Incorrect Grishaverse Quotes

[incorrectgrisha]

Alina: I’m trying not to be mad at Zoya, but man that girl can push my buttons.

Tolya: What did she do?

Alina: Look, I don’t want to talk about it, ok?

Tolya: Well, it just seems that-

Alina: You wanna be on my list too? Keep talking. Has anyone seen my list, by the way?

Tamar: Uh, no. What’s it look like?

Alina: It’s a piece of paper that says “Zoya” on it.

[incorrectgrisha]

Harshaw: I’m a father.

Adrik: It’s a cat, Harshaw.

Harshaw: She’s my blood!

[incorrectgrisha]

Inej: You’re the worst at pranks in the whole world.

Wylan: No, I’m not!

Inej: Yes, you are. You either go way too small-

Past Wylan: Let’s pout some juice near her shoe.

Inej: -or way too big.

Past Wylan: Let’s hit her in the throat with a ski.

[incorrectgrisha]

Tolya: Can you imagine not being human and living out your days as a weeping willow? Beautiful? By the water? Unburdened? Ideal.

Tamar: I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything.

[incorrectgrisha]

Genya: Zoya, next question: you are into Nikolai.

Zoya: That’s not a question.

Genya: So you agree, it’s a fact.

[incorrectgrisha]

The Darkling: (after doing an Evil Monologue™️) How did none of you hear what I just said?

Nadia: I’ve been zoned out for the last two and a half hours.

Harshaw: I got distracted about halfway through.

Zoya: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

[incorrectgrisha]

David: Are the terms “exit” and “enter” really necessary or valid? When you exit, you always enter somewhere new, a new place to discover and explore, exiting is only entering into another space full of opportunity. The same can be said for entering, when you-

Genya: Dear, it’s four in the morning.

[incorrectgrisha]

Alina, about Nikolai: He has perfect pitch.

Mal: And yet, it’s imperfection that makes people truly interesting.

[incorrectgrisha]

Tolya: Do you miss Zoya?

Nikolai: You can tell?

Tolya: There are two things in this world you cannot hide: sneezing and love.

[incorrectgrisha]

Wylan: “What happens if you put a werewolf in the moon” is a great question. Probably the best question ever asked.

Matthias: He’ll explode and die because there’s no oxygen on the moon.

Jesper: He never said to send him up without a suit, you absolute monster.

[incorrectgrisha]

Jesper: Now I’ve ruined everything.

Kaz: Ni. You gave us a way out.

Jesper: So I fixed everything?

Kaz: No, you made things difficult in a new way. But I can make it work.

Jesper: We’ll, the important thing is I did something.

[incorrectgrisha]

Harshaw: You never forget your first.

Adrik: Your first what?

Harshaw: Cat.

Adrik: That is never what people mean by that.

[incorrectgrisha]

Zoya: I can’t be too mean to Kirigin, but I also can’t lead him on.

Tolya: Nikolai told me not to let him get hurt tonight, so I’ll keep him away from you.

…

Count Kirigin: Have you seen General Nazyalensky?

Tolya: Zoya died eight years ago.

[incorrectgrisha]

Zoya: Where did you come from, planet loser?

Alina: As opposed to planet look at me, look at me!

[incorrectgrisha]

Genya: David, what are you doing?

David: I’m eating because I’m very uncomfortable.

[incorrectgrisha]

Alina: You manipulated me!

The Darkling: Ok, I’m not just gonna stand here and listen to you accuse me of things I clearly did.

[incorrectgrisha]

Jesper: Just to avoid accidentally offensive language I’m going to start using 90s surfer dude slang because inadvertently offending someone is totally bogus dude.

Nina: Some people might not want to be called dude.

Jesper: You are radically right and that is so not tubular my friend I apologize.

Kaz: I find your poor grammar and spelling to be offensive to my eyes.

Jesper: Watch me catch this gnarly wave of I don’t care.