Hi there, I'm Josie

| Fander | Ravenclaw | 22 years old | | Pansexual | Thespian | Musician | Aries | | any pronouns | Is a broke college student |

[ultrafacts]

Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

[just-the-way-youre-not-blog]

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

[keeping-up-with-the-jenners]

Reblogging because I care about you guys

[bonnieblue85]

Important

[ladyofthefanart]

Rohypnol has an INCREDIBLY salty taste to it. It’s disgusting. And it also isn’t a drug that acts immediately! The minute you notice the salty taste, you have about 5-10 minutes to get somewhere safe or call an ambulance, and it CAN be fought if you’re aware of it. It will make you woozy, it will make you so dizzy you can’t stand upright, it will certainly make you unable to walk properly, but if you struggle to remain conscious you can get about 20 extra minutes of consciousness from the drug before it will knock you out completely. If you’re in a public place, and the person who drugged you is trying to take you somewhere private, start. a. fight. Insist as LOUDLY and as VIOLENTLY as you can that you refuse to go anywhere with them. Odds are they’re trying to make as little of a scene as possible as they drag you away, and if you’re putting up a fight and very clearly ‘drunk’, eyes will turn on them and they’ll either need to let you go, or cause a serious scene, which they don’t want. Don’t just act like you’re just protesting being taken home, though. Fight like your life depends on it even if they aren’t assaulting you. Cause. A. Scene. That’s the last thing they want. 

[spsyched]

Everyone should reblog this!

[mizukiinozomii-blog]

Very useful.

[sunshynn12]

Be aware! These are very useful tips. Fight. Do not be a victim. Be a warrior. Always!

[bullshannon]

Help to all that need it

[averagejoe316-deactivated202003]

Knowledge is power.

[unleashingthelady]

EXTREMELY POWERFUL INFORMATION‼️‼️🙋🏻‍♀️

PLEASE REBLOG‼️‼️

[missy-vixen-deactivated20200821]

Instant reblog! I want to add,

• the elbow is the strongest point on your body, if you are close enough - use it. also if you’re being attacked, never strike the torso like in the movies. the groin, eyes, ears, nose, and throat are much better places to punch

• if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, do not hand it to them. toss it away from you, chances are they will be more interested in it than you. then run like a mad man

• if you need to break a car window aim for the edges/corner, not the center where the glass is the strongest

• if your garage doors need maintenance, leave it to the pros. garage door springs can kill you

• if a tornado looks like it’s not moving, it’s moving towards you

• if someone suspicious comes up to you and asks for directions, do not break eye contact. if they tell you they need help with their car behind you, don’t turn around. if they ask what time it is, bring your phone/watch up so they’re still in your view

• if a predator has a gun and you are not in control, always run! preferably in a zig zag pattern

• keeping your bedroom door closed could save your life in the event that a fire happens

[theeerie8]

Reposting helpful comments/reboots I found. (credit is included in the photos)

[shortvideosandstuff]

[the-absolute-best-posts]

[organicslut]

[crowsent]

remember, this is for a DOOR lock.

remember that when picking a DOOR lock, you have to apply a little bit of pressure to your tension wrench (the thing that you use to turn the knob). too little or too much and you wont be able to pick the door open. you can use anything for the tension wrench. a bobby pin. bits of wire. a paper clip. etc.

its best to be completely silent when youre picking locks bc theres this small ‘click’ when youre picking that you might miss if youre using headphones or listening to music.

.

if youre picking one of these

you jam something thin and long above one of the rotation dials and you push up on the shackle.

. if its one of these

you get yourself some shims. (or make one. you can make shims out of fucking soda cans), you wiggle them in the tiny space between the shackle and the body of the lock, and you pop these suckers open.

. for a chain deadbolt,

you get something flexible but sturdy and you just push this fucker down

. for one of these rotating combination locks

you can also shim this motherfucker open. jam your shims between the shackle and the body and pry it unlocked. if, for some reason, you dont wanna shim it open, maybe you dont have a shim or you just like a challenge, this bitch can be decoded ridiculously easy. heres what you do:

spin this bitch to the right about two or three times to “reset” it. then you pull up on the shackle a bit, and turn it right slowly until you hear a click. your number is two spaces further. then you turn left 360 degrees until you land on the right number again, and start turning this motherfucker left until it stops. when it stops, turn right. if its loose, its the wrong number, keep going left. if its not loose, you have the right number, and you turn right all the way until this bitch pops

.

now you know how to pick several common locks!!!!! congratulations!!!!

