this blog started as an effort to start sharing my thoughts with the void instead of having to find someone to listen š I will not be censoring myself here in any way besides to not get banned (maybe)
I am transmasculine genderfluid and use it/he pronouns š
I am multiply physically and mentally disabled, including AuDHD and (currently seeking dx for) EDS
All that said;
This is an 18+ blog!!!
minors please DNI (are DNIs adhered to or anything like that? I don't care, but my target audience is adults-please respect that.)
Okay, wanna know more?! Read on š
Some basics and a selfie to start š
I'm into a little bit of everything tbh š¤ I'll try to update these as I think of things-
Alt text for any of my posts is welcome! I struggle with that kind of thing
THIS IS IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER
things I love:
clowncore ā punk culture ā art ā painting ā needlework ā kidcore ā maximalism ā civil rights ā diy art ā diy clothing ā k!nk ā cg/l sfw & nsfw ā cnc ā petplay ā bunnycore ā music ā magic the gathering ā house md ā copaganda dramas ā anecdotal gender experience ā anecdotal chronic illness experience (physical and mental) ā dolls ā monster high ā barbie ā bratz ā fashion dolls ā art dolls ā non-art dolls ā makeup ā femboi ā steven universe ā criminal minds (before season 16) ā omegaverse / a/b/o ā linguistics ā ncis (gibbs included only) ā tone indicators ā spiderman/spiderverse ā the color lavender ā lilac flowers ā dragonsblood incense ā vanilla, citrus, musk, clove, deep spicy non-floral scents ā the magnus archives/protocol ā poison ivy/harley quinn ā my little pony (mostly g4, never g5) ā fluttercord ā atla/lok ā tabistry ā bulbasaur ā old man yaoi ā queer history ā punk history ā history of any of my interests, really ā P!nk
things I do NOT fuck with (and will be blocking enthusiastically):
J.K. Rowling/HP Universe | Mark Harmon (Gibbs) | p3dos | kinkshaming | calling NPD or BPD inherently abusive | Isr3@l | pro-lifers | Ru$$!a | MAGAts | Z!0n!sts | B!g0ts in general ofc | sealioning | N@z!s | transmeds | TERFs/LBG w/o T's | Neil Gaiman | Taylor Swift |
I will
happily
answer ANY good-faith questions!
...I ran out of things to say š³
Uh, drink water, fed is best, eat if you hate everyone and sleep if you think everyone hates you, you are sexy and Enoughā¢ļø. Free Palestine, fuck whoever you want (safely, consensually, and of appropriate age as applicable ofc), no one cares if you look silly, doing your best is good enough, and I love you anyway. Do something that makes you smile today ā¤ļø
the vent art youāre referencing in that post is almost definitely a piece by @/zykeroth on here, bc iāve reblogged it a lot of times lol. hope you find it if you havenāt already!
It's 100% possible this is it and i misremembered the red, i follow both @zykeroth and @hemipenal-system for sure lolol-thankuuuuuuuu <3
Might cry, stole this quote (under cut) from a comment on a TikTok about phantom wing syndrome by @anonymously.in.lo7
I can't find this vent art of someone lying in bed(?) with their wings sketched out (like this gif but it's a different drawing) in red with the words "something's missing" or something like that and i rly hope someone finds it and gets it to me šā¤ļø
Also, if you don't want your ability to feel your wings to be scientifically theorized, keep scrolling ā¤ļø
@Kai_Remingtonš£:
"Hi! Someone who has experienced āphantom wingsā for as long as I can remember and is a med student here! This is actually pretty common and doesnāt necessarily point to any medical issues or that anything is wrong with us. Hereās a longer explanation: Neurologically, the brain has a surprisingly flexible ābody mapā called the somatosensory homunculus. Itās capable of generating sensations for configurations that donāt exist physically. This doesnāt require trauma or amputation, it can happen naturally due to how your brain organizes sensation and imagination. This happens to many people with the feeling of limbs that may or may mot have ever been there like legs, hands, wings, tails, ears, and horns too! If your mind has had a strong mental model of wings since childhood, your brain can genuinely create a felt sensory map for them. This is not delusion. Youāre not claiming they literally exist. Youāre describing the SUBJECTIVE SENSATION, which is a real, studied thing. Knowing what it feels like to dive, hurt them, the ache of a long flight. That level of detail usually comes from kinesthetic imagination, a real measurable trait. Some peopleās brains simulate physical sensation so well that it feels like lived memory. Your brain has a blueprint for where limbs should connect to a torso. Wing placement lines up near: the scapula, the latissimus dorsi, and the trapezius. This area is extremely expressive in humans, itās why emotions tense your shoulder blades, and why you may feel āpressureā or āawarenessā there when imagining wings. When your brain imagines wings, the body map activates those muscles as if they are the wing base. You are literally feeling a real brain-body signal. The cause is internal, but the sensation itself is genuine.
I really hope this helps and you find it as interesting as I do! Perhaps in the next life we will get our wings back friends!"
is the world really such a terrible place? yesterday i asked if oat milk was extra and the barista said yes so i said ok just regular milk then and when she gave me my chai latte she whispered āi used oat milk ;)ā doesnt that make u want to live another day?
here is my life philosophy: next week there might be someone ahead of you in line at the store whoās short a quarter and you have a quarter and you can give it to them. if you werenāt there, theyād have to put something back. the week after that you could be getting lunch and the waiter might ask if you want some pancakes someone else ordered and never picked up. you could find someoneās lost cat. you could watch someoneās bag while they go to the restroom. there are so many ways you are going to touch other peopleās lives and they are going to touch yours and thereās no way to know when itās going to happen. so you have to keep living!!! i wouldnāt want to die knowing that tomorrow the barista will give me free oat milk just to be nice.Ā
When I was 11 years old - we went to Sea World for my birthday. This was to avoid the realization I had no friends, and no one to come to a birthday party and probably because someone gave my mother free tickets at work. It was kinda a shitty day despite being at a theme park full of cute animals. There was a new roller coaster there that had just opened so we decided to go on. I was nervous. Iād never been on a roller coaster.
A group of 6 college kids were ahead of us in line and started chatting with me. Full on just having a fun conversation with someone literally going through the beginning of a very awkward middle school period. I was so shocked they wanted to talk to me. I think my mom mentioned it was my birthday. They were very nice about it. When we got on the ride they told us to go ahead of them so we could sit at the front of the car since it held 8 people.
Now the ride (called Journey to Atlantis - I believe it is sadly no longer there) started with a slow ride of beautiful visuals of dolphins and oceans and computerized images of this imaginary Atlantis before going up the hill to the beginning of the coaster, where it paused for about 30 seconds, and then the ride started. The college kids must have known there would be a pause. Maybe theyād ridden it before Iām not sure.
But as we sat there on that peak, 6 people Iāve never known, and will never know again, sang a very very lonely 11 year old happy birthday. Loudly. And with gusto. They were happy and laughing and joyful. And it made me feel less alone in the world.
I am 29 years old this year, and I still remember them. I still remember that kindness. It is so important. It doesnāt go into a vacuum. It exists beside me in my daily life. And I love the idea that I have been that person to someone else too.
Itās stunningly lovely to be human when weāre kind to each other.
I sit in my wheelchair like this all the time! Seeing ambulatory wheelchair users on TV is so unheard of! Yes I wish they'd used a disabled actress, but I'm also SO convinced with the addition of the k-tape on her arm at the end that the character has hEDS and we love to see representation T^T
