??? It's more likely than you'd think

My type of humor. You get what you get.

[only-tiktoks]

[hamletthedane]

Best part is the background commentary from the other seventh graders:

Student 1: How does he do that???

Student 2, in a bored tone: he’s gay, he can do anything 🙄

[jaskaliina]

man this is so funny

[pitbolshevik]

my favorite piece of disney trivia is that the guy who designed goofy fucking hated him and beat the shit out of him in the parking lot once

[pitbolshevik]

okay in my sleep deprived state i worded this really weirdly so let me just clarify he beat up walt disney. not goofy. goofy remains at large.

[calware]

things that instantly kill the vibe whenever someone just mentions them:

harry potter

nfts

[eyjalinsunshine]

i was so scared to click this, i thought someone had made a harry potter nft

[calware]

[hjartasalt]

Hey do you know alot about internal organs. Cause if so then i have a pretty specific question.

Are... are your organs covered in blood??? Since blood tends to flow thru the blood vessels, and if your body is healthy and all your blood vessels are imtact then your organs shouldn't be covered in blood, right? But just saying that feels wrong.

No, unless you are actively experiencing internal bleeding then your organs are not covered in blood. They are however wet, but it's cerebrospinal fluid and mucus that keeps them that way.

[hjartasalt]

Trust me you do not want them to be in any other condition. If they were covered in blood then there would be no way for your body to effectively circulate that blood, leading you to bleed out. As for them being wet, I personally would not want to experience dry friction on my organs so I am more than okay with that

[hjartasalt]

Also just to clear up any further confusion, cerebrospinal fluid (as the name implies) is contained to just your brain and spinal cord. The rest are protected by mucous

[hjartasalt]

Small correction to my original answer: your organs are not covered in blood unless you are bleeding internally or happen to be a bug

[genderqueerdykes]

yesterday when working with my case manager, she went through a long checklist of my comprehensive needs to refresh our treatment plan. as a part of the questions she was asking me, she asked for various areas of my financial struggles, including if i was able to afford social activities such as hanging out with friends, going to the movies, etc. as part of my necessary purchases. the question was specifically phrased as "Do you have enough money every month to be able to afford social activities?"

this was not proposed as a "luxury". the question was not phrased as "Do you have enough money every month to afford luxuries/luxury purchases?" this was listed with the necessities like food, housing, medical needs, transportation, bills, and clothing. this made me burst into tears when i realized it was considered a necessary part of everyone's mental and well being. my case manager told me that not a singular person on this planet deserves to have to "earn" the right to socialize, interact with leisure activities, or to do things that bring you personal fulfillment. your money does not, and should not entirely go toward survival and practicality. it will ruin your mental health.

to any poor person who has ever been told that they don't "need" or "deserve" social or leisure activities or that your money "needs" to go 100% toward survival: they are straight up lying to you. it is a fundamental part of your mental health. don't fucking listen to them.

[visenyaism]

i don’t know about you guys but the main reason i am still on tumblr in 2024 is BECAUSE it is the most cloutless least influential social media app out there and that is the experience i am after. absolutely none of this will ever translate into significant attention or real success in my life and that is so beautiful.

[visenyaism]

what in the

[kate-mccannon]

This is wild

[julyzaa]

the hilarity of the post being I will have no clout in the cloutless website being uploaded by a white girl seeking clout in the insufferable seeking clout app

[fapper]

HELPPP WHY WOULD THE INTERVIEWER ASK THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE 💀💀💀

[stonerzelda]

reminds me of this bit from a breaking bad interview with jonathan banks lol

[jaubaius]

[nabi3000]

[narcissistcookbook]

the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

eel deets from @whitefangthefightingwolf

[reikomakoto]

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I hate correcting customers who call me ma'am and miss and honey over the phone, because only about 30 percent of the time do they apologize and start calling me sir, while 70 percent of the time they double down assuming I was trans and continue misgendering me on purpose to show how little respect they have for me as a human being. "Thank you, MISS."

I'm a cis man, for the record.

Whenever I correct someone and they keep it up, I simply refuse service. "Oh, I'm sorry, we're completeley booked up the day you wanted. Yeah, no, we're booked up on your backup dates too. Looks like our next opening isn't until, hmm, mid-November. Oh, but it doesn't have enough beds for your party. We could probably fit you in around New Years, but you'd have to change rooms every day. You might wanna try [more expensive motel] a few blocks north of us, they might have vacancies. Have a good day."

I've been able to dodge what few complaints we've gotten so far because they all tell my boss that they just spoke to a very nasty woman, and she has no idea who they're talking about. "You must have dialed the wrong number, because I'm the only woman here, and I didn't talk to you." That PISSES THEM OFF, and she doesn't understand why they respond with "well we've been staying there for years, but we're never coming back." They think she's protecting me, an afab trans man, and are disgusted by it, but from her perspective they're just crazy people who are complaining about made up bullshit; it doesn't even cross her mind that they're talking about me. Why would it?

