The Case For "Yet" - A Thought Dump
Hey.
So I'm taking a Coursera course on "The Science of Success" because I'm on summer break and don't want to waste my brain in the hopefully-last-summer before I get my B.A.
And Module 2 talks in depth about the Growth Mindset and Carol Dweck's research around Growth vs Fixed mindsets.
I've been learning about the Growth Mindset theories since I was 18 and starting at a community college. I'm 26 now, and still a year out from completing my Bachelor's degree. I didn't know what to make of the theory at first, and now, 8 years later, I have a LOT of thoughts and anecdotes.
If you're like 18-year-old Atlas, maybe this will help you, too?
When I started college at 18, I didn't want to take the SAT or ACT, since I was homeschooled and was scared of my test score. I knew I was considered gifted in elementary school, but I hardly felt smart anymore. I'd been planning for college since I was 12 and the only thing I was really sure about was that I wanted to study music production and call it a day.
Plot twist, we're on a whole different track now. Sometimes you have to get creative when your cross-country-move at the start of senior year drops you somewhere that doesn't offer music production or audio engineering in community college.
I studied "multimedia/video" at my first (of three) community colleges, because the local uni's music production program was called "Multimedia Arts Technology". Turns out I was in a program for video and graphic design and I couldn't even draw that well at the time (which is something I've been working to change ever since).
After a year in that program, I switched to another CC closer to home, and studied music (sorta; they were advertising a music specialization that the catalog no longer held). By the time I was at the end of that, realizing I wasn't beholden to music since my specialization didn't exist, I was 22 and had taken classes in philosophy, poli sci, psych, sociology, journalism, and countless other things, trying to figure out what my backup plan was. By that point, music had sort of diminished as a special interest anyway.
Oh, right, I also found out I had ADHD and autism between 2020 and 2021.
I took a semester off and then decided to explore graphic design again, with one class in social work, as I waited to see what kind of financial aid I'd get from the universities that I'd applied to. One of the schools I'd applied to was a uni I saw as kind of elitist... and then I started looking into their programs and fell in love. Not only did I get in, with the best financial aid package of all the other schools I applied to, but then I told my primary care doc at the time (I had an appointment the day I found out), and that's how I learned the uni I had just been accepted to was considered a Public Ivy with a low acceptance rate.
... I joked to my parents, "should I apply to Harvard and see what happens?"
I entered university at 23 as a semi-medicated person with auDHD who was more than a little nervous about what I was getting into. Turns out, entering uni at 23 when all of your classmates are 18-22 is an interesting experience and I knew more than most people because I was older and had spent so long at community college.
I kind of wondered what might've happened if I'd applied there first and skipped community college.
Then I remembered who I was at 18:
Dealing with disabling levels of social anxiety that prevented me from doing a lot of things and asking good questions.
Unmedicated for ADHD and having no clue I was autistic, so I was constantly trying to force my brain to do things, instead of knowing better ways to work with myself.
Smart, yes, but disorganized and easily stressed out.
Who I was at 23 wasn't much better:
Was sure I could talk to people... at a distance. I didn't expect to make friends beyond a semester, since I hadn't made any super-long-lasting friendships at community college.
Just barely on a usable dosage of a med that finally worked, and still not sure how to work with the autism that was still relatively new in my self-understanding.
Smart, yes, but disorganized and easily stressed out.
At 26, I'm scared of burnout in my last year. I'm anxious about unforeseen setbacks like the car accident I had last September. But I made friends at uni, people who have helped me to heal (though I'm still working on it). Some of them graduated exactly on track, which is great for them, and our friendships have persisted. One moved to Japan and we still still talk. The secret for me was to make autistic friends.
I'm currently not on meds, and sometimes it shows, but I have more skill at managing around it now than I did before. I'm hoping to get meds back before September.
I'm still smart and disorganized and easily stressed out, but these things are getting easier.
I think this should be considered when people talk about growth mindsets and the idea of "yet" vs "not yet"; I needed time and practice and growth to get to where I am, and I would've missed out on a lot if I'd tried to follow the standard 4-year timeline.
Additionally, a handful of important skills (a few of which I learned from other autistic people) have made a huge difference.
I so desperately want to close-read everything, but I'm also a speed-reader when I'm not close-reading. This past semester, I'd sometimes forget readings for a class until the start of the class period (unmedicated, remember?). My professor was aware of this and gave me grace, which helped when I was prioritizing other classes. Several times, since the readings were within the realm of hyperfixation, I could read it by skimming and scrolling to force my eyes to keep up. I'd skim down the middle of the page a few times (5 or so) until I had the gist of the meaning. (I feel bad for the classmate that watched me do this repeatedly with a bewildered look as I then turned to him and had a discussion about the text. He openly said it took him hours to read the 18-on-average page readings.)
Within the first few weeks of a semester, you learn whose lectures supplement the readings, and whose lectures repeat the readings. Then you know which readings to prioritize.
I've been writing for 19 years, which is longer than some of my classmates have been alive. A few semesters ago, we had a paper due for a class whose readings were dense theoretical texts on social justice education (Paulo Freire and bell hooks, for example). We had to pull from at least 4 of the 16 texts we'd been assigned so far, and I couldn't get more than a paragraph into any of them. I started the essay about 4 hours before it was due, and somehow put together a decent essay based on what I could remember reading and searching for keywords to illustrate points. I told myself if I got a passing grade, I'd reward myself. When I got full points and a note saying it was clear I'd understood the subject material, I bought myself a Steam Deck.
I think part of success in college/uni can be attributed to building on what you know and using your strengths to your advantage as often as is relevant. Learning new things now will help you later. And if that doesn't prove that a growth mindset works...
