Innocently Macabre @innocentlymacabre - Tumblr Blog

EVERY STORY EVER TOLD REALLY HAPPENED.

Stories are where memories go when they’re forgotten.

If you've got eyes and ears in the right places, you're likely to come across rumours of a man who will find these memories. He’ll go off a-hunting, foraging for the stories you’ve forgotten.

I bring them home and show the world, distilling them into pretty little glass vials for you to peruse the wonders of the cosmos.

Take a look. Have your pick. Peruse the collection.

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death of the author but I'm the author and I have to accept everyone else's reading of my stories because they're just as valid too

#writeblr #death of the author

mumblingsage

Tip for authors with a novel to submit to publishers:

Pay attention to what's on the first page of their website.

Are you immediately welcomed as a writer?

That's not always a good sign.

It might be that the press is new and still building its list of authors, so it has more to say about submissions than about the books it's published. That's not awful, but not awesome either (you may prefer to wait and let them make their beginner's mistakes on someone else's book. If the publisher finds its footing, you can always submit to them in a year or two!). Or maybe they just recently opened a new call to submissions and have that prominently announced. That's fine, but also look at when and where they post about new book releases.

A publisher should have a website that appeals to readers - with descriptions of the kinds of books they do or will publish, and ways for readers to connect like a newsletter signup option and social media links. If they have already published books: how easily can readers buy them? What do the covers look like? Do the book descriptions have any obvious typos? Do multiple books or pages on the website have errors?

No matter how proud a publisher is of how they serve authors, the main job of a publisher is to get books into reader's hands. That shouldn't be an afterthought on the website. If it takes you a few clicks to find submission guidelines, that may be a good sign. If, along the way, you spot several books to add to your to-read list, that's a great sign.

If the website seems to be downright screaming "Please let us publish you!" watch out for a catch. They might not be a vanity press, but they could be. Search "[Publisher name] scam" or "[Publisher name] legitimate" or "[Publisher name] vanity" and see what comes up. Or the business might be completely legit, just with a poorly organized website. Suggesting they're not great at selling books. Still not a good sign.

Always check the Amazon listing (and other listings) of the books from a publisher you're considering. What do the reviews say? What are the sales ranks like? What formats are the books offered in, and at what price point? Do you like the covers? Do you like how the sample is formatted, and can you spot any errors in the editing or formatting?

It's better to be unpublished than badly published. Don't get your rights tied up in a contract with a shady or ineffective publisher.

quaggly

every shitty book now is called something like a court of shit and fuck or something equally stupid. books used to be called frindle and we liked it. we liked it

seolihexagon

I'VE BEEN SAYING THISS THANK YOU

now there are 2 templates: 1) [noun] of [noun] and [noun]. 2) [adjective] and [adjective] [noun]

examples:

a strange and stubborn endurance

a dark and hollow star

a dark and starless forest

a taste of gold and iron

a court of thorns and roses

queen of air and darkness

daughter of smoke and bone

children of blood and bone

house of salt and sorrows

girls of paper and fire

the ballad of songbirds and snakes

bonus points if it includes a word like dark, bone, smoke, shadow or some equally abstract shit

i'm not saying any of those books are bad. i'm just saying if i see a book with a title like this i immediately skip over it like it's not there. it's the opposite of attention grabbing like they're begging for the book to be as unnoticeable as possible.

maybe in the beginning it was intriguing but now every other book is called some shit like this. they all sound the same and they're forgettable. i really hope authors leave this trend behind.

i actually have a list of book titles that caught my eye and made me want to know more about the book. now these might not be everyone's cup of tea but anyway here are some examples:

paul takes the form of a mortal girl

is it hot in here? or am i just suffering for all eternity for the sins i committed on earth?

everyone in this room will someday be dead

symptoms of being human

the 7½ deaths of evelyn hardcastle

the five stages of andrew brawley

the absolutely true diary of a part-time indian

the restaurant at the end of the universe

the princess and the grilled cheese sandwich

insignificant events in the life of a cactus

words on bathroom walls

girls just wanna have funds

a trans man walks into a gay bar

you have the right to remain fat

i tried to find the common denominator as to why these titles intrigued me and i found several factors:

smushing together completely unrelated concepts that make the reader think of how these concepts could possibly be related in the story. examples: the princess and the grilled cheese sandwich, paul takes the form of a mortal girl, the restaurant at the end of the universe.

having something straight up weird in the title that makes the reader go ??? examples: paul takes the form of a mortal girl (is paul an alien? is paul a man? is paul not mortal? is paul an immortal alien man?), the 7½ deaths of evelyn hardcastle (why is she dying 7 times? AND A HALF? how do you half die?), the absolutely true diary of a part-time indian (how is the character only part-time indian?), insignificant events in the life of a cactus (what events could a cactus possibly have in its life?).

play on familiar expressions. examples: girls just wanna have funds (girls just wanna have fun), a trans man walks into a gay bar (x walks into a bar joke), you have the right to remain fat (you have the right to remain silent).

thank you for coming to my ted talk. can you tell i've thought extensively about this

also if you have titles you like please share them with me i would like to grow my list of good titles