summer is that terrible hot thing between me and halloween.
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@iamnotpersephone
summer is that terrible hot thing between me and halloween.
tea is so so good like genuinely. drink this leaves in hot water and itll solve all your problems. and it does!!
A cautionary tale about the growing literacy crisis
villain going to the goon shelter to pick out a new henchman
this energetic and diabolical boy was rescued from a goon hoarding situation… he loves pulling levers, gloating, and turning cranks with great abandon. prefers to be the only goon. needs an active lair with plenty of enrichment.
now this fella comes with some baggage. his previous villain was going to have put down when he refused to perform unsedated human vivisection as a form of torture. one of our agents intercepted the execution and brought him to the goon shelter. would thrive in an environment of G or PG-rated villainry.
on the other hand, if you’re looking for something a little more… advanced… then this fine lady over here would make a great challenge for an experienced villain able to set firm boundaries. she will NOT be released to first-time villains; proof of prior henchpeople must be demonstrated before adoption approval. high prey drive. under no circumstances should she be left alone with children or small animals. must sign waiver releasing the goon shelter from responsibility if her behavior is deemed excessively depraved.
These two are pair-bonded and may only be adopted together. Up for anything, they are fiercely loyal to their employer provided their needs are met and they are permitted to hold hands. They look alarmingly similar to one another but it is undeterminable whether they are close blood relatives or lovers who choose to dress and style themselves in identical ways. Habit of finishing each other’s sentences with rhyming couplets; we have not attempted to train this out of them. Will answer to whatever names or titles you give them so long as they are complimentary and/or rhyme.
Will you help this goon find his forevil lair? He’s been returned to the goon shelter six times now but we refuse to give up on him. A vile little rat of a man, he’d be the perfect accomplice to someone willing to overlook his unfortunate heterosexuality. If gay-coding is not your style and you don’t expect it from a henchman, please consider giving this little guy a good home in your dastardly schemes.
This guy is not your typical goon. He was rescued from a high-kill shelter after being deemed unfit for henching. His deep baritone voice, his darkly handsome good looks, and his flair for the dramatic have made prospective employers pass over him time and time again, making him the longest resident of the goon shelter. But don’t judge a book by its cover—while his appearance and demeanor suggest “villain”, his real passion is taking orders and faithfully serving a master. If you’re secure in your villainry and not prone to jealousy, he may just be what it takes to turn your base into a lair.
Now this big fella, we've named him Tony the Greek, he was rescued from an illegal goon mill for Runyonland Thugs. This is a very popular breed due to their classically intimidating looks and charming speech patterns, but they are very high-maintenance. The Runyonland Thug was originally bred for debt collection and deterring private investigators, so they need a bustling urban environment to run around in--if you keep him cooped up in your ominous castle or island volcano lair, he'll get restless and start roughing up your other minions. Proper grooming is essential; make sure his suits are nice and pressed and he has a long coat and a hat for when he's going out on errands for you. And they love toys--mostly Tommy guns and brass knuckles, but Tony, you can see, loves his blackjack. Sadly selective breeding has resulted in a tendency towards health problems--alcohol abuse, excessive gambling, getting shot in a police raid--but with care this loyal henchman will bring you joy and your enemies pain for years to come.
Love the moment in System Collapse when Ratthi makes a joke about round hatches being scarier than square ones, SecUnit decides to fact check this by searching its entire media library for scary things coming out of doors and doing statistical analysis on the shape of the doors and discovers he's right, and ART goes "You wasted processing space on that?" And then ART gets sucked into participating in the inane conversation within seconds.
The funniest part of A New Hope is that Luke Skywalker is a 19 year old who has not locked in yet and plays with toys and sleeps in his childhood bedroom at his aunt and uncle’s house and Leia Organa is a 19 year old with a mission to save the galaxy from fascism. Luke has never left his hometown, Leia just watched her planet be blown up. He’s peeved his uncle is asking him to do his chores, she’s imprisoned for resisting the government. You relate to them both but they’re on complete opposite sides of the 19 year old life stage spectrum.
Also Luke is clearly very lonely after his crush and best friend, Biggs, went away to college
Yes! Some people have misinterpreted this as me insinuating Luke is a wimp but he’s just in a very transitional life phase that is focused on growing and maturing. His friends are growing up and moving on, he’s anxious to join them but isn’t quite ready. He has ambition and goals but he just isn’t in a place where he is able to pursue those goals, he is immature and that isn’t a bad thing. 19 year olds SHOULD be able to ponder their place in the world and which direction they want their life to take. Leia has been in the public eye her entire life, she is a princess, she has been primed for greatness and she has been shouldered with so much responsibility. Luke is just his aunt and uncle’s nephew, they love him and don’t want him to leave, he’s trying to decide what to do.
He’s like a Midwest farm boy who is dreaming of the big city and she is like an old money New England heiress who has been told since birth she will follow her father’s career path into politics and has been sent to the most competitive schools and enrolled in the most rigorous extracurriculars.
