a lean mean do nothing machine

Art blog: Ihrkulovin.tumblr.com

[tatzelwurming]

i show a neanderthal a doom metal album and they understand implicitly. they pick up a bass guitar and start to play it instinctually

[homo-neandertalensis]

Was made to groove

[tatzelwurming]

my man

[squidsmeister]

something vindictive but ultimately harmless I do at work is that if you’re at my register and you’re rude to me and you pay with cash I am finding the most disgusting desolate fucked up unspeakable coin I can to give to you. oh you were mean to me? you’re getting the yucky nickel bitch

[mudkipzzz]

[weeniebagel]

"to smithereens" is one of the worst things to be blown to. right up there with weezer

[hemipenal-system]

every fantasy game with race-based factions is like

elves are GRACEFUL

dwarves are INDUSTRIOUS

hobbits are SMALL

Evil Race Here

humans FUCK

[inbabylontheywept]

Elder Scrolls is like:

Elves are RACIST.

Dwarves are GONE. They're also ELVES.

Everyone is ELVES.

Except for ARGONIANS. Who are LIZARDS.

Humans FUCK. LIZARDS.

[slack-wise]

[todaysbird]

fun thing about herding and/or generally neurotic breeds: they are really good at following rules you have instituted, but they will also make their own Dog Rules they will follow stringently whether or not you like it

[todaysbird]

despite never being reprimanded for getting sick if my dog throws up she will ‘tattle’ on herself and run over to me, show me the throw up, then hide and start shaking uncontrollably. nobody taught her to do this. she has decided that throwing up is a punishable offense until the end of time

[ajarofpickledtears]

[todaysbird]

my dog has decided that it’s solely on her shoulders to ensure there is peace in my house…if the cats fight she stands between them to ‘break it up’ and/or herds them away, if my rats have an argument she goes to the cage door and barks until they stop. not sure why she has decided she must carry the weight of the world but she has

[fauxcoral]

[animentality]

[amediocregamer]

the only reason I go on Reddit now is to find these bad two sentence horror posts. they're great. they're bad. but they're great.

[creature-crow-deactivated202512]

has anyone noticed that to clean smth u often have to get smth else dirty

massively fucked up

[creature-crow-deactivated202512]

like where does it end

[cipheramnesia]

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

im not christian but i do believe in the power of prayer. for this reason i keep a little homonculus in a dog crate under my bed which i have raised as a devout catholic. whenever i want something in my life to change i poke him with a stick and he clasps his grubby little paws together and starts chanting in latin. his prayers always go through because he has never known sin

[fandomsandfeminism]

I think you can tell a lot about how rigorous and committed someone's belief in a human right is by how quickly they are able to name people who they think could or should have that right taken away.

[fandomsandfeminism]

Like "X is a universal human right. (This doesn't include Y people though)"

Either you think X isn't actually a human right, or you think Y aren't people.

[fandomsandfeminism]

Some folks really did go straight to the replies to prove me right.

[bewbin]

therapist who is trying to run the clock out: so tell me more about how naruto has affected ur life

[bewbin]

therapist 3 hours after our session time had expired: so sasuke just leaves??? after all that he still chooses to go? wtf. no wonder ur fucked up

[mrsterlingeverything]

Grabs you by the hips real sexy and pulls you into the paper shredder with me

[vicholas]

everyone is always like "jason kills people who have premarital sex because the movies support conservative values" or "jason kills people who have premarital sex because the movies are criticizing conservative values"

why is it never "why do people keep having sex near the cursed lake with the undead guy" or "how can we be so sure that he only targets couples having premarital sex and not just sex in general, what if it's just sampling bias"

[vicholas]

what if we're all looking at it in the wrong way.

what if it's not that jason specifically targets people who have sex but rather that people nearby jason can't help to have sex because his presence makes them horny. because of his pheromones.

[thememedaddy]

[shutupimthinking]

girl you've been running through my mind all day

[shutupimthinking]

not in a cool sexy way though, girl.... kinda like this.