Where are your fingers? @ijustaboredmatt - Tumblr Blog

I found a big snail today but forgot to get a picture, he was a good boy

i was about to joke about how my political stance is “end lawnmower culture” but then it occurred to me that i actually Am against lawns as suburban status symbols and wastes of land that Could be used to sustain native flora & fauna and grow food for people, but no, instead they are these huge useless swaths of land that need Constant maintenance, the process of which is not only destructive, but Incredibly Loud

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You know that actually is the purpose of a lawn? They started as a trend of the French monarchy - the ones revolutionaries beheaded for being self indulgent assholes.

It exists purely as a status symbol that says, “I have land but I don’t have to use it for anything productive. I can invest time, money and resources in maintaining an entirely useless crop on land I’m not farming just because it looks pretty.”

Lawns offend me.

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Why have that stunted golf course in front of your suburban house if you can’t even water it? Get one of these instead.

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Unite Against the Lawn

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Pro tiny house, anti grass lawn. Prioritize practicality.

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This is actually really interesting because back in the 1950s and 60s in Australia when we started getting large waves of Southern European migrants one thing the Italians and others would often so is buy a little suburban home, then tear out the ornamental flower beds and lawn and useless trees and plant fruits, vegetables, grapes and even olives. It was considered completely scandalous by their Anglo-Saxon neighbours because lawn was considered an aspirational thing and the ideal was to go from not needing a kitchen garden and having an ornamental garden to show how well you were doing.

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when i was at the san antonio botanical gardens last week they had a whole setup of tiny faux houses showing different potential layouts to alternate yards!! the focus of the exhibition was on replacing a lawn with other plants to conserve water (they partnered with the san antonio water system for this); lawns just…don’t do well in draught conditions, as you could probably guess. meanwhile native plants are VERY well adapted to the climate. from their website:

WaterSaver Lane features six cottages that demonstrate different types of drought-tolerant landscaping, including one showing what not to plant! Find a variety of landscapes that minimize lawn and include more groundcover, perennial flowerbeds and herbs, native and adapted plants, and patio space.

here are a few of their examples (the exhibit has full mini yards to see but im pulling these pics off their website):

cottage garden

spanish courtyard

hill country

they also have an adapted version of the traditional lawn. i know that this is a very lawn-abolitionist post, but in this particular hot take on the lawn discourse they’ve shown how replacing traditional lawn turf with low-water grass species, perennial shrubs, and shade trees can create the same kind of look in a more environmentally friendly manner:

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We should normalize giving me milkshakes because I deserve them

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Mayor Cuts Down Man’s 30-Year-Old Majestic Tree, His Revenge Is Awesome

This is one of the best stories we read in a long time. An arborist AKA a tree caretaker and tree surgeon from Redondo Beach, California had to watch the death of one of his favorite trees, which was ordered by the mayor. Although he lost a great battle, he won the war. Find out how he avenged the death of his 30-year-old pepper tree named Clyde.

His story was recently shared online and has already been shared over 150k times. RIP Clyde.