The Bitch-King of Angmar

Anglican, autistic, asexual, and androgyne. Semi-professional shitposter. I write fanfiction and try to make money.

[cloacacarnage]

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

[futureblackwakandan-deactivated]

Wtf????

[theryanproject]

Smoove with it too 

[meqabitch-deactivated20200901]

This is the kind of shit you see in anime that shows that a certain character is stronger than other characters. 

[bankuei]

“Pathetic.  You can’t even hold the bat you dare step to the plate? Have you no respect for the sport?”

[pardonmewhileipanic]

reminds me of this gif

[sueanoi]

[batter-sempai]

Baseball players are to be feared

[cynosurecosplay]

[thenamesdede]

Reblogging for the last one

[saito-91]

^Same for me

[amuzed1-deactivated20241106]

They just kept getting progressively more “woah”

[scp2008]

much woah

[lord-blongus]

Oh my god this is a lucky universe

[cleoselene-deactivated20260315]

every time this post comes around, my favorite part is the “I know it’s the Mets” qualifier at the beginning lmao like how baseball that this zillion note posts starts with “sorry for putting this hellteam on your dash, bUT”

[lostspirit101]

Y’all have no idea how hard I was trying not to laugh in class at that poor bird

[wazimoomoo]

They…they just blew up a fucking bird…

[greatcomputerearthquake]

Ball’s dead. Bird’s dead. I’m dead

[charlesoberonn]

Venn diagrams don’t really work past 3 circles.

[charlesoberonn]

4-circle Venn diagrams are problematic because they don’t include the intersections of opposite circles without also including one of the other two circles (in this example there’s no AC or BD)

The problem only gets worse with more circles.

[charlesoberonn]

You could solve this problem by using different shapes, like ovals

[spinninggear]

[up-north-values]

[iamthegps]

God I love math

[inktheblot]

the true plot twist of gravity falls is that stanley is the smart twin and ford is the biggest dumbass in 52 dimensions

[miasimiagoria]

Stan: I’ve run a very successful business for thirty years while rebuilding a portal with one third of the blueprints and no help from a demon.

Ford: It says not to summon him but he called me smart so he can’t be that evil

[jetzflare25]

Mabel: I got close enough to a murderer to steal his weapon, uncovered a government conspiracy, found a way to get Mermando from the pool to the lake, broke a bunch of clones out of their prison, stopped a demon from getting the information he needed, came up with an efficient way to defeat a zombie horde, sewed an actual light source into my sweater, basically performed a successful exorcism without damaging the body, found the secret door to the basement, and nearly all of that was without the help of the journal.

Dipper: It says not to read the spell aloud but it probably doesn’t summon that many zombies, the agents can probably handle it.

[ultimatebottom69]

History REPEATS.

[redrobinhoood]

Coruscant Guard + Guide to Troubled Birds

[awed-frog]

[ruffboi-mags]

oh artisanal. Wow that is bad kerning.

[yeehawfolk]

Having ADHD is like. Yes, I want to do things and become a success. No, I Do Not control the Brain, I am but a humble cashier under it's horrifyingly inept Upper Management.

[fiery-lune]

I saw this tiktok on twitter and I just had to 😂

[broadwaytheanimatedseries]

this is so much more well animated than is called for

[dahliadear]

So myself and two best friends got matching tattoos that say Κύριε ἐλέησον. It’s pronounced Kyrie Eleison and in ancient Greek means “Lord have mercy.” It’s one of the oldest Christian liturgical prayers and features in the Bible, and when Christianity became Latinised, it as one of the only surviving Greek prayers.

Just for fun I plugged it into Google Translate to see what modern Greek thinks of it and

10/10 A+ tat so glad its marked on my skin forever, would tattoo again

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

Thanks OP you ruined the liturgy for me.

[bunjywunjy]

never gonna hear The Hunchback of Notre Dame soundtrack the same way again

[kamen-rider-zed]

Frollo: Ima kill this baby

Choir in the background: Dude fuckin chill

[pottamux]

Frollo: I’m gonna set her on fire

Choir: Dude… chill

[what-even-is-thiss]

My entire church singing in unison: ♫ Sir, please calm down! ♫ Calm down, sir! ♫ Sir, please calm down! ♫ Take it easy, sir! ♫

[argumate]

LORD, you’re making a scene

[blackkatmagic]

I now have this reflex of getting the fuck out of any fics even just starting to blame the Jedi Order. Like I read half a line and I literally nope out even before I can truly think about it.

Life’s too short to read fics that bash your faves, and I will die on that hill. 

[iamthegps]

Me, when somebody sneaks that into a fic I was reading:

[catchymemes]

[freetheshit-outofyou]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

this bitch empty, TWEET

[adobsonartworks]

Have any of you heard of the Harvard MIT Pigeon Prank?

An MIT student dressed in a black-and-white striped shirt went to the Harvard football stadium every day of one summer, blowing a whistle while scattering breadcrumbs or birdseed to coax neighborhood pigeons down onto the field. At Harvard’s opening game of the season, upon the referee’s first whistle, it’s said that hundreds of pigeons descended onto the field, causing a half-hour delay. 

[randomfandomteacher]

Ah yes, classical conditioning put to good use

[iamthegps]

This reminds me of the grudge-holding crows.

[iamthegps]

Oooh, only a dollar! And autographed too! This reminds of a woman I went to college with who had a life-size standee of Thorin Oakenshield in her bedroom... Scared the crap out of me every time. 

[sixpenceee]

A lizard seen sleeping in a rose. Photo by Megan Hixson.

[bookofwonders]

Keeps your nipples toasty warm!

[iamthegps]

The 1970s was the worst thing that ever happened to men’s fashion and if you disagree with me I’m sorry but you are wrong.

[crim-bat]

I’m not sorry

[sexycraisinthanos]

this is my favorite Star Wars post

[he-who-ships]

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

[deadcatwithaflamethrower]

This would have solved a lot of problems and created a whole bunch more and they’d all be VASTLY ENTERTAINING.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[swan2swan]

We really don’t talk enough about how Artoo went into the desert to find Obi-Wan because no kid would be stupid enough to follow him into Tusken territory and then this kid chases him down and gets beaten up and his unconscious body is dragged back to his landspeeder and Artoo looked down and went “This one. This one knows how to have a good time.”

[sniperct]

#he’d had adventures but really all those rebels were too cautious for him#he’d served Anakin Skywalker there was just no coming back#and then there’s this nerdy kid who kinda sorta reminds him of that guy#and then Obi-Wan says “your father wanted you to have this” and pulls out ANAKIN’S KRIFFING LIGHTSABER#and Artoo just EXPLODES because NO WAY THIS IS THAT KID??!#and he cross-references his old memory banks and THERE’S PADME NAMING THE KID “LUKE” THIS IS THE KID#THE WHOLE TIME HE WAS TRYING TO RUN AWAY FROM ANAKIN’S SON#NO WONDER HE COULDN’T ESCAPE#also no wonder he could fool this idiot to take off the restraining bolt#HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN#and he was ride or die forever#and about two days later he DID die#but he got better#so really WOW this guy IS the best#artoo detoo