Where Is The Lie

[therealsaintscully]

10,000!

I reached an amazing milestone today: my Johnlock soul fic, Erosion, hit 10K reads. I feel a little silly celebrating this, but it’s genuinely very moving to me ❤️. It’s my most personal fic, and it contains more of my own life experiences than anything else I’ve written. I’m very honoured that it seems to resonate with readers.

If you’ve read it, I hope you enjoyed it — and if you haven’t yet, I hope you do!

[cupidford]

You're Not Designed to be Alone by thalialunacy

Johnlock Love Letters #2418

A journey from friends to more, told in bite-sized pieces.

[sacred-portal]

[alboardman]

The past.

[redscharlach]

Disco biscuits?

[film-alibi-deactivated20150530]

Dear me Mr. Holmes, Dear me

[navydream]

I had this around somewhere…

[awkward-bob-reynolds]

[tendalee]

[junejuly15]

Sherlock - Silhouettes

[tendalee]

[lisbeth-kk]

God lord!

[practicefortheheart]

It’s not perfect, but I just had to try. :/

[scrub456]

Working on something. Here's a... preview? Rough line art... idk.

***GoFundMe (for urgent medical expenses), Ko-Fi, PayPal, Venmo, CashApp, Amazon Wishlist***

[scrub456]

I'll be posting these, as well as updates, over on AO3 as well. 💙

[scrub456]

I struggled with posting this here, because it's so very personal. But I've been kinda MIA for a long while, and I felt like my friends deserved an explanation.

This is a long post. Also, TW: I'm going to be sharing health/medical issues, including post surgery complications. Nothing too detailed or gory, but just please be aware.

(TLDR: long post with personal medical details, and financial hardship following the cut)

Back in December, right before Christmas, I was in the hospital with cellulitis on my lower abdomen. It was a recurring issue over the past three years, and I had developed a few wounds that weren't healing well. I'd been seeing an infection specialist, and she expressed concern that because I had developed lymphedema in the area, surgery might be the only option.

So, after discussions with my primary care provider, and pulmonary specialist who agreed the constant wounds and infections were compounding my upper respiratory issues, I saw a surgeon. He immediately said the area of lymphedema was exceptionally bad, and the scope of the surgery was going to be a rather large area of my lower abdomen. He was amazed I walked into the appointment under my own strength, let alone was continuing to work.

By that point, I was in almost constant pain from the wounds, and the risk of further infection was too great. Plus, with my body constantly fighting, I was catching every virus that was going around, and my lungs were taking the hit. So I agreed to the surgery.

I had surgery on April 10th, and it went well, as far as removing the large area of lymphedema and wounds. I lost more blood than expected, and I was in ICU for three days, just to maintain constant care, then was in the surgical unit for five days. The surgeon was pleased, but we had to be vigilant for infection.

Things were going well, but then an area of the incision opened up, and less than a week after going home from the hospital, I was back in the hospital for observation. The area that had opened up was deep, and complex, and I ended up needing a wound vac. I was in the hospital for an additional five days, and the care that second stay was abysmal, and I actually feel like it set my recovery back by a week.

Now, almost six weeks later, the wound vac is doing its job, and the large area is healing well, though slow. But, another area on the incision has since opened. Not large enough to need the wound vac, but there have been some complications, needing addressed by the surgeon, and continued heavy antibiotics, which have their own unpleasantries, including digestive issues and the fact I cannot be on my anxiety meds as they will cause a negative reaction.

Most of the incision looks very good, and healing is happening, though it's taking longer than I'd hoped. The plan was to be off work for six weeks, but this past Wednesday the surgeon added another two weeks (eight total now), but said I need to prepare for longer, at least another month (almost three months), so the wound vac can continue to work and the second open area can heal.

I'm sorry it took so long to fill you in. You all mean the world to me, with your friendship, constant encouragement, and just the pure joy and loveliness you bring to my life with your art and writing and life observations. If you believe in prayer, please say a prayer, or send all the positive energy, for me and for my sister (my number one support system, who recently fought her own health battle against breast cancer - she's now cancer free, but there are still more preventative surgeries in her future, BUT she's learned all there is to know about my wound care from the home health nurse).

Now for the part I really hate. It honestly hurts me to ask this. It's a matter of pride, and humiliates me to do so, but since I'm off work, we're needing some help. I DO have insurance, though I have to pay for it off the Marketplace (which is akin to extortion), so that does help some with medical expenses (but it's not great - since I was working before now, even though I was part time, I don't qualify for medicaid or any government or medical assistance). The doctor office I work for is private practice, and we're too small to qualify for FMLA, so I'm waiting on a short term disability claim through Aflac to go through, but they've already denied it twice, and have been dragging their feet for weeks. I used up all my paid time off that first week. I've had no income since the end of April, and I don't know what we're going to do. It's the end of the month, and I'm facing a mountain of bills I don't have any way to pay, and we have basic household needs that we cannot afford because the government has also been fighting my sister on her disability income.

