imperceptible, infinitesimal, astronomic

call me X -- 22 -- queer -- any pronouns -- kin sideblog -- please see #readme.txt for more info

[infinitesimal-oblivion]

had a moment where I almost didn’t post this. realized that I made this blog for a reason and I’m not going to throw it wayside because of my anxiety. regardless, this is a vent post. heed the tws.

TWs: alcoholism, exotrauma & trauma, venting

it does feel awful to experience any form of exotrauma, certainly worse when said exotrauma most certainly has very rooted issues in both the far past and the more recent, more bodily past. I don’t drink. I have no interest in doing so due to plenty of concerns and issues. that being said, I’ve a kintype who did and your local Enderborn kin is Not having a good time. what a feeling to be dwelling on at the end of the year, yeah? awful. utterly disgusting. I don’t want to be drunk, but maybe I do want a glass or two. just to take the edge off things. for a little bit. I won’t. because I’m scared and I also respect my body and myself more than that and I’m trying to get better. but it’s a temptation. until then, I guess I’m listening to Nothing But Thieves’s Honey Whiskey until it passes.

[infinitesimal-oblivion]

and they ask me, with audacity in their lungs, “do you remember the sun?” do I remember the sun? what a foolish question. it’s like asking the river if she knows the rocks, the ocean if it knows the dark, the forest if it knows its hart. oh yes, I remember the sun and all her beauty and terror and woolen spun. and she is in my veins, like the stars are in your eyes. gold ichor, your kind mistook mine for holy. they did not ask why the fairy tale is Grimm. or realize that we’re speaking lessons, not wishes, not hymn. and so they wander the woods looking for something they can call home. oh young, young soul... return back to what you’ve known. this place is not yours to own.

[infinitesimal-oblivion]

I think the hardest part about being kin w/Enderborn is that I feel incredibly awkward about the whole thing.

not, persay, in a "I feel bad about this" way, but in a "I don't know how to interact w/others and the fandom is kinda very much dead".

so... its not exactly easy. I'd love to reblog some awesome art I've seen because, damn, folks manage to grasp the feeling so much but I also don't want to overstep my bounds.

guess that's a positive I've found w/in the HLVRAI kin community, though. a good portion of them tend to tag when it IS or ISN'T ok to tag as kin and I respect and love them very much for that, bless y'all so much.

[bonemoji]

i think abt this line constantly

[ittybitty-enby]

FELLOW TOMMY KINNIES, WHAT IS YOUR WISDOM FOR TODAY?

[infinitesimal-oblivion]

Pet dogs and go to bed before 3 in the morning!

[infinitesimal-oblivion]

actually, no, wait I have a wonderful idea to start this blog/s

AKA: I have a minor gripe with something and I kind of want to speak to it, you know?

regardless, why is it that the main posts I see under the “faekin” tag is like... fairies? no shame to the more modern day versions of them (i.e. Tinkerbell), I actually quite like them myself, they’re just not what I’m kin w/. so... where do the faekin that are closer to the older tales go? I’m curious if there’s even more than a handful out there? (I know, I know, curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back!)

I just think it’s an odd observation, is all. I can tell you for certain, however, that I do not remember being tiny or cute or any thing of that nature. I do remember my antlers, many eyes, my teeth, and the kind of quiet watching from afar.

[infinitesimal-oblivion]

it occurs to me... that I’m not certain how to start using this blog. in my defense, it’s been a very long time since I was open about this kind of stuff? wish me luck, I guess, lol.

[infinitesimal-oblivion]

pertinent information

welcome to my little corner where I sit here and try to make sense of myself.

I would have a carrd if I wasn’t old and knew how to make one, but that’s what this is for.

who am I

call me X, please, unless you know me from elsewhere or I say otherwise

I’m a 20 year old queer adult who’s been in and out of this community for awhile

I go by any pronouns, though I think I’m beginning to be partial to [THEY/THEM] and [FAE/FAER]

otherkin & fictionkin

this is a sideblog. I’m not keen on giving my main out outside of the interactions I’d have to do from it

partially interested in meeting others but equally anxious about social interaction. feel free to contact me though, if you wish

kins

as of writing this, it’s a small amount. I’m still figuring everything out, though this isn’t my first rodeo. I was just wrong about some things in the past and I’m not afraid to admit that, if I’m honest. right now you’re going to see:

FAE - [THE FAIRFOLK] otherkin, no names - tagged #aforestwalk

TOMMY COOLATTA - [HLVRAI] fictotype - tagged #yelloweyes

RYTHIAN ENDERBORN - [BLACKROCK] fictotype - tagged #tiredmage

dni

if you are any of the following, do NOT interact w/me. I will block your ass.

anti-kin

terf/swerf

map/any variation of it/pedophile/condoning pedophilia

ableist

any kind of queerphobic (homo/trans/ace/aro/etc-phobic)

antisemitic/nazi/alt-right/right-wing/white supremacist/etc

racist

exclusionist

etc of varieties of the same nature.