100% Correct Quotes from Tolkien's Works

A collection of incorrect quotes from the characters of Tolkien's books. Mostly Silmarillion based. Inbox is open and submissions are always welcome. Feel free to follow my main @immortalcliffmarleau

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

PSA: I, the owner of this blog, am a gay jewish trans man, and if you voted or support people who voted for donald trump, I want you to unfollow me right tf now.

and also I hope you die <3

[the-zenith-calls]

My favorite scenes in the LotR books are the ones where Legolas has vital information and just decides it's not important to share.

Like when Gandalf spent literal PAGES trying to figure out why the vibes were off in Moria and Legolas chimes in with just "it's a balrog :) that shit's evil :) we're so fucked :)" like what do you MEAN you knew already and just didn't tell him??

Or at the beginning of Two Towers when Aragorn thinks there's something nearby so he puts his ear to the ground to listen, and then like 10 minutes later is like "hmmm i hear horses" and Legolas is just like "mm yep. there are 105 blond bitches with spears" like you just let your friend put his face in the dirt and you can SEE them??

Legolas please gain a sense of urgency

[knives-in-the-dishwater]

It's because legolas hasn't spent enough time with non-elves to remember that they don't know what he knows.

gandalf is scratching his head in moria, and legolas is thinking "oh man, the wizard noticed something off *besides* the obvious balrog that we all are aware of??"

"I wonder what aragorn is listening for? must be hard to hear, what with all of the horses. How many horses are there, actually? 1... 2... 3..."

[taavicleric]

"What do your elvish eyes see?" is Aragorn saying, as politely as possible, "Because the REST OF US are at a significant disadvantage, Prince Dipshit."

[writerxwren]

Since Julius Caesar shares this illustrious anniversary with Eowyn 1v1ing the Witch King of Angmar it's time to put this question to rest

Answer carefully or risk getting stabbed yourself 🔪

Roman politicians

Eowyn

Voting ended onMar 21

[welcomingdisaster]

god willing someday I will write a fic where Feanor gets to groundhog day the swearing of the oath. except instead of unswearing it he keeps thinking that if he just adjusts the wording a little bit it’ll all work out perfectly

[welcomingdisaster]

@cuarthol yes perfect thank you exactly this

Feanor: Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean, brood of Morgoth or bright Vala, Elda or Maia or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh -- lest he taketh with the purpose of surrendering to us -- or afar casteth -- lest 'tis, like, a "ey, catch this" sort of situation whereupon they cast it in our own direction-- a Silmaril. I shall now take a moment to elucidate that we work on a priority-basis, starting from the greatest foes to the least, so that in a hypothetical situation in which both Morgoth and a lesser foe are both in possession of some number of Silmarils we are duty-bound to address Morgoth first and the lesser foe second, even if the latter task seems more easily accomplishable. On that note I should also like to make clear that children below the age of fifty are considered noncombatants and ought not be cast aside to die in the woods. In a hypothetical situation where our black deeds have left us unworthy to touch the stones will also swear we shall wear proper PPE, including thick leather gloves and goggles, if we come to possess them. This swear we all: death we will deal him ere Day's ending, woe unto world's end! Our word hear thou, Eru Allfather! To the everlasting Darkness doom us if our deed faileth. On the holy mountain hear in witness, and our vow remember, Manwë and Varda!

SoF: ...

Feanor: On second thought I think I'm taking the Darkness thing out--

[crillina]

Ten hours later

Feanor : children here Is the best version

Hear me out

Amras : dad we are Hungry.

Feanor : not now son .Where Was I....

Teleri 1 : it Is 1 AM. I GET YOU DONT WORK BUT SOME PEOPLE HERE DO . GO TO SLEEP

Teleri 2 : Think of your children. They are slepy and Hungry , go home .

...

Meanwhile

Mairion : my lord where are those Feanorians you talked about

Melkor : I dont know precious. Maybe the Lost the way or something, or they went tò the wrong fortress

Mairion : the wrong fortress ? WE ARE THE ONLY ONE HERE MASTER

Melkor : I DONT KNOW.

[erumelde]

Éomer: What’s the plan?

