Irn Bru, beverage of the true

Just a guy from Scotland looking for something to suck up my spare time like a desperate hoover.

[shortvideosandstuff]

[carnahan]

And yet there are those who doubt him and question how he gets around the entire world in one night…

[airred]

santa’s creed

[theslickest-deactivated20240718]

this has been on queue since january 2nd and it was worth every minute

[lacunadaisies]

I’m queuing this on December 26th I’m ready for this

[clarisimart]

You better watch out

[ajistorpid]

You better watch out

[thequestionablyhuman-deactivate]

You better watch out

[wlwadora-ble]

You better watch out

[headcanontheshitoutofsoulsborne]

Dark Souls Chain 5 (Dusk Chain)

As I got pretty burnt out from the whole thing, I am thanking @irnbruforthetrue for having organized this chain. The prompt was the following: Second, I had the idea that you could choose an area at two points within the timeline of the game and write about a character going through them where the time passing serves as some kind of recontextualisation. And here are the entries:

@redsixwing

A girl of seven, Dusk played alongside her family in the Royal Wood. She had a pretty pavilion amongst the trees, and her attendants and family were always nearby, in the towers and stately buildings that dotted the edges of the cliffs. Birds sang in tall, elegant trees, and in their seasons, fruit flourished on many boughs. 

She knew the whisper of the wind, the voices of the gardeners, even the sounds of the hunting dogs, let out to wrestle and sniff amongst the underbrush. It was a sweet time, a good time - until the foliage began to change, until the eternal stone itself began to melt away. 

-

A princess of twenty years and a few, Dusk stood in the same place, but her pavilion was long since fallen. The gardeners’ voices had gone silent and the dogs had been excluded. Still, the wind whispered through the trees, but the rustle of the leaves sounded like resentful muttering voices, and the ground was damp underfoot. 

Those patches of dampness were a plague. They spread without warning, discoloring the plants that grew in them; as if stricken with fungus, the leaves would gain dark blotches and drip, dying by liquefaction. The ground would grow wetter and softer, and eventually fall in, like rotten fruit crumbling at a touch. It was terrifying to think that it would happen here, even in her favorite spot - but then, Oolacile Township had grown as strange as everything else. Always her people had built on the very faces of the cliffs, using them as shelter and host. If they’d known then what everyone knew now…

Dusk shuddered. The founders may have still built there. The sorcerers claimed this creeping, slumping death was part of a natural cycle, something not to be feared, but yielded to. The sorcerers said many things; Dusk worried that their acceptance of that cycle would be the end of them, township and all. 

She, princess of Oolacile, light-sorcerer in her own right, would do what she could to make it right. Dusk reached her arms out, summoning light to drive back the gloom. It would not stop the subsidence of the land, but it would at least nourish the plants a little longer, and keep her favorite place green.

She had so many memories of the Wood in its beauty. Here upon this spot, she had met Artorias, hero from Anor Londo. Here upon this place, her parents had accepted his service. 

It had been the last time she’d seen him, as he descended soon after into the chasm, not to return. Now the landscape itself seemed unlikely to outlast the memory of its beauty.

-

Dusk walked in spirit along the edge of a new lake. When she’d lived in a living land, there had been no lake, only a river whose sweet waters sustained the township, racing cold at the bottom of the gorge. Now the hills had slumped down and choked it, and the water lay deep.

She wondered if Oolacile still lay in its murky depths. Whatever had happened to her home? Try as she may, she couldn’t remember. Was she only a fraction of herself, thinking it was the whole? Was some part of her laid to rest in the deep green water, too?

The new trees grew lower than the old ones, twisted and stunted, uncared-for. The bushes twitched and rustled in restless, patternless movement. Great masses of crystal, animated by sorcery, wandered the shoreline. She’d been captive, taken from- 

She could not remember. 

 It had brought her here, and been slain by someone she did not know, but who bore a passing resemblance to a hero she’d seen in her youth.

