Ilya is so lucky that Shane proposed. Ilya would have been a nervous fucking wreck for the entire day beforehand. Wake up in the morning. Look in the mirror. Today's the day. Sob. Breathe. Okay I'm good! Turn around and Shane's hair is all in his face, still asleep on Ilya's pillow. I am NOT good. Cold shower. Breakfast that Ilya does not eat. Morning jog wherein Ilya runs like someone is chasing him. Lunch that Ilya does not eat. Drive out to the cottage. Make Shane pull over because Ilya needs to dry heave on the side of the road. "Baby we don't have to drive out today if you're not feeling well." "NO WE HAVE TO." Get to the cottage. Immediately send Shane on some kind of extended fool's errand. Shane wants to stay because Ilya is SHAKING and he is so worried. "No my love I'm fine it's just the breeze off the lake haha." It's thirty fuckig degrees Celsius. Shane finally gtfo's. Yuna, David, Rose FUCKING Landry all descend to help Ilya set up. Well. Ilya is supposed to be helping but he is standing on the deck fully dissociating. Yuna brings him tea. "Are you going to throw up the tea?" "Yes probably." Yuna takes away the tea. 800 electronic tea lights on the deck. In a parallel Ilya has no way of understanding, he both puts on and takes off a suit. Yuna fixes his curls into the hockey boy quasi-mullet that magnetizes Shane's fingers to Ilya's hair and says, "Oh, you're so handsome!" Ilya cries big fat tears. David tells a story about how his proposal to Yuna almost didn't happen because David went to the hospital for heart palpitations that morning. Thank You David That Does Not Help Even Remotely. Ilya slav squats on the lawn for twenty minutes. Shane's car pulls up in the driveway and everyone hides while Ilya vibrates in the entryway. Shane has no less than thirty grocery bags hanging from his arms, still complaining about why the grocery service cancelled their delivery last minute. Ilya leads Shane and all thirty of his grocery bags onto the deck. Shane is doing his favorite thing (bitching) and his second favorite thing (Follow Ilya) so he doesn't notice his own mother tiptoing behind him collecting the grocery bags he drops like breadcrumbs. There is an Oscar-winning actress hiding under his sofa and Shane does not notice because Ilya takes him on the deck and drops to his knees and Shane is like, "Haha, right now?" and then he sees that Ilya has a look on his face like he's just been told the sun is never coming up again and he has his hands on Shane's knees and he is saying, "Shane. Please?" and Shane puts his hands on his head and says "Oh my God baby what's happening to you" as Ilya melts and melts and then from the depths of the cottage someone who sounds a lot like Shane's very own father is whispering "The ring the ring" and when he looks back down Ilya is fumbling a ring box out of his pocket. The first picture of their proposal is Shane glaring into the middle distance with a hand cradling Ilya's curls like a baby while Ilya ugly sobs into his knee.
Shane accidentally breaks Ilya’s chain. The two are roughhousing at Shane’s place when Shane reaches up to grab the back of Ilya’s neck. His hand slips, his fingers get caught in the chain and it breaks. The necklace falls onto Shane’s chest and the room falls silent.
“Shit! Rozanov, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-.”
“I know.” Ilya quickly scoops his mother’s necklace and examines it. He sees that the clasp is broken. He looks up to tell Shane about the clasp that’s when he notices Shane’s heavy breathing. Shane’s hands are trembling and there are tears in his eyes. “Hollander, it is okay.”
Shane shakes his head. “No, I’ve ruined it.”
“Hey, it is fine, is just clasp. I broke it before. It is easy fix.” That’s a lie. Ilya has never broken his mother’s chain but Shane is on the verge of a panic attack and he needs to calm him down.
“Really?” Shane questions and Ilya nods. “Let me up.” Ilya moves off of Shane and watches as he goes over to his dresser. He looks through a box before going over to Ilya.
“I got this from a brand deal but I don’t really wear jewelry. You can use this until the chain gets fixed.” Shane offers Ilya the box. He opens it to find a thin gold chain staring back at him. Ilya carefully takes the cross off the broken chain and threads it onto the one Shane gave him. He asks Shane to put it on him and Shane happily obliges.
