[iamthemaestro]

found this at an antique shop the other day and was immediately like oh this belongs on tumblr. sniles sneetly. fwowns fwangry.

[world-of-lang]

but for this two-faced bitch there are twice as many stars as usual

[cheaphalloweencostume]

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

[goofda]

“Imma destroy that pussy” my friend 😔

[ri5k]

the replacement of websites with apps sounds so backwards when you actually describe it. like hmm you have to download an entire program onto your device each time you want access to a portal, where it takes up storage indefinitely. somebody should invent an app where you can "browse" any portal just by typing in its address... 🥴

[savrenim]

......suddenly struck by the idea for a piece of worldbuilding of "fae don't like iron bc it is the most stable element*"

*as in elements higher you can extract energy via fission and lower you can extract energy via fusion but iron itself there is no excess binding energy to extract at all

[savrenim]

YOU. YOU SEE MY VISION.

[ospreyonthemoon]

People: exposure to the fae realms makes you weak and sickly. Because of the fae

The fae: wow wow wow i LOVE uranium!!!! We should put it ALLLL over our land!!! This won't cause problems!

[whumpster-fire]

What people think is the problem with going in Faerie Mounds: the food is cursed

What the actual problem is: Radon. So much radon.

[sparklebog]

Didn't realize they made emergency thermal blankets for babies

[sparklebog]

It's scary to think about babies in an emergency but I guess it's a crazy world out there

Emergency baby

[fuckblast]

[Francisco de Goya]

[toskarinfr]

[princessslea]

Using this as a spell to keep tumblr alive at least until this post is accurate

[sherdnerd]

Picard's delivery here is so funny. He takes this extremely seriously

[ilexvici]

this party is of the upmost importance mr data

[deoxoid]

his wife has filled THEIR house with ANTIQUES. to AVOID DAMAGING HER VALUABLES i fuck him on the floor

[manyblinkinglights]

#feminist retelling

[brilliantpines]

do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that

[brilliantpines]

is anybody out there

[acakewalkofcrocodiles]

[cuppydogshane]

the grink was there. it didnt change anything but it still matters that the grink was there.

[whenmoments]

this post just cant be on its own. it needs the accompanying pic “when you’re level 80” that is exactly the same image, but the stick has glowing runes on it and the crabs are purple

[thevideowall]

Ok, I had nothing better to do with my monday night

[thetenk]

[daclusia-deactivated20190718]

This gets better every time i see it.

[quendergeer]

has anyone got the version “when you’re level 1 but bought the cosmetic package” and he’s wearing a santa hat and hitting the crabs with a candy cane

[sword-and-nightingale]

[muppetmagic]

the simpsons + my favorite lgbt+ moments

[ultraviolet-divergence]

I love in science fiction when something’s an array. The sensor array. The navigational array. Weapons array. Goddamn, yes. Get that shit in an array.

[wifefiber-deactivated-deactivat]

[conronorock]

yuri of the week

[softtaulette-deactivated2018032]

What if birds could actually speak English and we were speaking bird the whole time. Like really how weird would that be?

[galbos]

the geese are back? God I hate them so fucking much.

[darling-highness-deactivated201]

what the fuck is this newspaper

[catcrumb]

[theunfairfolk]

in elementary school i figured out how to customize the classroom desktop's autocorrect to make Word change whole sentences. this made it appear almost like the computer was responding to you. you could, for example, type in "where did i put my keys", hit enter, and watch it switch to "you put them under the couch". this was before chatbots, and we were all 9 so i considered it closer to a magic trick than a tech one.

i immediately scripted out a dialogue exchange between me and a girl who had died by the swings (classic). i invited another student over and told them i had found a ghost, then proceeded to type out the pre-scripted exchange. i was immediately pulled into the counselors office. the kicker was that none of the adults could figure out how i did it. i had to show them the menu and everything.

[theunfairfolk]

important detail i forgot to add: the swing ghost wanted blood sacrifices from the students. in my defense it was "only a few drops".