Footsteps approached even now, and she manifested herself upon the shore in response. Dusk, phantasm, sorceress and princess, curtsied before her rescuer. 

The sorcery, at least, would last past Oolacile.

@aliennotperson

@dbzespio

The forest was her home. She had grown up here, discovered her magical abilities through its observation and mimicry... the sparkling of the lake under the sun, the filtering of light through the trees... a far cry from the dusty tomes and libraries from which other, more traditional mages had learned and studied. For the magic of Oolacile was said to be a gentle magic, one that manipulated, rather than created. She felt she knew not what that meant entirely, for she had never any need to practice such arts as combat, for the lands she lived within were welcoming and peaceful.

The creatures of the forest, and the people of the township... What was strife and conflict in their eyes, when all they know is harmony? A calm co-existence among neighbors?

Indeed it was this nostalgia, this yearning for what was (since things had recently changed – though she still could not quite pinpoint how), which drove her, day after day, into the forest, searching for yet more answers. Answers to questions she didn’t quite know or even understand… such that she couldn’t even fathom what at all she was actually asking herself in the first place. 

And when that happened... she felt… incredibly peculiar.

“Princess Dusk!”

The great mushroom Elizabeth called out to her often, her usually comforting voice noticeably marked by yet greater shades of worry with each passing day. And this time, like always, her voice swiftly broke the princess’s swirling train of thoughts.

Dusk patiently folded her hands, bowing respectably in silent greeting to the creature she had long regarded as a matriarch of sorts. “Elizabeth. It’s good to see you.”

“Yes, yes; that’s all well and good! However…!”

Despite her lack of arms, the mushroom woman was still rather animated, her face and cap practically vibrating with energy. “Why are you here again? Haven’t I told you? You need to return home!”

“With all due respect, dear Elizabeth, I am home. This is where I belong. Not an empty palace.”

“Now, now, child, you mustn’t argue!” Elizabeth cried. “There are whispers… ill tidings…! As I’ve told you, countless times now, the forest is not what it once was! You must return to the township... where you are safe. Quickly now!”

“I must agree with you... but only on one point,” Dusk conceded. “The forest is indeed not what it used to be... And for that very reason, that is why I must remain a while longer. I wish to discover the cause behind these ill tidings, for I... have felt them too. And as princess, it is my duty to see this resolved. I will not rest until it is so.”

“Alone?!” If Elizabeth appeared to be almost vibrating before, she sure as hell was now. “Such is madness, dear princess!”

“As I have said, I will not risk harm to another,” Dusk told her, still patient, her face composed in calm. “I have worked long and hard to master our magic, and for that, I am far from helpless. I will see these whispers of unease set to rest, wherever that road might take me. Such is my duty.”

Poor dear Elizabeth released a long, weary sigh. “And you shan’t be persuaded otherwise?”

The princess confirmed with another polite bow, indicating farewell before departing.

As she left, Dusk could hear Elizabeth gossip with the other mushrooms, though she couldn’t decipher the entirety of their talk from this distance. Not that it mattered; for all their whispering, they were forever rooted to their places.

Thus they had no answers for her.

*

Throughout her lifetime, the animals of Oolacile were always bustling about, chattering and skittering, all matter of noise, even when she couldn’t see hide nor hair of them.

It was their quiet which unnerved her now. Something was very wrong when the entire forest grew entirely silent.

And now, she was drawn to the quiet, seeking it out, searching for the source of this disturbance.

And when she found it, absolute, sheer silence; she paused, her camouflage rendering her entirely invisible, while she stood still, gazing into the distance. The sun was yet overhead, but somehow it felt colder, darker... as though it were setting or covered by cloud. But it wasn’t. Not yet.

Her breath caught when she heard it, a slight, soft resonance. Far in the distance. 

She began to walk towards it. First, as normal, then, quickening her pace.