[summerwithaniinit]

Thanku

[parental-tendencies]

This seems relevant again

Memento Mori, Unus Annus

[imtherealjose]

God I am fucking ready for someone to fucking snap my fucking neck and put me out of my misery

[thestuffedalligator]

This was funnier in my head

[tiny-sub-bun]

If this was funnier in your head, I’m astonished you’re not just wheezing and laughing silently on the floor

[imtherealjose]

Hello Back!!

Yes, I know it's been a while. I know y'all have probably not missed me, but I'm back and better than ever. If y'all wanna ask some q's, go for it

[jehovahhthickness]

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

[cowboybootsandunderwear]

Rebloging because, no shit, I just recieved a scholarship for $1500…

[jehovahhthickness]

Ayyyyyy I’m here for it

[valyavalkyrie]

Please, so I can have money for the doctor and kinesiology

[jehovahhthickness]

I hope you get more than that.

[thefourtwentytimes]

that $1,500 would help my situation immensely right now.

[imtherealjose]

As a broke college student, I need this

[im-pretty-bored]

Don't feel ashamed of doing "CHILDISH" things

•buy toys/dolls/crayons •play with Legos •play old videogames/dress up games •weave friendship bracelets •watch cartoons •use stickers •draw pics of your favorite characters

If it makes you feel nice, do it. Don’t even worry about what other people think, because it doesn’t matter–if it brings you happiness, it’s not “ridiculous”, or “immature”.

You deserve to enjoy yourself.

[blackbearmagic]

Let me share with you what I consider to be the most important less I’ve learned in my adult life:

“Growing up doesn’t mean you can’t have Zebra Cakes. Growing up simply means that, if you want to have Zebra Cakes, you buy them for yourself.”

“What the hell are you talking about, Bear?” Well, let me explain. For those of you who live outside of the US, this is a Zebra Cake:

It’s a little pre-packaged snack cake that is horribly cheap and junky and really not that great, but it is like manna from heaven to me. I fucking love these things. When I was a little kid growing up, my mom bought Zebra Cakes but once in a blue moon. They were intended to be put in mine and my siblings’ school lunches, but my brother and I would eat them whenever we wanted, so Mom just didn’t see the point. (They also used to be kind of expensive, at least for our family’s budget.) Needless to say, the coveted Zebra Cakes were a luxury for me, and were one of the tastes of my childhood.

Fast forward to my college years. I was living in an apartment with three other people, doing my own shopping and cooking. I was in the grocery store, picking up some stuff, and I happened to walk past a display of snack cakes. Among them were several boxes of Zebra Cakes.

I paused at this, chuckling to myself. Oh man. Zebra Cakes. I haven’t had those in years. I loved those when I was a kid. I reminisced happily and thought about how much I missed the taste of Zebra Cakes, then started to walk away.

And then I stopped dead.

Because I had realized that there was literally nothing stopping me from buying a box of Zebra Cakes. There was nothing stopping me from buying ten boxes of Zebra Cakes. If I wanted Zebra Cakes, I could have goddamn Zebra Cakes, because it was my money and my decision to make.

I put two boxes in my cart (they were 2 for $5) and never looked back.

Here’s the secret I learned that day: The idea of something being “just for kids” is, by and large, bullshit. What you do on your own adult free time with your own adult money is, by its very nature, adult stuff. It’s like comedian Eddie Izzard (who frequently performed his routines in drag) once said when someone asked about him wearing ‘women’s clothes’: “They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them.”

I am 25 years old, and yesterday I bought myself a shark lunchbox. Look at it. Look at how awesome my lunchbox is.

Was this lunchbox intended to by bought for and used by a child? Yes. The tag said it was for ages 3 and up. But it was bought by and will be used by an adult, and anyone who thinks that’s wrong is probably just jealous that they don’t have the self-confidence to rock a shark lunchbox at 25.