Luke is the protagonist at the start of a coming-of-age plotline while Leia is in the 3rd season finale of her failed revolution plan when A New Hope takes place and you can fight me on this.
and Han Solo owes a slug drug money
so our friend who goes by Irregular Joe in robot wars circles has crafted The Luggage, who is "a 13.6kg sportsman featherweight"
just look at it go!!!!
sound on, by the gods
A Kate Beaton classic for Ida B. Wells birthday.
Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
Murderbot, absolute monarch of haterism. It gets friends for the first time in its life and immediately designates one Mortal Enemy [if anyone touches him they're dead]. It runs away, meets another intelligent bot, and immediately gives it a nickname that starts with Asshole. It goes to Preservation and starts one-sided beef with a hauler bot for no fucking reason. IT'S ENRICHMENT
Writing tips:
“You feel the bulge in his pants” - implies that you are feeling some guy’s penis, may be sexy depending on context
“You feel the bugle in his pants” - implies that this guy has a military horn in his pants, invites confusing questions like why does he have that and how big are his pockets
Both options convey that he's horny
How dare you be funnier than me on my own post
Swarovski can continue to fuck off.
In 2021, Swarovski (the company that makes the very sparkly crystals you see in certain jewelry, on figure-skaters' twinkliest outfits, on red carpet dresses), decided they didn't want the grubby fingers of small-time jewelers, clothing designers and costumers and crafters on their shiny beads and rhinestones anymore. They decided to limit their sales to "luxury" and couture creators, not girls who sell stuff on Etsy. The tenor of their press release on the subject was snide and insulting. Resellers (like your favorite bead shop) would no longer be allowed to carry their product; the average Jane on the street would not be able to purchase them. You could only get them if you had an authorized business agreement that bound you to very strict brand behavior. And those of us who still had good stock of the crystals would no longer be "permitted" to use the brand's name in our listings for sale.
Every bead shop and craft supply place and many, many small clothing makers--wedding shops, prom and dancing dress suppliers, the sort of salt of the Earth mom and pop time machines of shops that are the backbone of the field--scrambled to find something that could replace them. The last of the stock dwindled quickly, all of us grabbing what we could get while there was any chance of it, and then it was gone and we no longer had any access.
I was Big Pissed about it at the time. It was just so goddamn stuck-up, when wholesalers and indie jewelers had made them so much money, when some people I knew--when *I!*--had been brand-loyal for decades. But with no recourse, everyone pivoted fairly quickly, most of us to Preciosa Crystals. Those are Czech, quite sparkly, and considerably less expensive than Swarovski. The faceting method they use is different, but not worse; any differences are hardly noticeable when you're seeing them as a hundred pinpoints of light.
Well, out of nowhere, Swarovski just dropped this: https://www.harmanbeads.com/swarovski-brand-policy-update
"Effective June 1, 2026, Swarovski updated the distribution and brand usage policies introduced in 2021. Businesses may now purchase Swarovski Crystals without signing a Brand Control Agreement, and Authorized Distribution Partners may once again sell Swarovski Crystals to resellers, including bead stores and online retailers. Businesses may also use the Swarovski brand name when following Swarovski’s Proper Use Guidelines. Designers, manufacturers, artists, brands, retailers, and resellers are now eligible to purchase Swarovski Crystals through authorized distribution channels."
They want us back. A lot of the companies who could have kept a brand relationship with them also have swapped to Preciosa, over the last half-decade, in solidarity with indie creators and out of a sour awareness that it could be them, next. And it doesn't hurt that Preciosa was able to expand their line quite a bit now that everyone who wanted sparkle had no choice but to go to them.
And I'm not seeing nearly anyone who intends to return. The feeling is, "Y'all told us to fuck off! Off we fucked! And now, that's what you can do, too!" I'm seeing a lot of "How many of us did you stab in the back?" comments from the people whose money they're hoping to attract.
And personally I'm sitting over here all rubby hands, mean snickering, because they really thought they were going to be able to outclimb the people who actually provided all their profits, and now here they are, hat in hand.
holy shit, I missed this.
.....
So very glad I've been buying Czech beads from the start. Preciosa is very nice, so are...well, I haven't been disappointed by anything they've produced yet. Which is now like 16 years worth of beads (wtf)
That is DIABOLICAL museum design, A++, no notes
looks at you
looks at you
@bettsplendens i'd just like you to know that this is my favorite comment on this post and i'd like it to be memorialized
There's a line in the book epilogue that implies that Book!Grace does end up full Left Hand Of Darkness-ing it with the Eridian pronoun situation. And while I don't actually think that Mr. Taught Middle School In 2020s San Francisco would do this, I do think it's really funny to envision a version of things where the Eridians are like "Well we don't know what this 'gender' is so we will just all match signifiers with Grace :) as a gesture of friendship and respect :)" And poor Grace is like "No please you don't have to . . ." but he's too late. He's just making logs like "Okay I know this is gonna look really bad at Second Contact and I did try to explain things but they were really insistent :( I'm sorry Ursula :("
I mean, there’s an argument to be made that is gender is social, rather than biological. In this case, Grace is functionally genderless now, because his surrounding culture does not construct gender at all.
Was driving with my grandmother and in broken English she says “no eyes… no nose… no face. Don’t trust.” To which I looked around wildly in search of this omen of ill portend.
Cybertruck. It was a cybertruck.