[leavingaway]

[the-lumpfish-queen]

*touches ground* forg was here

[leninisms]

“coke is better!” “pepsi is better!” wrong. squirt supremacy.

[leninisms]

i posted it and then i heard it

[pptiny]

Im gonna derail.

This Is my cat. His name is Squirt.

Squirt supremacy.

[leninisms]

SQUIRT SUPREMACY!!!

[grimauxiliatrixofficial]

[karcatgirl-vantas]

the default way for things to taste is good. we know this because "tasty" means something tastes good. conversely, from the words "smelly" and "noisy" we can conclude that the default way for things to smell and sound is bad. interestingly there are no corresponding adjectives for the senses of sight and touch. the inescapable conclusion is that the most ordinary object possible is invisible and intangible, produces a hideous cacophony, smells terrible, but tastes delicious. and yet this description matches no object or phenomenon known to science or human experience. so what the fuck

[skluug]

this is what ancient greek philosophy is like

[beesmygod]

[gets down on on knee] oppa…marriage style?

[cyberpigeon]

it’s 2016 not 2012

[beesmygod]

oppa rude style :(

[stunningpicture]

Perfectly timed wedding photo

[busket]

so she’s marrying a shark in disguise right

[aisandetsarepeopletoo-deactivat]

when will my reflection show

who i am

inside

[andhumanslovedstories]

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either

[andhumanslovedstories]

Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines

[thomrainierskies]

I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”

every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid

[zenosanalytic]

#you are not immune to the recency bias(via@arrows-for-pens)

[morethanonebraincell]

Every person on earth needs to read this post. It will make people’s lives a lot better and lessen the crises everyone faces in day-to-day lives.

[shinymanticore]

So yesterday I went to take banana, peeled it, and came back to show my partner because wow, this is a VERY STRAIGHT banana !

Like abnormally straight !

!!!

[thememedaddy]

[justsomeguycore]

the front seat of the car is a type of confessional

[justsomeguycore]

i genuinely think that physically it’s easier to have hard conversations when you’re both facing forward, not having to look at each other. the catholic church knew this also

[twinflamedreams]

[la-venere]

nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back

[la-venere]

THIS ONE

[phthalooo]

i can see it

[hamster-is-tired]

ITALIAN MANWHORE SUMMER

[icarus-died-laughing]

always reblog italian manwhore summer

[galren]

check out this periodic table

[galren]

I have made a lot of bad jokes but this is still probably my greatest hit

[h8saltrat]

Forever a favorite

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[curoopeez]

I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.

[curoopeez]

While I'm sure a lot of people would agree with this post, I didn't mention any day of the week nor brought up color theory, so unless people take this reply as a challenge this is gonna be just another flop

[secretly-insane]

I mean you could write a haiku. Those work sometimes. Haikus are hard though.

[the-haiku-bot]

I mean you could write

a haiku. Those work sometimes.

Haikus are hard though.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[unexplained-events]

Reported Bigfoot Sightings

[mavenmemnon]

[lalaithion]

[808sandamenbreaks]

Can’t believe Bigfoot was looking at furry porn while reading Martha Stewart in an IHOP

[phaeton-flier]

He tips well so we leave him be

[morefunthanb4]

No!

[coyotebuegwater-deactivated2016]

[cheesepress-deactivated20191231]

look at this stock photo

[lunaeregia]

there is so much energy in this image

[broannalmao]

He’s got his toast in the napkin holder :/

[donnasweettttttttt]

that’s why she snapped

[jackironsides]

THAT’S A TOAST RACK, NOT A NAPKIN HOLDER

[cdarklock]

To be fair, I have a napkin holder almost exactly like that, except it only has one slot. Why would you need multiple slots? But I don’t know where that one is store, so since someone said “what the fuck is a napkin holder,” here is the one on my table right now

[baddywronglegs]

OK that looks way less like a toast rack than I expected from someone mistaking the above toast rack for a napkin holder

[baddywronglegs]

No:

Toast comes out of toaster, goes in toast rack

Take toast out of toast rack and put on plate

Add your choice of toast toppings

Enjoy toast

So you can carry more than one person’s worth of toast from the toaster to the table and grab toast as you want it.

I’m assuming this is one of those US/Rest Of The World things so, for the benefit of US readers:

Toast racks. Racks for toast. Like the rack the man in the above image has put his toast in.

Don’t put napkins in it, or you get the Saucepan.

[hungwy]

its so crazy that headphones work. play the same sound in both ears and it sounds like its literally happening inside you