If Shane notices that Ilya is still wearing the chain he gifted the next time they hook up, he doesn’t mention it.
Thinking about the fact that Ilya and Shane probably kissed SO much that first day at the cottage like Shane’s jaw was achy and their mouths were puffy and swollen and deep pink at the end of the day
Like they definitely fucked like three times by like early afternoon, and Shane’s a bit achy, they’d been eager and rough with each other, mainly in their desperation for each other. It had been months for both of them, waiting for each other- and it’s the first time they have ever had time on their hands, time and no fucking interruptions, just endless soft surfaces and hard surfaces to press each other into, soft close clothing and no prying eyes.
But they also kinda can’t stop kissing. Shane almost feels overwhelmed by it, it’s like theirs magnets on their tongues, drawn to each other like gravity. After lunch they end up making out at the sink for an unknown stretch of time, at least till the water in the sink that the dishes had been soaking in, cooled. But it was soft pecks too, hot firey kisses when Ilya would interrupt him by grabbing his face and pulling him in, licking into his mouth. So not only does Shane’s ass and hips ache a bit, but so does his mouth.
It’s the evening, the sun dipping down past the line of the lake and Shane is sprawled on his back on the soft rug of the living room. Ilya is a shirtless warm wide weight over him, just in a pair of Shane’s sweatpants (yours are better Hollander I want these) between Shane’s legs, pressing into and over him. He smells like Shane’s body wash, and sun, tastes like sour patch kids (Shane had bought them just for Ilya, when he’d done his grocery shop for the summer. It was just a few things, inconspicuous packets- but ones that usually had no place in Shane Hollanders pantry).
Shane’s in his metros crew neck and a pair of soft shorts, socks on.
Ilya has an elbow on either side of Shane’s head, one hand fisted in the top of Shane’s hair, fingers scratching gentle circular motions against his scalp in a dizzying way that had goose bumps shivering up and down the back of his neck. His other hand cheeks drifting to Shane’s chin and cheek, the back of his knuckles rubbing, fingers grabbing.
They’re kissing, again, slow hot drags of their mouths that are making Shane’s stomach flip and squeeze in a low needy flutter. His legs are spread to either side, knees to Ilya’s hips. One calf is pressed to Ilya’s thigh, the other out further, his toes rubbing their happy rhythm against Ilya’s calf. A small fidget he did when he was content, to comfort, usually as he drifted to sleep- but apparently when Ilya Rozanov kissed him incoherent too.
Shanes hands have been roaming, from holding Ilya’s face between his palms, to through his curls, over the back of his neck. His nails gentle up and down the bare skin of Ilya’s back, occasionally finding stray droplet left over from the shower. His body is holding the heat from it, so fucking warm and solid between Shane’s legs. Shane can’t stop thinking about the fact Ilya’s going to sleep in bed with him tonight. They have all night.
The thought makes Shane shiver and Ilya presses down into Shane in response, hand slides from his hair and down, arm slides between Shane and the floor, hand clasped to Shane’s hip, strong forearm spanning his back and he pulls Shane up into him. Shane tightens his leg around Ilya’s body, hands rub over Ilya’s broad shoulders in a silent reply. Ilya pulls back for a breath, nuzzles his mouth against Shane’s skin as he knocks their noses together.
“Okie?” He asks in a soft low cadence, and his arms squeezes around Shane, hand wiggling to the under the fabric of his sweatshirt, against skin.
Shane nods and with a small motion of his head ilya is connecting their lips again, a tiny almost sweet peck before he’s licking into Shane’s mouth in a way that makes the back of his neck heat. Ilya sinks into him and kisses him like he’s starving, like this itself is sex, like he’s inside Shane. It feels like it, Shane can feel the ghost of that connection with how they are pressed tight, close.
Their sound of their lips is slick and loud, and Shane can hear the rush of his own heartbeat in his ears, the rustle of their clothes together. He’s not grinning on Ilya, and Ilya is pushing down into him, but there are these tiny presses of their hips, half hard- but not seeking anything further, not chasing, just content in the connection of their bodies in every place they can manage.
