ScientistAU Wangxian Part 3
Welp, I needed dopamine today, so we get more in this universe.
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Wei Wuxian prided himself on his seemingly endless spirit in the face of dire circumstances. He had, in his youth, felt there was no challenge he could not overcome, too brazen, too confident, too proud, and always smiling.
It had been three days, perhaps four, since Wei Wuxian had stopped trying to appear well. It had finally shocked him, his appearance in the mirror, the sadness in Lan Wangji's eyes when he stumbled into the bathroom by accident. That look, betraying the normally cold countenance, the unphased man carved from jade seemed to crack. And, for a moment, Wei Wuxian wished this could be listed as a side effect: People will not look at you the same.
He had been naked. It was not the first time Lan Wangji had seen him naked, but it was the first time Wei Wuxian had the strength and wherewithal to care that another's eyes could look at him, truly look at him. And, nausea threatening to upset an otherwise good morning, he wished Lan Wangji had walked in on him in the nude some three or four months ago when he still had some muscle on him, a pad of fat on his thighs. When his ass was still glorious and ethereal and inviting.
He showered beneath a cold stream of water that morning, hoping it would center his thoughts. It's not as if Lan Wangji would have cared to look at him when he was in better shape, anyhow. The shower didn't help.
On an evening some days later, Wei Wuxian's head was on Lan Wangji's shoulder. A movie was playing on the television that Lan Wangji bought because Wei Wuxian was prone to boredom whenever his caretaker-roommate-crush had to go into the lab. He didn't devote any attention to the plot, his thoughts drifting to the sight of Lan Wangji opening the door and the quiver of his bottom lip.
He had never loved nor hated Lan Wangji more than in that moment. Why did he have to realize it then? When he was certain Lan Wangji wouldn't feel the same for him?
"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji said, a finger brushing over his cheek.
"Sorry, Lan Zhan. I'm feeling a bit tired."
"Mn." Lan Wangji rose, and before Wei Wuxian could follow, an arm appeared underneath his knees and another underneath his back. Lan Wangji began to carry him to the bedroom.
And only then, in his arms, Wei Wuxian began to laugh again. "Do you know, Lan Zhan, I'm going to die a virgin? I mean, what an embarrassment. Don't tell anyone. I should have a good reputation. When you remember me, tell them I was once devilishly handsome. Don't tell them about the tragedy of the thirty-one-year-old devilishly handsome virgin, and his pure, untouched hole."
"Nonsense," Lan Wangji said.
"God, please tell me you didn't believe all that bullshit about the girls and guys I was seeing. I mean, anyone who's not you would've known I was making it up. Or at least thought I was making most of it up. You're too good, Lan Zhan. Too good!"
Wei Wuxian was cackling. Lan Wangji sat down on the edge of the bed. He was too far and too close. Wei Wuxian had no excuse for himself, yet he tugged at Lan Wangji's shirt until the other man lay down beside him. If he were healthier, he would have had to be drunk to confess to such things. But Lan Wangji had prohibited alcohol while he was under treatment. And, for once, Wei Wuxian listened.
"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji said softly.
"Do you know, I've never seen anyone as beautiful as you? Guy or girl. It was always so annoying on dates. No one frowns the way you do, with that perfect little pout."
"You shouldn't say things you don't mean."
"But I do! I mean it! A few times, more than a few times, I got to a front door or a drink inside, but then I'd find some excuse to go. Since undergrad, when you caught me sneaking Emperor's Smile into the lab. I even went on a date—a coincidence; I wasn't even looking for it—with a guy who almost looks like you. But it was all wrong. Cause he didn't know how to be angry with me. Fuck, you're really a problem for me, Lan Zhan. And I'm going to die a virgin because of you. So you have to know. It's all your fault." Wei Wuxian propped himself up on his elbow and looked down at Lan Wanji, whose hair had fallen away from his face, revealing two blushing ears, vividly red as beets. "You're really a problem for me. I think you ruined me for everyone else. And now you're like this. Nice, caring, perfect Lan Zhan. Do you know what you're doing to a girl like me? If we were in old times, you would've had to take responsibility."
"I'll take responsibility," Lan Wangji said.
Silence passed between the pair.
"What?" Wei Wuxian asked, dumbfounded.
No force was required to tug Wei Wuxian down. He collapsed into Lan Wangji's chest, and then the man guided his chin upwards until their lips brushed together, a whisper of a kiss. "I'll take responsibility."
And, for a moment, as Lan Wangji kissed him, Wei Wuxian thought that Lan Wangji had taken his sickness away. His body felt warm and whole and thrilled for tomorrow. And he thought he might live forever if Lan Wangji never stopped kissing him.