So like. Being “mature” and “an adult” doesn’t mean you have to completely abandon the things that made you happy when you were younger. It just means that you may have to approach them in a different way. 

[tpfaulkner]

Pay attention, there’s a lesson here

[thecreach]

I hesitated reblogging this, and I am not entirely sure why.

[bitemebat]

LEGO. I just turned 42 and I have LEGO sets allllll over my house. Why? Because I wanted them, and because it is my money and I will spend it how I like, MOTHER.

As long as you aren’t bankrupting yourself, buy the things you *want* to buy, the things that bring you JOY.

[hotdogsngiggles]

you are missing out on so much if you just stick to “adult things”

[peachesandplumsmotherchucker]

Zebra cakes make an excellent “the secret to happiness” metaphor.

[ramblingtoaster-deactivated2017]

My wedding cake will just be hundreds of zebra cakes stacked together

[haiku-robot]

my wedding cake will just be hundreds of zebra cakes stacked together

^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. Help keep my meatbag slave alive. Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Beep-boop!

[saltoftheao3]

This doesn’t really fit the theme of my blog but i’m drunk ernough that this sounds like the most profound shit ever so read and learn and go write shitty fic about your favorite childhood anime. Go write Pokemon and Sailor Moon and Toy Story fanfic. There’s no age to enjoy things so just gi do your thing and be glorious you fucking glorious moron

[hebic]

I refuse to be ashamed of taking juice boxes in my lunch, despite being in my early 30s.

[butchtj-deactivated20190316]

Do any other american high schoolers have intense survivor’s guilt and trauma with school shootings even though they weren’t at your school?

[butchtj-deactivated20190316]

Like. A laser tag place opened geared towards teenagers and it got no business, we tried to enjoy it but when someone pointed a laser machine gun at me and I instinctively dropped behind the nearest wall and reached to turn off my phone I cried, I wasn’t the only one. The announcements system turns on at an unexpected time and everyone holds their breath until they say something besides “locks, lights, out of sight,” nobody even jokingly pops chip bags anymore, a door slammed really loud during a class change and everyone dropped and ran. Everyone cries during drills, even the toughest ranch kids. Every drill comes with a full day of teachers crying and telling us that they love us all so much and will die for us, and every kid in every class looking around wondering who would I die for? Who would die for me? You walk to the bathroom and wonder every second if it happens right now, where will I go? You test supply closet doors to see which ones are unlocked, you memorize which furniture in the teachers’ lounge your English teacher says is light enough to barricade a door with. The fire alarm goes off and nobody moves, instead you wait for gunshots—it a trap? You stand with a group of freshmen and realize that you’re the oldest, you know you’ll have to die for them. You forget your ID tag and worry that now the police won’t be able to tell your parents if you’re safe, or not safe. Your stats teacher has a baseball bat by the door, your math teacher keeps a stapler under each desk to throw, your drama teacher asks who will be willing to stand by the non-locking door with the Shakespearean swords. Your yearbook teacher tells you don’t worry about breaking a camera because you heard about the kids who died holding them. You don’t use the bathroom during classes because you don’t want to be the only target to shoot at. You keep your phone on silent 24/7 because you worry the one time you forget will be when you get your whole US History class killed. You have a snap saved with your class schedule and school and full name to send in an instant to your internet friends so they know if you were on that wing, you have a note saved with the things you want your mom to know and the things you’re sorry for. At the age of 12 I was told I needed to know who I would die for and that it was okay if it was nobody, that was my decision to make. School shootings control us more than adults and non-Americans could possibly imagine and nobody moves to change anything unless we’re actively screaming for it. Have you considered we’re too scared?

[evilwriter37]

This my friends, is why America is a dystopia. And I live in it. I’m a college student and we have alarm tests. They warn us beforehand but it’s still freaky because you wonder: “What if this goes off for real? Where will I be? What building? Fucking outside?” The fear continues past high school.

[rettaroo]

I haven’t been at a school that runs these kinds of drills, but I find myself running them in my head anyway. In classrooms, I’m always assessing where a shooter could come from/where I could hide. I get pretty anxious if my back is turned to a door or window, especially an open one. Any crowds out loud noises on campus have me panicking before I’ve processed them.