The resonance grew louder.

A hum, resounding through the trees... abnormally empty of abundant life.

No wind, no movement. Just an eerie, resounding sound.

She was growing closer… or it was. She couldn’t be certain.  

Princess Dusk looked around, wildly, her camouflage subsequently shifting and scattering, disturbed by her sudden, careless movements.

The shadows felt deeper, longer... Was it truly getting darker? Was the sun still above?

She gasped, stopping short. 

This lake ahead… Was it always here? She did not recognize it.

She glanced about, uncertain. She had lost her bearings...

But it mattered not. Something about this lake...

She found herself walking toward it, purposeful, steady strides, when she felt nothing but. She could see the moon shimmering within the lake… So it was night time, was it?

The resonant hum droning loud within her ears, she lowered herself to her knees by the water’s edge, peering into the dark, murky waters below. She reached out to it, curious.

“I have never seen the lake at night before…” she mused, her camouflage falling away when she touched the water, scooping it up into her hand before allowing it to fall again between her fingers.

Clouds lived within this water, so different from the sparkles of the river in the sun…

She gazed into the clouds… lost within the dark depths.

How deep might this lake go? Where was the bottom?

She reached down again… her hand freezing abruptly before she could touch it.

Piercing red light… Sinister and unyielding... chilling her straight down to the bone.

And that’s when she knew.

She would never satisfy her yearning. For the past would never return to her again.

@majorasmax14

@fateoftheundead

There's a lake I know where time reverses flow

Where an Undead might be grabbed by a giant hand

There's a hydra in a basin down by Darkroot Grove

Down from the Great Hollow, where the mushrooms grow

You can hear the summons, you can hear the bell

From Old Anor Londo to the gates of hell

And he was easily forgotten, but dragged you through time

You were indicted for your sins and all of your crimes

If you're down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there where time goes slow

There's a golden golem that shines up through the mist

And I know that your name’s on a Darkmoon list

There's no eye for an eye, there's no arrows from on the roof

I saw Havel the Rocky, carrying Dragon’s Tooth

He was down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

He was down there where time goes slow

If you've lost all your hope, leveled Dex and dipped in Faith

I know that you’re no casual and I know you can be safe

From all the Black Knights and the dirty ganking whores

And even the Chosen who parried Gwyn the final Lord

Is down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there where time goes slow

Well, I've never asked forgiveness from the hosts that I invade

Always put down a red sign, never truly paid

I’ve seen that ol’ dark Manus, his broken pendant turned out lame

I barely made it through that boss fight and if you've done the same

Meet me down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there by the lake

Down there where time goes slow

[irnbruforthetrue]

proud how this one turned out. Great work team.

[irnbruforthetrue]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/45624955/chapters/171696268

So I'm writing a Dark Souls/Elden Ring crossover and I finally actually got around to the two franchises interacting... please read it and enjoy.

Art Credits belong to Nolan Lu, please find attached his ArtStation (it slaps) https://www.artstation.com/nolan192

[flowerbleedme]

Guy who transforms into a swarm of locusts when shaken vigorously: hey can you turn the music down it's resonating kind of hard and shaking the ground and I don't want to endanger anyone

DJ Loudmusic: SORRY I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THESE SICK JAMS! HERE'S MY NEXT SONG, "EPIC JUNGLE BEAT THAT GIVES LOCUSTS THE DESIRE TO KILL HUMAN BEINGS"

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: G ta t a a ct a g: ca t t c t' atg a a ag t g a 't at t ag a c: CA'T A T C A! ' T G, "C G AT TAT G CT T T A G"

Closest match: Coriaria nepalensis isolate Cnep1 chromosome 09 Common name: Masuri Berry

(image source)

[boothyghost]

one that could. shake up a man? a little too much?

[hellsitegenetics]

oh no.