Aragorn: The plan is we win.

Éomer: Solid. Let’s ride.

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Fëanor: so you wanted to kiss me all night?

Nerdanel: yes.

Fëanor: even when you were yelling at me?

Nerdanel: yeah, then too.

Fëanor: so is this some sort of recent development in your life?

Nerdanel: wanting to kiss you? No. It's sort of always been there. Like white noise.

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Maedhros: I told Caranthir his ears go red when he lies

Maglor: why?

Maedhros: because I can do this:

Maedhros: hey, Moryo, do you love us?

Caranthir, hands over his ears: no, you suck!

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Éomer: sister, you know it's possible to solve your problems without the use of excessive violence, right?

Eowyn: yeah but I'm really really good at excessive violence.

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Finrod: and what are you two doing here?

Curufin: we're here to help--

Celegorm: actually, we're here to make everything worse

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Sam, to Merry and Pippin: I have complete faith in you both!

Sam, whispering to Frodo: there's like a 40% chance they'll both die.

[dagnyart]

You won't believe bc last time I drew him in 2020 BUT I'm still here, you can't stop loving Silm, so.. here some Feanor for you and happy St. Valentine day everyone! Also you can find old silmart collection in my blog using# I can draw something for you too ( check pinned post in my blog)

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Caranthir: your polls are slipping, dad.

Celegorm: better get with it.

Fëanor: boys, being your dad isn't an elected position. I don't have to respond to polls.

Amras: not elected?

Amrod: you mean, you can govern with dictatorial impunity?

Fëanor: exactly.

Maedhros: in short, open revolt and exile is the only hope for change?

Fëanor: I don't like the direction this conversation is going.

[nyxshadowhawk]

Which Lord of the Rings characters say fuck:

Aragorn: definitely says fuck, and has to catch himself and tone it down when he becomes king

Boromir: yes. "They have a fucking cave troll."

None of the hobbits do; at least, not at first. Pippin picks up swears from Boromir, and Sam will swear under duress

Gimli: swears all the time, but mainly in Khuzdul. He definitely tries to teach Khuzdul swears to Legolas

Legolas: swears very rarely, and usually in Sindarin, which sounds so pretty that it goes unnoticed. Gimli often tries to goad him into swearing

Gandalf: knows all the swears, but doesn't say them

Galadriel: used to swear when she was younger, but that was thousands of years ago, and she no longer does.

Eowyn: swears constantly. every other word.

Faramir: swore once, and still regrets it.

Gollum: doesn't know any swears, but would say them if he did.

@fadedkat

[fantasyinallforms]

Tonight, we remember one who lent his enormous talent to telling the story we have all come to love. Hail, the victorious dead!

May the Simbelmynë cover his tomb as it did the tomb of the one he so accurately portrayed.

Bernard Hill Dec 17, 1944 - May 5, 2024

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

I am a Witcher fan (books and games) and also a fan of Tolkien's universum.

I have scrolled down to look at this anonymous person who had sent you strange messages and I am sincerely sorry in the name of fandom, for this peace disturber.

I hope you don't see us all as weirdos like them, and wish you have a good day.

thanks, baby, this is such a sweet message <3

nothing to worry abt or apologise for, tho - I have nothing against the witcher fandom nor hold the fandom as a whole accountable for one weirdo!

you have a good day too, my friend - and thank you for enjoying my silly little posts

xx

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Bilbo: Frodo, m'lad, cherish your youth. Some day you'll wake up, and you'll say "who's that old man in the mirror?"

Bilbo: and then the old man will punch you so you'll realise that's not a mirror, it's an open window, and that old man is not your reflection, it's the Old Gaffer.

[windyreads]

This post had some sort of mature content warning. Why???

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

no idea but it should be fixed now - thanks for pointing it out! 🫶

[incorrect-tolkien-quotes]

Bilbo: Frodo, m'lad, cherish your youth. Some day you'll wake up, and you'll say "who's that old man in the mirror?"

Bilbo: and then the old man will punch you so you'll realise that's not a mirror, it's an open window, and that old man is not your reflection, it's the Old Gaffer.