[r--g--b]

Listen, even if you haven’t personally experienced it, something changes you when you go through drills with teachers you’ve known for 3-4 years, and they tell you essentially the administration has no plan for these situations and that if the worst comes to worst they will die for you. Or when you have a genuine lockdown and you look at your friends and laugh nervously because you don’t know if you should be running or staying quiet.

[rosebadwolf1000]

I remember when I was in high school not knowing if it was drill or not and crying. Then the principal came on the announcements and said someone accidental hit the button. 

I was surprised when someone didn’t shoot up my graduation.

We were all waiting for the day when one kid would come to school and get us all. We are in a small town and very pro gun people too so many would make light of the drills, and I would too sometimes, after they were done but during them it felt way to real and i would shush anyone who would talk in our hiding spots…

[nimblelizard]

Cool ol “fun” fact this school year alone we’ve had two false alarms. Nothing like it goes off and we immediately get an announcement saying it wasn’t real, but sitting in a classroom hiding for 15-20 minutes wondering if we are actually gonna die or not. Both times I’ve texted my mom scared that maybe it is real. Last time it happened it was during our passing time and everyone had to rush into a class that wasn’t theirs. As we waited a kid a year younger than me was asking me if I knew if we were safe. And of course I stayed optimistic and just said yes. But what if we weren’t? I hate that the threat of a school shooting is so prevalent in my education.

[rosebadwolf1000]

WTF THAT’S HAPPENED WTF WTF WTF DUDE DUDE WHAT

[dailypattondoodles]

My math teacher keeps her door shut and locked at all times. She says that it’s for protection.

WE DONT EVEN HAVE A PLAN FOR IF WE GET SHOT UP

Adults ask: “why do you hate school so much?”

Well maybe because of this. I’m pushed to a standard I’ve failed to reach multiple times and I could die at any time.

I could die on the way to school because of a careless driver. I could die at school, at anytime time due to someone with a gun. I could die after school when no one suspects to get shot.

But of course, only my grades matter to everyone outside the school

[goosewithajob]

If anyone tries to tell you that Shakespeare is stuffy or boring or highbrow, just remember that the word “nothing” was used in Elizabethan era slang as a euphemism for “vagina”. 

Shakespeare has a play called “Much Ado About Nothing”, which you could basically read in modern slang as “Freaking Out Over Pussy”. And that’s pretty much exactly what happens in the play. 

[kiralamouse]

It’s also a pun with a third meaning. There’s the sex sense of much ado about “nothing”, there’s the obvious sense that people today see, and then there’s the fact that in Shakespeare’s day, “nothing” was pronounced pretty much the same as “noting”, which was a term used for gossip. So, “Flamewar Over Rumors” works as a title interpretation, too.

The reason we call Shakespeare a genius is that he can make a pussy joke in the same exact words he uses to make biting social commentary about letting unverified gossip take over the discourse.

[ms-demeanor]

Hey, hey, hey, you’re forgetting the fourth thing, that noting (again, pronounced note-ing) was a pun on music NOTES and that’s why there’s a shitload of singing and dancing and puns about singing and dancing because Much Ado About Noting is basically Freaking Out Over Pussy The Musical: Gossip Making a Mountain out of a Molehill.

[justalurkr]

Today I learned

[drgaellon]

TIL why Shakespeare is probably the greatest English-language writer of all time.

@copperbadge

[copperbadge]

My preferred modern-language translation for this is “I Cunt Believe He Said That”. 

[martianaviator]

If you have a child and they are creeped out by a nephew or older brother touching them or looking at them a certain way, you need to have a serious talk with that person and keep them the hell away from your child. Don’t minimize it or tell your kid to hug them anyway, that kid is picking up danger signals they don’t even understand yet. But so many families will tell that kid they are being a brat.

[pajamajamas]

thankyou

[perfectlycriminal]

A quick note- this applies to female relatives as well. One of my aunts ignores my little brother’s requests not to hug or kiss him (he has aspergers and doesn’t like physical contact with people he is not very close with). I have repeatedly placed myself between the two of them and had to tell her to back off and stop trying to “desensitize” him. Whether or not there are “danger signals,” it is not okay for adults to invalidate a child or teen’s request for boundaries. We need to teach children now, when they are young, that they can say no to these things and that other people can too.

