can’t see shit.” His mentions are immediately flooded with women sharing pictures of them wearing glasses because no one knows he’s ShanePosting

Shane sees this and gets territorial enough to send a selfie of him wearing nothing but his glasses. Ilya drops his phone so hard the screen shatters

marraetay-blog

It’s interesting how the entire club scene is lit with the bisexual colors bc both Ilya and Shane are performing bisexuality in inauthentic and equally toxic ways to hide their fear, hurt, and shame.

For Shane, bisexuality is his last ditch effort to deny his queerness and desire for Ilya. For Ilya, flaunting his bisexuality in front of Shane—who is struggling so hard with the desire to be ‘straight passing’—is both a taunt and a plea.

Both of them using bisexual exploration and expression in deeply flawed and destructive ways for a scene that is lit with bisexual colors is so interesting.

The bisexual flag colors are meant to represent authenticity, visibility, and pride but both Shane and Ilya are so deeply buried in fear, hurt and shame that they are branded by the bisexual colors instead of embraced by them.

The bisexual colored lighting is as atmospheric and inescapable as identity itself, further contrasting and coloring everything that is keeping them apart.

allstarrocks

"who else am i gonna tell" makes me cry so bad. Who else is he gonna tell? Who else in his entire life can he say those words to without failing them? Who else does he feel safe to share this with?