Ilya’s tongue draws back and Shane catches Ilya’s top lip with teeth and tongue, Ilya’s mouth tastes like his, their shared spit. Shane’s fingers find the shape of Ilya’s earlobe, thumb starts to rub over it softly, and it makes Ilya whine, like Shane knows it does, because he knows, knows very well how Ilya Rozanov kisses, how he likes to be kissed back. Ilya’s hand squeezes Shane’s hip, pulls him in tighter, drags his tongue over Shane’s, licks up over the roof of his mouth and Shane shivers. His jaw aches with the stretch of the kiss as Ilya licks into his mouth hungry.
Then the oven beeps, loud and jarring and Shane’s first thought is what the fuck? But then- oh- dinner. They had put the potatoes and vegetables to roast in the oven an hour ago and chicken legs half an hour ago. Shane had been going to find deck of cards he knew was in the living room because he had told Ilya he would to teach him how to play Cribbage. Ilya had already asked if they could play strip cribbage. Shane didn’t think it would be possible but he was sure Ilya would find a way.
He’d been leant over the coffee table, digging in a draw for the cards when Ilya had found him, a slap to his bent over ass, before his hands pulled Shane back into him. Shane had told him to fuck off and Ilya had said no and then Shane had jabbed at his side, Ilya had flicked Shane’s ear and then they were on the carpet slapping hands away. Then, as with the pace of the day it seemed, they were kissing again.
Shane pulls back with a gasp from the kiss. “Dinner. Ilya- we need to” Ilya’s mouth was already back on his own. Shane’s hands slid to Ilya hair, pulled, turned his head away from Ilya’s mouth. The alarm was still going off.
“It’ll burn” Shane sighs, shivers when Ilya’s mouth finds his jaw, kisses and licks at the warm skin.
“In a minute” Ilya rumbles back and drags his teeth over the light already fading hickey he left there this morning.
Shane sighs, heat rushes at the feeling and he swallows, wriggles under Ilya’s frame.
“You’ll be so” Shane’s voice is breathy and he clears his throat. “So annoying if I don’t feed you” and then Shane feels Ilya laugh against his throat.
“You have fed me plenty” Ilya grumbles back, hand sliding down to take a handful of Shane’s ass, voice heavy with innuendo.
“Shut up” Shane bitches and pinches Ilya’s side in the way he doesn’t like, and says “dinner Ilya dinner” and Ilya whines and pulls back. Shane bits back a whine at the loss of Ilya’s warmth, despite knowing Ilya getting up is how they will achieve making sure dinner isn’t burnt.
Shane’s hands, now with no Ilya to hold, lay by his sides and he looks up at Ilya up on his knees between Shane’s legs, looking down at him. His necklace swings and the light catches the glint of gold. He’s all tanned skin, corded muscle and moles in the low light. There’s a bruise from Shane’s mouth in his ribs. Shane licks his lips and he wants Ilya to fuck him again. The oven alarm beeps ever strong in the distance. Shane lets out a short breath through his nose.
“Come on then, up, mr dinner Ilya dinner, I thought this was urgent and you are just laying on floor” Ilya teases and Shane kicks his heel into Ilya’s ass.
“I will help with my big muscles don’t worry” Ilya smirks and then he’s pulling Shane up with the arm under his back, till Shane is sat over Ilya’s hips in his kneeling position.
Suddenly they are close again, breath mingling between the mouths. Ilya’s mouth is bitten dark, his thicker upper lip swollen. His mouth shines in the low light of the cottage with his and Shane’s spit. It makes Shane’s cock pulse. Something swells in his chest. Shane squirms in Ilya’s lap and Ilya’s arm tightens around him, a firm grip that anchors him closer. Shane’s eyes dart up Ilya’s and he can see Ilya’s eyes staring at his mouth, dark and lidded. Ilya’s hand is on his face then and his thumb is making circles over Shane’s mouth. It feels like an old bruise, a muscle that aches after training. His lips throb.
“Mm” Ilya’s hum is low and maybe involuntary and Shane feels it vibrate through his own, and oh- when did they get that close again.
