No one’s done it so I’m doing it!

Welcome! I’m Jess and I love Black Mirror!

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Lowry, to Daly: I'm sorry you found my normal behavior to be highly inappropriate.

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Elena: I love my crewmates and would defend them with a plastic spoon but at the same time I would trade every single one for a Kit Kat.

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Nish: You have no idea what I’m capable of.

Rolo: Don’t take this personally but I feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake.

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Packer: So what did you do when Lowry asked you to be her girlfriend?

Nanette: I panicked and dabbed.

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Robert: How friendly is this server?

Nanette: Fuck you

Elena: Fuck you

Valdack: Fuck you

Packer: No, fuck you

Lowry: Fuck you

Dudani: Fuck you

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Joe: What kind of tea is this?

Matt: Oh I boiled some gaterade.

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Question: Would you fuck your clone?

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Katie: I’m not sure, but there’s something wrong with this… fucking game, I swear to God…

Cooper: Yeah, it’s the person operating it!

Katie:

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Yorkie: You’re supposed to bang your fist against mine.

Carrie: Why?

Yorkie: I’m told it’s a widely accepted gesture for mutual success.

Kelly: I love it when you two impersonate normal people.

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Nanette: Shania sees the glass as half full, I see it as half empty.

Nanette: That's why we make a good team.

Nanette: Nate, on the other hand, just drinks right out of the bottle.

Nanette: Kabir wonders why it has to be a glass.

Nanette: And Elena usually breaks the glass by putting her feet up on the table.

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Cooper: What’s your biggest fear?

Sonja: Failure.

Cooper:

Cooper: That's deep.

Cooper: Mine‘s spiders but I feel kinda stupid about it now.

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Nish: When crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when I do it I’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on’.

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Blue: Freeze! You’re under arrest for robbery!

Karin: Wait but what did I steal?!

Blue:

Blue: My heart.

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Nick: So what's your favorite part of working with Karin?

Blue: Watching her trying to be okay with today's slang.

Nick: ...What?

Blue: She had to tell me something today that wasn't entirely ideal so I said "Thanks! I hate it!" and got to watch her fret for a few minutes before very slowly telling me “you're welcome.”

Nick: ...Be nice to your mentor, Blue.

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Amy: I’m cold.

Frank: Here take my jacket.

Ash: I’m cold.

Martha: Well damn Ash, I don’t control the weather!!

Yorkie: I’m cold.

Kelly: What? *taking off jacket* I told you to bring more layers but of course you didn’t listen and now- *piling scarves on her* Now look, I’ve got to make sure you don’t FREEZE to a second death and- *taking somebody else’s hat* How long have you been cold you should’ve said something sooner-

[garnetislovegarnetislife]

bitch i want a whole fucking series revolving around nish, her mom, and carrie traveling around the world bringing about justice for and hanging out with all the people who were wronged in the black mirror universe

like they get bing and abi out of the fucking place where they’re stuck, they free lacie and her buddy from prison, maybe stop into san junipero to say hi to yorkie and kelly, log on to infinity and say hi to the uss callister crew, hang out with karin and blue for a while, say fuck you to kenny, check on how michael is, see where victoria is and how she’s doing, find a nice home for jamie, steal joe’s cookie, hack into and unblock matt, find liam someone who actually loves him and would never cheat on him, give their condolences to cooper’s mom, find sara, help martha and her daughter have closure, all that shit

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This is a bit confusing at certain points but here is a pretty much full comprehensive alignment chart of 76 of the most prominent characters in Black Mirror