[illusivesoul]

"My Pilgrimage can wait"

[irnbruforthetrue]

absolutely loved playing with that Tali face mod in ME1, 2 is out and I'm waiting for 3 to come before I do my Tali Romance playthrough.

[ayeforscotland]

Normal behaviour.

[irnbruforthetrue]

this reads like one of those joke historical monarchs texting things.

[theweirdwideweb]

[theweirdwideweb]

[darthmelyanna]

I want to be very clear: I did not schedule this to post on Easter weekend.

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

I want to be very clear: I did schedule this to post on Easter weekend

[depsidase]

[anarchistmemedistro]

yes it is

[t0t411y-n0t-hum4n]

yes it is

[river-not-a-stream]

yes it is

[itty-bitty-stalker]

yes it is

[becklaufey]

yes it is

[iodinedeficiency]

yes it is

[freerangecatmilk-blog]

Yes it is

[hildawhite-deactivated20200222]

The Blues Brothers (1980)

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Don’t hit Nazis with your fist

HIT THEM WITH YOUR CAR

[everywitchway-deactivated201905]

Again, just so everyone knows where this blog stands

[hayhaysbigday]

This meme made me think of Percabeth so much. Percy after Annabeth kissed him in BOTL (Battle of the Labyrinth).

[OLD ART: 2023]

[justaz]

Currently loosing my mind thinking about Percy and Annabeth being Perseus and Andromeda reincarnated and them being actual Greek soulmates that find each other in every life, the perfect match……..that’s why Aphrodite was so invested in their love life in particular because Persephone let it slip at a party on Olympus that Perseus and Andromeda went for their third life to reach the Isle of the Blessed and that’s why their lives have been so hard and traumatic in comparison to other demigods’ lives because this is their final trial before eternal paradise

[swallowtail-ageha]

Saw someone try to powerscale the er verse vs the ds verse in a "if they went to war who would win between marika or gwyn's forces" and like one of the replies were "knowing how horny they both were itd end up with gwyn riding marika" and i am like her ass would NOT bottom to gwyn

[irnbruforthetrue]

Oh hey, I'm writing DFB. Don't worry it'll get to the bare knuckle boxing soon enough

[blozs-blog]

[witheringsapphic-deactivated202]

please reblog this until i find my true love. i am so alone

[tables-but-with-a-very-long-name]

Made it poly friendly

[witheringsapphic-deactivated202]

oh hell yeah even better

[courtjester69420]

Made one for aromantic trans people 👍

[parentheses-posts]

This post has 1 set of parentheses.

[shortvideosandstuff]

[carnahan]

And yet there are those who doubt him and question how he gets around the entire world in one night…

[airred]

santa’s creed

[theslickest-deactivated20240718]

this has been on queue since january 2nd and it was worth every minute

[lacunadaisies]

I’m queuing this on December 26th I’m ready for this

[clarisimart]

You better watch out

[ajistorpid]

You better watch out

[thequestionablyhuman-deactivate]

You better watch out

[wlwadora-ble]

You better watch out

[headspace-hotel]

y'all HAVE to watch this...interview??? with the inmates of the prison where luigi mangione is being held.

the reporter is standing outside the prison walls, while the inmates are inside watching newsmax, and collectively screaming out one-word answers to questions loud enough to be heard by the reporter.

I've never seen anything like it

[string-o-lights]

People are talking about how this interview is some of the best journalism they’ve ever seen, and how it’s probably the most humanizing, fair coverage inmates have EVER had. How it’s giving a voice to the voiceless, how it’s going to legit change people’s views towards prison.

And they’re RIGHT

[kink-tomato]

Just want to clarify for anyone who was hesitant like me about the source, this is NOT newsmax, the far right propaganda channel that thinks Fox News is too liberal — it is actually NewsNation, aka WGN, a legitimate news source

[headspace-hotel]

yeah sorry not sure why I wrote that lol, got mixed up

[headspace-hotel]

please reblog this version i can't be seen with an unreliable source

[prokopetz]

I know the Star Wars extended universe treats “spice” like it’s this big scary drug, but I kind of like to imagine that it’s basically just space weed, and the only reason Han got in trouble with the Imperials over Jabba’s cargo is that he was evading import tariffs.