Then Ilya is kissing him again, soft pecks all over Shane’s mouth, closed mouth kisses that make Shane’s toes start working their wriggle again.
Ilya’s licking into his mouth and Shane’s hands are catching Ilyas face, and he’s been kissing Ilya for a decade, but it’s that same stupid heavy rush it had been when he was a teenager and all he could think was oh, that’s what kissing is because any kiss before it had seemed like it must be something else entirely, it didn’t even live in the same universe.
Shane made a soft sound, head heavy with the thought of their first kiss, the thought of Ilya knowing how to kiss him so well, of knowing just what Shane likes, being just what Shane likes. The taste of Ilya’s mouth being a comfort, a home. Shane pushes his hips down, pulls at the back of Ilya’s neck, sucks Ilya’s tongue into his mouth and- and then Ilya is pulling his mouth away with a slick sound and Shane whimpers, frowns.
“Dinner Shane, dinner” Ilya whispers and Shane puts his have over Ilya’s face, before he clambers up.
Ilya’s footsteps are quick behind him.
The get the food out the oven, it goes half cold, Shane’s ass pressed against the oven, Ilya pressing into him, hands cupping his jaw open.
shane getting cuteness aggression for ilya and ilyas all like No Hollander ….I am hot. Alpha Male. secretly elated while shane is squishing his cheeks between his hands
i REFUSE to believe that during the secret relationship era shane and ilya didn’t take photos together…digital cameras exist and they are millionaires!!!! and i knowwww ilya loves a dirty polaroid…i just know!!
No I agreeeeeeee I think the only way Shane would have been okay with it is if they were Polaroids that he could look away safely, know where they are and keep them safe under lock and key. They each have their own fancy lock boxes that Shane bought them, keys safely stored away. They have a handful of Polaroid that are just for them. It is a bit over the top- Shane knows but this is the most precious thing to him he can’t risk it.
The photos include:
Shane on his knees, face planted into Ilya’s crotch, Ilya’s hand cradling the back of his head
Shane laid on the bed, eyes closed, face blissed out with his face covered in Ilya’s cum, Ilya’s thumb playing with his lips
Shane on his knees, Ilya’s hand gripping his waist
Ilya naked and flexing with a big stupid grin
Ilya between Shane’s legs, Shane’s thighs over his shoulders, only his curls visible
Shanes ass, Ilya’s big hand gripping one cheek, able to see a hint of his hole, dripping out cum and puffy
Ilyas chest, covered in cum
Shane’s chest, covered in cum
Blurry photo of Shane sat across Ilya’s lap, mid riding him, cock hard and dripping against his tummy
I love the idea of Shane’s chirps just being observations.
It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.
This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?
“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”
And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.
So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.
Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)
And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.
So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.
Idk I just needed Shane Chirping but in a very Shane way. Like he really just wants to play hockey but chirping is part of hockey so he studies chirping but doesn’t want to do any of the “classic” chirps (your mom! Your wife! Your girlfriend! You’re gay! Type of stuff) so he invents his own chirps out of his amazing mind
Ilya is chronically online so of course he saw this trend on tiktok and it's ridiculous and a bit cheesy but despite himself he has to snort in amusement whenever he sees another video of it. he knows the exasperated look Shane will give him and that alone is reason enough to try it out.
it's too easy really, the next time they go shopping (yes, occasionally these divas go shopping especially since Shane found comfort in a better style), Shane instinctively grabs one bag after the other form the cashiers. they walk through the streets vaguely back to their car but Ilya really is in a splurging mood and gets more and more bags with toys for Anya, a new watch he will never wear, a hair care gift set for Sveta, you name it. each bag he presses into Shane's already full hands and dashes off to find another thing to buy and hand over to his dutiful husband.
as usual when they are out in the city, Shane doesn't say much. he doesn't complain about the 15th bag to hold, he just takes it with a stern face and an increasing eagerness to get back to the car.
Ilya falls a few steps behind, stealthily starts recording a video of Shane marching infront of him, packed like a mule. Ilya manages to sound relatively miserable when he finally asks: "Solnyshko, why are you not holding my hand right now?"
