Jordan

Aspiring crazy cat lady

[androidboy]

this is what it’s like trying to piss in peace but u have pets

[fairygoulish]

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved

[jewishpangolin]

[theweirdwideweb]

[freebroccoli]

REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOUR SON HAS DIED FROM TRENCH FOOT LOL HE SERVED WITH COURAGE AND HONOR LOL PLEASE ACCEPT OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES LOL

[kitsnicket]

The biggest “your experiences are not universal” thing I feel is whenever anyone talks about the universality of girls planning their weddings since childhood because. Well. Not me. God bless

[kitsnicket]

“The universal girlhood experience of—“ [LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER]

[rimeheart]

“And spoke like they’d be there” 💀💀💀

[squeakitties]

flingo

[lokaror]

GOUGAR CLAIMS COOL ROCK

[ubersaur]

God forbid women do anything

[justpastsaturn]

She had a good time, too

[thepaisleyelf]

There’s a liquor store near my house that seems to be run exclusively by frat boys. They lovingly curate these bags, which I browsed today while “Oops I Did It Again” played through the store speakers. This is art to me, there is beauty everywhere for those with eyes to see it

[thepaisleyelf]

The update everyone has been waiting for….

[virtualgirladvance]

everytime i see this it makes me want to buy from them exclusively

[hotvampireadjacent]

@pissvortex

[animentality]

[isotridecanol]

[quarter0master]

[burins]

watching my promised afternoon thunderstorm slip from a 90% chance to a 20% chance.... baby come back i can change

[pangur-and-grim]

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

[pangur-and-grim]

[supreme-leader-stoat]

"Give us your government-issued ID to access our app's full features" babydoll you are text messages.

[plotbunnypettingzoo]

[setulose]

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

[setulose]

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

[setulose]

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

[00000000000000000001111-deactiv]

when your boy is reblogging foreskin memes but you know damn well he is a cut crusader and not a hooded hero 

[champagnepuppies]

[bachelorgirl]

Logging onto here is like walking through a bead curtain

[melonwah]