a lover and a hater

kara. 27. moody femme seeking peace and quiet (she/her)

[gunsandfireandshit]

[hudconvent]

hollanov texts are like

ILYA: [game pigeon 8ball]

ILYA: ur turn

ILYA: ur turn

ILYA: ur turn

ILYA: [close up photo of bug bite]

ILYA: u think this is normal its really red

SHANE: Well did you scratch it?

ILYA: yea of course because it itches

ILYA: [emphasize react ‼️ on 8ball]

ILYA: play me back

ILYA: [mirror dick pic]

ILYA: u think this is normal? ;))

SHANE: I’m in the car with my mom and everything you’re sending me is coming up on the CarPlay

ILYA: 😳

ILYA: 🙈

[marypickfords]

Lake Mungo (Joel Anderson, 2008)

[ryebreadgf]

[ivealwayssaidthis]

I’ll be watching the world cup final with a passionate 85 year old spanish woman in her living room. I know spain has a sort of complicated past colonially speaking but for my sake let’s root for españa today thanks

[wontonsoupinthemorning-deactiva]

message to all bitches

please survive

[sizzlingcandyjellyfishhhhhh]

so what if I want to have total control over every single thing at all times. just let me lol

[symphoniccowboy]

ilya 11 vodka redbulls deep at the club search history

How defend self from horse

Horse self-defense technique

Horse self-defense technique advanced

Defeat ancient horse technology

Hatman real or fake

Is killing horses illegal

Killing horse in self-defense legal yes ir no

[teathattast]

[dragonflavoredcake]

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria is the weirdest ADHD symptom ever. Like hello yes my weird brain chemistry manifests as Whiny Crybaby Disorder

[eroscestlavie]

btw this is not a universally agreed upon "symptom" of ADHD and I think many people would benefit from treating it as part & parcel of ADHD's broad, foundational trait: inability to do emotional regulation. A feeling of total rejection and terror at failure is a treatable and manageable issue. For me, I found it easier to manage once recognized that the reason I was having these reactions is that like many other emotional states, I couldn't "exit" an emotional state related to feelings of rejection once I was in it.

imo way too many people are going through life thinking they're just going to be sensitive to rejection for life because of how some people (not OP, but definitely plenty of ADHD influencers) talk about this "symptom." I don't think it's terribly productive that it gets constantly cordoned off as its own thing. like a lot of ADHD, while it sucks to have it shape your life up to the point you realize what it is, it is indeed possible to exposure therapy & DBT your way out of it.

signed: someone with ADHD who used to not be able to take critical feedback from anyone every and is now a freelancer and gets critical feedback three times before breakfast. still workin on it but it's very possible to go from "whiny crybaby disorder" to "mostly functional, if slightly sensitive ADHD adult"

[grison-in-space]

I also think it's worth noting that rejection sensitive dysphoria is most parsimoniously interpreted as a trauma reaction—a learned response to a potential signals of social relationship deteriorating for reasons the ADHD person can't necessarily control. Social relationships are incredibly important to humans, and ADHD (especially undiagnosed and undisclosed) really sets us up to fail. This is especially true given that perceived social blame for stressful situations is a massive factor in transmuting stressful experiences into lasting trauma, and ADHDers are typically judged to be personally responsible for the failures that happen as a result of attentional, time awareness, or memory failures.

What conceptualizing RSD as a category of trauma response to social triggers does is allow us to treat it like any other trauma response. It pulls RSD out of the bioessentialist framework and into the realm of injuries that can be treated, learned associations that can be unlearned. It turns out that the same techniques that help with PTSD triggers, including the same damn meds (hi, clonidine), are effective for helping reduce RSD. (It also explains why RSD is also common in autistic people, who often have a similar history of social error and narratives of self blame, without requiring inherent neurological differences.)

It's a common kind of stress injury, basically. It's not Whiny Crybaby Disorder; it's more like shin splints. Getting better shoes for running, being careful about the ground you run on, and letting the splints heal properly can all help make shin splints go away when you've been running barefoot on concrete roads your whole life.

[featurefilms]

I Saw the TV Glow (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun

[urie]

its soooo funny its so funny that shane is all drunk earnest sparkly eyed like ohh shit thats ilya ok play it cool say something casual say something normal say something normal and what comes out of his mouth is a suicide joke ep1 rooftop scene you will always be famous

[twinsfawn]

[ivealwayssaidthis]

my life has improved immensely since I returned to my original and natural state of being (exclusively and always wearing silver hoop earrings)

[balkansoul-deactivated20220924]

the only real feminine urge out there is having lesbian sex. everything else is debatable

[spicyraeman]

“hes a woman to me” IS HE? or are you equating women with submissive character traits you've arbitrarily put on a random man

[aoelustious]

“he’s a woman to me” “ummm isn’t that kind of misogynistic? are you equating womanhood with submission—”

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK sorry i couldn’t hear you over the sound of me putting a fictional man in a slutty apron and calling him mommy. sorry. i was too busy hand-feeding him strawberries and then writing 12k of emotional devastation and domestic porn. sorry i gendered him like a little fucked up doll in a victorian nursery.

YES. HE’S A WOMAN TO ME. HE’S A HOUSEWIFE. HE’S A HIGH-FEM BRAT. HE’S A PRETTY LITTLE THING WHO GETS RAWED IN THE MOONLIGHT AND MAKES SOFT WHIMPERS AND BAKES BREAD TO COPE. AND I DO NOT CARE IF IT MAKES SENSE.

HE IS MADE OF TROPES. HE IS MADE OF VIBES. HE IS MADE OF GLITTER AND TEARS AND POST-WAR PTSD. HE IS WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT. HE IS NOT A MAN. HE IS NOT A WOMAN. HE IS A TRAGEDY IN LACE.

you’re talking about “misogyny” like i didn’t just write a fic where he gets folded in half by a feral beast of a love interest and then cries because he’s “too used to not being touched gently.” BABE. THERE IS NO DIGNITY HERE. ONLY CATHARSIS.

your academic thinkpiece cannot survive the heat of my horny little monkey brain. you want to talk about gender roles?? I WANT TO PUT HIM IN A COLLAR. I WANT TO GIVE HIM A GENDERCRISIS VIA DICK. I WANT TO MAKE HIM THE MAID AND THE MUSE AND THE MADONNA.

and also? sometimes i call him a manwhore for getting railed twice in one chapter and still being emotionally unavailable. because HE DESERVES IT. because I SAID SO. because it’s FUNNY and UNHINGED and that’s the POINT.

you are not fixing the world. i am not breaking it. we are both feral rats arguing over a Barbie doll in a trench coat. take your discourse and go. i’ve got work to do. i’m about to make him lactate out of spite.

[ex-riddlecats]

this is already an absolutely tone-deaf and borderline transmisogynistic response but i think it gets even more jawdropping when your blog makes it really obvious youre talking about alexander hamilton

[girlmostlikely]

Pussy from someone at their wits end