[vampirejuice-deactivated2019112]

And this applies even if the relative isn’t giving bad vibes. Just in general teach your kids that they don’t have to have any physical contact for someone else’s sake if they don’t want to. 

[irondadfan]

Never not reblog

[bakugou-klancey-lance]

if you receive this you make somebody happy. go on anon and send this to ten of your followers who make you happy or somebody you think needs cheering up. if you get back even better uwu. ♡✨

@royaloof @stardoesart @spammamm @repetitive-tautology @deanwaterkeep @kmn-please @spaladin @seaglass-sunsets

[repetitive-tautology]

Awwwwww

@bakugou-klancey-lance @a-fan-of-almost-everything @peachfuzzles @ihateitwhenyourejustvague @hgthephoenix @fandoms–fandoms-everywhere @glitched-fox @toonertea @yoranced @throwawaymyhandcuffswhenurdone

[foolblue]

I MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY?! :DDDDDDD

@repetitive-tautology @sortablue @shesavampirequeen @cold-and-analytical @really-sleep-deprived-nerd @softestvirgil @dodos-in-damnation @dewdrop828

[dodos-in-damnation]

*gasp* awww I make u happy???? U make me happy toooooo so @ihateitwhenyourejustvague

Alsooo @lotusthatexists-festivestyle and @superwholocked-for-life are epic dudes, check em both out, their stuff is epic

And yeah then there’s @hickory-h again you always put such nice stuff on my posts. Same with @mycatshuman

@eatmoarveggies has some really, really great sides (check em out on @ask-villegas-sides) and is just an overall great person

Again, @lifein-confusion is so epic, your fics make me so, so happy as well as your general existence

And yeah honestly guys I just love you all, you all make me super happy just because you follow me, so thanks a lot for that <3

@merlybird500 @noctisvale @taurusgold89

I will take any chance I can to shower you guys in love hehehe thanks for being there

[mycatshuman]

Oh goodness. Uh.

@miserykillme @roman-flair @civilsounds17 @rememberfateau-nowoffical @vampy-personal @youre-lazy-and-youre-gay0-0 @white-spirit-of-darkness @fantastical-virgil-rain @ukaia @sunshineandteddybears @insanelycoolish

All of you marvelous and wonderful human beings can and have brought smiles to my face. I hope there are things out there that make you smile too.

[white-spirit-of-darkness]

Well now I’m smiling huh

@imtherealjose <3 @bondingrazzledazzletime @thinkbelivepositive @lyricsdontneedrhyme @wedealwiththis

[imtherealjose]

Bdisjrjwidh3osnfbbr well... I guess I can think of 10 🤞🤞🤞 @sandersidesquotes @sanderssides-incorrect @not-so-innocent-bi-sander @notveryglittery @thatsthat24 @thejoanglebook @tallykat3 @fangirltothefullest @katatles-the-fish @lovelylogans

[catchymemes]

[im-basically-logan]

Happy late Birthday, Virgil!!

To celebrate me and @robanilla​ did a collab. She did the wonderful lineart and I colored and shaded it and made the background.

The largest piece I’ve worked on and my first collab. (regular png is 4 MB and the gimp file is a whopping 17 MB)

Hope you like it! @thatsthat24​

Comments and Reblogs appreciated! Don’t repost art. Also click it! It’s a very big image!

gen and art taglist: @his-dark-strange-son @bleaktuber @imtherealjose @analogical-trash @allthemetalsoftherainbow @confinesofpersonalknowledge @allfavoritesaside @liztriestoart @virgilsandersisbae

[staff]

A better, more positive Tumblr

Since its founding in 2007, Tumblr has always been a place for wide open, creative self-expression at the heart of community and culture. To borrow from our founder David Karp, we’re proud to have inspired a generation of artists, writers, creators, curators, and crusaders to redefine our culture and to help empower individuality.