Shane immediately stops in his tracks to turn around, Ilya is so ready to get laserbeamed with the hollander glare of annoyance and a devastating quip, but... but instead a frowning Shane looks genuinely alarmed, as if he would have forgotten something important. "Oh, right", he mutters and immediately pushes the bags over his forearm to reach our for Ilya with his left hand. fuck. after all Shane is just too good for this world. Ilya is too stunned to speak for a moment and glad to take his husband's hand and let himself be guided through the streets.
of course Ilya needs to try again. his husband is a total bitch and ilya just loves it so much when he gets Shane to show it. why must shane ruin a funny video by being so sweet and caring and genuine and just so shane?
A few weeks latery, the Cens are due for a roadtrip and Shane and Ilya arrive at the training center for the bus that will shuttle them to their plane. Shane unloads their suitcases, as he always does, and is suprised to see as Ilya begins to grab a few bags from the backseats. PlayStation for team bonding, new skates he might wanna try, extra bathrobes, and some things more, Ilya casually explains. Shane just hums and grabs their two suitcases. Ilya shoves another bunch of full bags towards Shane, which he wordlessly accepts and stacks on the suitcases. They make their way over the parking lot, and Ilya, basically baggage free, sneakily angels his phone to start recording another video. "I can't believe your not holding my hand right now", he sighs dramatically. That surely must get a rise out of Shane. He can almost see these useless bags flying in his face. He should have known better. Shane immediately shifts the suitcases so he grabs both handles with one hand, and offers his free hand to Ilya with a little smile. "Sorry."
Fucking hell. He even said sorry. Goddam polite canadian husband. Ruining Ilya's evil plans and his sanity at once. When Shane's fingers wrap around Ilya's, Ilya is actually grateful to have something to hold on to.
For his next attempt, Ilya tries to be more sneaky. If he wants to rile Shane up, he has to take the game to the only place where Shane won't let him get away with any nonsense. And he needs backup.
Ilya chooses the next training and Luca Haas as his secret camera man, who is the only one gullible enough to obey his captain's ridiculous demands without asking any questions. Ilya makes it clear that he doesn't care how Luca sneaks the phone inside the rink just that he has to be ready and discreet ones Ilya gives the sign. And sure as hell he is.
Shane just sets up to fire some warm up shots at Wyatt from the blue line when Ilya smoothly skates next to him and lightly swings his stick around.
"Don't you like holding my hand?", he asks woefully and in great expectation of Shane hissing at him, telling him to stop distracting him at work.
Shane turns towards him slowly and cocks his head. "Why would you say that?"
"We are not holding hands right now", Ilya pouts.
"Oh." Shane nods and looks down at his gloved hands at his stick. "Yeah that is a problem."
And before Ilya can grasp it, Shane drops the glove of his left hand and lays it on top of Ilya's right.
Ilya's brain is melting into a puddle of goo and he is so annoyed by it. And by Shane. But mostly there is just warm fuzzy goo.
He swears he can hear Luca say "aww" which pretty much sums it up.
Shane's eyes catches Ilyas gaze again and smiles so softly and Ilya wants to sink into these deep pools of brown- when Shane's smile turns a bit lopsided, an eyebrow arches up.
He barely breaks eye contact when he quickly adjust his stand, swinging his stick with his right hand and slapping the puck right between Wyatts skates into the goal.
"Fuck", Ilya whispers, suprised and more than half horny in under a second. "Did you just-"
He looks at where Shane's left hand still rests on his.
"Score a goal, one handed? Sure I did", Shane grins smugly but lya can feel Shane squeezing his own gloved hand.
"Holy shit, Hollzy", Wyatt hollers, "Thats cheating, by the way. Can't shoot while being all cutesie with your husband."
"That's so cool!", Luca skates closer and waves his phone in Ilya's face. "I got it all on video!"
Shane's gives Ilya a puzzled look and Ilya knows he has a lot of explaining and probably even more apologising to do. After that he will give Shane a mind-blowing blowjob the very moment they are alone. Probably two. Shane definitely earned it.