My boss is like 70 or 75, and was a Republican until 2016. It's never come up in conversation, but something tells me she wouldn't exactly be a trans ally. I'm in a weird position here, and it's hilarious.

[anexperimentallife]

[therequisitewatson]

[orbitalyear-deactivated20230513]

old gods are waking

[dragon-in-a-fez]

idea:

[day-time-dream]

[itsmorelikelythanyoudthink]

new and improved polen allergies

[bbcwhereareyou]

@colorschanging Look at this! (x)

[sealsdaily]

Today's Seal Is: Hearty Stew

[littleguysdaily]

[fieldsarebreathing]

Does he mean anything to you

[phoneticmeow]

[flareonfloof]

[idiotdotdotdot]

[transarsonist]

disturbingly average customer service experience

[kaity--did]

Y’all being pregnant while moving into a new house is BUCKWILD

My husband is an intelligent man, but he has gotten in his head that if I lift one box I will PERISH

[kaity--did]

Here is the problem in a nutshell

Would I love to let my husband do everything? Of course?

But this absolute GIANT of a man after TEN YEARS together still has no spatial awareness and NO AWARENESS that his a A FOOT AND A HALF taller than me. If he is left to put thing away, he will do so diligently but he PUTS EVERYTHING ON THE TOP SHELF and my TINY TREX ARMS CAN NOT MAKE THAT TRIP

[kaity--did]

I threw out my back and he’s now convinced that it’s his fault for letting me carry paper plates in the house my self and that he’s going to be a terrible father

This man has a LAW DEGREE and is a PRACTICING ATTORNEY

[kaity--did]

“You have two skeletons inside you right now that is double the amount I have. You are my sweet special Eldritch Horror” - My Husband

Thanks I think?

[kaity--did]

“It’s insane that we just made a person! I’ve never even met a baby before what do I say?!”

Not worried about diapers here folks, just first impressions

[kaity--did]

“I’m going be be a dad which is just buckwild. I have your pregnancy checklist but here is my fatherhood check list

1. I need a riding lawn mower

2. I need a white tank top

3. I need a beer, particularly an amber colored one

4. I need a book of puns

5. I need a baby back pack to carry said baby

6. I want my own diaper bag, and I want it to be STYLISH

Kait are you writing this down this is important?”

[kaity--did]

Me: a lot of people on the internet are calling you a himbo, would you like to respond?

Husband: I am often very dumb, and I do drink the respect women juice like fine wine, however I am not very strong, and I just don’t know if I can accept this title if I do not meet all the qualifications

Me: I don’t know, you lifted all those boxes on your own

Husband: this was simply DAD ENERGY

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[kaity--did]

I can not with this fool

[catgirlnailpolish]

literally marry him

[kaity--did]

I have great news my friend

[404computerhamstersnotfound]

marry him again

[kaity--did]

I’ve read him some of these replies and he got very upset and yelled (which if you know my husband is barely over a whisper) “I CANT MARRY YOU ANY HARDER I KNOW IVE GOOGLED IT MANY TIMES”

Y’all I’m obsessed with this idiot

[birdiesthings]

This is an amazing relationship

[screeching-painter-witch]

op found a man who doesn’t yell? queen energy, buckwild

[kaity--did]

I have heard this man yell exactly one time in my life and it was when I installed a fabreeze air freshener robot without telling him and I accidentally put it at exactly his mouth hight

I heard a squeal and then he yelled

“THIS DUMB ROBOT JUST SPRAYED PERFUME IN MY MOUTH!”

and then he apologized to me and the robot for his tone 😂



[anais-ninja-bitch]

i'd ask how he made it through law school, but i know too many dumbass lawyers.

[tumbler-tidbits]

This just made me smile lol

[honeypiehotchner]

Okay I had to reblog this for how hysterical and wholesome it is 🥺

[into-the-groove]

favorite photo of all time not even joking

[lockdown-nostalgia]

FUN FACT! I've seen this post on various blogs for quite some years and I can finally tell you guys: I know this cat! It is THIS VERY ONE:

The bar is called Prik obviously, it's in Amsterdam, and last time I checked, the cat is called "Prikkedik" (I've left Facebook a long time ago so maybe they've replaced her since, idk).

It's also a very nice gay bar with Very Nice People by the way. Highly recommended if you want a gay cocktail in Amsterdam Centrum (10-15 mins walk from Cantral Station). The cat may be hard to find when it's busy on evenings.

And on the second picture you can even see where the first pic was taken:

Thank you for attending my TED talk.

Please clap.

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[so-much-for-subtlety]

they have him on their website 🧡