[alexanderrm]

If we’re just looking at mentions in the original trilogy, is there evidence it’s even a drug and not something you put on bland food to make it taste like something? What if Han was just carrying a cargo of like cilantro, mint, etc, none of which grow on Tattooine and are thus highly expensive and heavily taxed commodities?

[prokopetz]

I am fully prepared to believe that the infamous Han Solo ended up in a life-or-death vendetta with the most notorious crime lord in the galaxy because somebody didn’t want to declare taxes on three thousand kilos of cilantro.

[sign-seeker]

Every who pays a certain amount of attention to Star Wars knows this story already, but I was lucky enough to hear it recounted first-hand last year, so I’m gonna give it yet another retelling.

So The Husband and I were at Sci-fi Weekender (a British based annual Sci-fi and Fantasy convention) last year, and one of the guests that year was Kevin J Anderson, one of the very notable Star Wars Expanded Universe writers. During one of the events, a quiet little interview in a cafe on the event site, he fielded a question from an audience member about what it was like to write for a franchise like Star Wars which often had lots of cooks working on one broth, and he had the following to say (wording recounted as best as I can from memory):

“So in one of my stories, Han Solo, he, he travels to this asteroid planet called Kessel, which is where a lot of Spice comes from, these Spice Mines of Kessel, and I got to really describe the effects of this Spice, this terrible drug and the addiction and all this and before publication I get this call, I get this call from the lawyers, and they say “Kevin, you say in this story that Spice is a drug, you can’t say that, you can’t say that Spice is a drug”, and I say “What? What do you mean it’s not a drug, of course it’s a drug”, and they say “Han Solo used to smuggle Spice, and you cannot, let us be clear, you cannot imply that the Hero of Star Wars used to be a drug dealer”. And I just stood there, at a loss for words, and I eventually said “So what is it then?” and they said to me, very sternly, “It’s a food-additive”. Now, now obviously this is ridiculous, and I won’t back down, and they won’t back down, and none of us will back down, and the book is very close to getting pulled, which I don’t want because I worked hard on it and they don’t want because they already paid me the advance, and eventually, with this great air of superiority they say “OK Kevin, we’ll take this to the top. WE’LL TAKE THIS TO GEORGE”. And they go to all this trouble, this was a long while ago when such things were not so easy to arrange, they go to all this trouble to set up a conference call with all of them and me and with George Lucas and they say “George, Kevin is trying to say in his new book that Spice is a drug, it’s a food additive, tell him it’s not a drug, George”. And there’s this long silence on the other end of the line and eventually George says “It is a drug, though. It’s, it’s a drug, it’s a food-additive? What? Of course it a drug, it’s space heroin, what else would it be? What?” And that was then end of that.“

[spidori]

Real piss-on-the-poor moment on the part of the lawyers there

[dragons-locator]

“So in one of my stories, Han Solo, he, he travels to this asteroid planet called Kessel, which is where a lot of Spice comes from, these Spice Mines of Kessel, and I got to really describe the effects of this Spice, this terrible drug and the addiction and all this and before publication I get this call, I get this call from the lawyers, and they say “Kevin, you say in this story that Spice is a drug, you can’t say that, you can’t say that Spice is a drug”,

dragons

DRAGONS LOCATED

[irnbruforthetrue]

i just assume we're meant to read the dragons DRAGONS LOCATED like Crocker in Fairly Oddy Parents

You also can't tell me otherwise

[memewhore]

[ihavenohotcocoa]

babe are you okay you reblogged got that fog in me 11 times

[catgirlanarchist]

wait, i did? i don't remember doing that...

[i-count-words-in-posts]

21