Over the past several months, and inspired by our storied past, we’ve given serious thought to who we want to be to our community moving forward and have been hard at work laying the foundation for a better Tumblr. We’ve realized that in order to continue to fulfill our promise and place in culture, especially as it evolves, we must change. Some of that change began with fostering more constructive dialogue among our community members. Today, we’re taking another step by no longer allowing adult content, including explicit sexual content and nudity (with some exceptions).  

Let’s first be unequivocal about something that should not be confused with today’s policy change: posting anything that is harmful to minors, including child pornography, is abhorrent and has no place in our community. We’ve always had and always will have a zero tolerance policy for this type of content. To this end, we continuously invest in the enforcement of this policy, including industry-standard machine monitoring, a growing team of human moderators, and user tools that make it easy to report abuse. We also closely partner with the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the Internet Watch Foundation, two invaluable organizations at the forefront of protecting our children from abuse, and through these partnerships we report violations of this policy to law enforcement authorities. We can never prevent all bad actors from attempting to abuse our platform, but we make it our highest priority to keep the community as safe as possible.

So what is changing?

Posts that contain adult content will no longer be allowed on Tumblr, and we’ve updated our Community Guidelines to reflect this policy change. We recognize Tumblr is also a place to speak freely about topics like art, sex positivity, your relationships, your sexuality, and your personal journey. We want to make sure that we continue to foster this type of diversity of expression in the community, so our new policy strives to strike a balance.

Why are we doing this?

It is our continued, humble aspiration that Tumblr be a safe place for creative expression, self-discovery, and a deep sense of community. As Tumblr continues to grow and evolve, and our understanding of our impact on our world becomes clearer, we have a responsibility to consider that impact across different age groups, demographics, cultures, and mindsets. We spent considerable time weighing the pros and cons of expression in the community that includes adult content. In doing so, it became clear that without this content we have the opportunity to create a place where more people feel comfortable expressing themselves.

Bottom line: There are no shortage of sites on the internet that feature adult content. We will leave it to them and focus our efforts on creating the most welcoming environment possible for our community.

So what’s next?

Starting December 17, 2018, we will begin enforcing this new policy. Community members with content that is no longer permitted on Tumblr will get a heads up from us in advance and steps they can take to appeal or preserve their content outside the community if they so choose. All changes won’t happen overnight as something of this complexity takes time.

Another thing, filtering this type of content versus say, a political protest with nudity or the statue of David, is not simple at scale. We’re relying on automated tools to identify adult content and humans to help train and keep our systems in check. We know there will be mistakes, but we’ve done our best to create and enforce a policy that acknowledges the breadth of expression we see in the community.

Most importantly, we’re going to be as transparent as possible with you about the decisions we’re making and resources available to you, including more detailed information, product enhancements, and more content moderators to interface directly with the community and content.

Like you, we love Tumblr and what it’s come to mean for millions of people around the world. Our actions are out of love and hope for our community. We won’t always get this right, especially in the beginning, but we are determined to make your experience a positive one.

Jeff D’Onofrio CEO

[imtherealjose]

Finally something is happening

[imtherealjose]

GUYS!!!!!!! I HAVE A THOUGHT

So you know how 2018 is 20 Gay-teen, right??? So I was thinking tha of 2019 could be

20 Bi-teen

I don't know if someone had already said that, but I just had the idea and I thought it was really cool

[galacticchaosminion]

Thomas is a very adorable and sweet guy but if he dropped all expression and had an attitude he would be one scary and badass mf dude. He needs to play a villain RIGHT NOW

[notafeeling]

have u listened to the heathers recording where he plays jd bc uhh Thats Good Shit

[galacticchaosminion]

I think i have heard a few but are you able to send me any?

[notafeeling]

act 1 (i think u wanna skip to just before fight for me to where jd is calling ram and co dickheads/assholes, freeze your brain, me inside of me, dead girl walking, our love is god)

act 2 (hes in this part a LOT uhh heres another link that lists the songs and which ones jd is in but keep in mind thomas acts here too so u dont wanna just skip to the songs)

if you only care about the songs heres a playlist that just has him singing as jd

[lucifer-in-my-head]

HEY UM @milomeepit DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE RECORDINGS

[romanasanders]

THERE ARE RECORDINGS?!

[the-incedible-sulk]

Bless

[galaxy-lilies]