Later he cuts all three videos of him asking Shane to hold his hand into one edit and uploads it with the caption "If he wanted to, he would 😌💅"
(Harris gets inspired by the video and convinces Wiebe to let Shane and Ilya do one training session where they hold hands the entire time. Noone is suprised they still manage to score more goals than anyone else. Harris is delighted to have some excellent footage for the Cens Instagram channel and captions it with "Why aren't you holding your teammates hand right now?")
Sometimes, when they are out with the team and Shane is in the right mood, he will sip on Ilya's vodka and chase it with his ginger ale. He won't directly ask for his own drink, but Ilya is happy to share, especially when it leads to what Ilya affectionately calls 'brutally honest Shane', who will chirp their friends and call bullshit on anything they say that he disagrees with.
Some of Ilya's favorite appearances of 'brutally honest Shane' are at the Kingfisher with their team, as well as the Admirals.
---
Hunter and Vaughn both rolled their eyes at yet another classic Rozanov chirp. Shane hadn't been listening to that side of the table, as he was enjoying his conversation with Kip about the latest paintings he acquired for a gallery.
"God, Roz, you are a real piece of work. I bet you even chirp the kids at your camps," Carter said, a little too plainly to be a joke. Shane did not like that one bit.
"What? Ilya would never. He is a sweetheart with the kids," Shane countered, turning his attention and leaning into Ilya's side.
Scott huffed a laugh and nodded. "Well, that may be true, but on the ice, he’s a menace. Even you can admit that, Rook."
"Of course he is; it’s a strategy. That is the role he plays. He’s nothing like that off the ice. That's how most of us are, you know that," Shane replied firmly. He knew Ilya enjoyed the chirping when it was fair, but Shane did not like the implication of his husband being bad with children or just genuinely being a 'bad' person.
"You are the same on and off, Hollz," Carter said.
Ilya stopped himself from laughing, but Shane couldn't. He chuckled a bit and then paused before responding. "Oh, wait, you’re serious?"
The entire table went quiet, listening in on the conversation now. Scott was the one to reply. "Uh, yeah, Shane. You are the nicest guy in the league."
"I am definitely not," Shane said, not able to hide his surprise. Ilya had to tuck his face into Shane's shoulder to keep his smile at bay.
"What are you talking about? You are always composed on the ice. You are a good leader, especially for the rookies. All the stripes love you. You don't fight. I mean, you started a whole damn charity. They called you Canada's Golden Boy for a reason, Rook."
Shane rolled his eyes. He appreciated all of Scott's kind words, but sometimes he hated that his reputation always boiled down to that, especially given the pressure of maintaining it.
"I guess that is true. Thank you, but like I said before, that is on the ice. I'm not saying I'm a bad person or anything, but I can be a real bitch. I know that."
Multiple voices called out around the table in contention, shocked by what he just said.
Shane's eyes grew wide, seeing them all react as if this were new information. He thought it was a bit obvious. "What? It’s true!"
Scott set his beer down with a loud clatter on the table. "You aren’t a bitch, Shane. What the hell are you talking about?"
Shane shrugged as he took another bolstering sip of Ilya's vodka, not even bothering to chase this one. "Not all the time, no, but I’m way meaner than Ilya. I just don't chirp you guys to your faces."
Ilya finally joined the conversation with a nod before adding, "Is true. He is like that meme. Looks like cinnamon roll but could kill you. I have been saying Shane Hollander is an asshole for many years, and no one would listen."
Everyone around the table laughed, some sporting expressions of recognition at Ilya's meme comparison. That was until Troy leaned in from his spot across the table.
"Hang on, Hollzy. What do you mean you don't chirp us to our faces?"
Shane leveled Troy with that unimpressed look some of the Centaurs have received after making subpar passing choices or shot attempts at practice.
"Barrett, you really think Ilya comes up with chirps about stats on his own? Or the ones in French? I thought you were smarter than that."
The entire table burst with laughter again, at Troy's expense this time. Kip looked especially pleased with this revelation as he said, "Oh my God, Shane, you really are a bitch. I love this for you."
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