I know things are really, really hard for everyone right now, and I am humiliated needing to ask for help. Again. Please know, any contributions will go directly to maintaining housing, as well as covering utilities, basic needs, and medical needs, and transportation to medical appointments.

A friend suggested I create an Amazon Wishlist, items that will help with my care, and include things we use daily, as well as a Go Fund Me. I do have a Ko-Fi, PayPal (@AngelaGlassner), CashApp ($angmglass), and Venmo (@AngieGlassner).

I have no expectations of you, friends, and I mean that in the sincerest way possible. I know everyone is struggling right now, and if you cannot help, I understand. You must first take care of you and your family unit. I care for you all deeply, no matter what. And want you to know, that when I am able, I intend, as always, to pay it forward.

Thank you, lovelies, for taking the time to read through this. I wish all the very best things for you, and I appreciate you more than I can ever fully express.

[scrub456]

Thank you so much to all my lovelies who have reached out with love and encouragement... you've been boosting my mental health, which is in turn a good thing for my physical health and healing. You are making an impact for good in my life, and I am forever thankful for you.

And thank you to those who have given to help financially. I know things are so difficult for everyone right now, but just know both my sister and I appreciate you more than you can possibly know.

[scrub456]

*Medical Update*

Nothing graphic, just asking for prayers if you pray, or positive energy... There's been a complication on the incision site where the wound vac is. Not sure if it's a pocket of just fluid, or infection, or... what. But I will be having a CT scan on Thursday, and the surgeon will be evaluating it on Friday for next steps.

I'm really, really weary of this. Every positive step forward, there's another step back. I'm frustrated, and honestly my mental health/anxiety is not great this morning. I just want to be well. And every additional day of complications means additional days I can't return to work. Ugh.

I'm sorry, friends. I try as hard as I can to keep things at least a little positive here in my Tumblr space, but I'm really, really struggling to find the positive today.

[scrub456]

*URGENT HELP NEEDED*

Hello, friends. I am so sorry it has been so long since my last update. I do need to let you know that my surgery wounds are healing well. The smallest of the three is completely closed up, the second one is nearly closed up, and the third is getting smaller and more shallow by the week. It has been a few days since I had to last wear the wound vac, and I am beyond glad for that.

Unfortunately, the shingles virus I had in my eye has come back with a vengeance, and the vision in my right eye has been blurry for a few weeks now, making doing art, or anything really, difficult. My eye doctor had me see a specialist, and he agrees my doctor is doing everything that can be done.

Now to the urgent part. My sister's car just got impounded because her tags are expired. We knew they were, but we couldn't do anything about it. I am nearly four months out of work due to my surgery, and money has been... well, there is none. This is happening in real time, she is currently waiting on a friend to pick her up so they can tow the car. I have no way to pay the fine or get the car out of the impound lot, and the amount increases each day it's there. Right now my car is in need of repair, so we are without a vehicle. We both have so many medical appointments we cannot be without a car.

I wouldn't ask if I wasn't desperate, and it breaks my heart to do so. You have all been so kind, and it destroys me to come to you asking so much. But if you are able to help, I have a few ways you can do so: GoFundMe, Ko-Fi, PayPal, CashApp, Venmo.

If you can't help, which I completely understand, as I know times are hard for everyone, and there are no hard feelings or even expectations, would you please consider sharing this post? Thank you, friends. 💙

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello! I’m looking for a fic. It’s post-reichenbach. The scene where Sherlock comes back in the restaurant happens but when John chokes Sherlock he sees that part of Sherlock’s hand is missing and then learns out about the torture and stuff. And then John and Mary break up somehow and John prescribes Sherlock morphine for the pain in his hand but Sherlock gets addicted and eventually when John refuses to give him more morphine he runs off to shoot up somewhere. I also think it was mentioned that Sherlock sold himself for drugs. And at the end Sherlock comes home and it’s a happy ending. It wasn’t too long. I think around 20k-50k. If you could find it that would be much appreciated!

Hi Nonny!

OOOOOHH! Definitely haven't heard of this one, as far as I know. The "missing part of his hand" would have twigged something in my memory right away, LOL. Sounds like an interesting read though, I'd like to know myself.

Anyone able to help us out with this one?

[inevitably-johnlocked]

lem0nf0x said: Oh! I know this, it’s one of my favourites! https://archiveofourown.org/works/2214234/chapters/4854126

===

Everyone Needs a Place by PixChuu22 (E, 32,202 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Drug Addiction, Past Rape/Non-Con, Drug Abuse, Sherlock Whump, Permanent Injury, Injury Recovery, Mastrubation, Blow Jobs, PTSD, Angst with Happy Ending) – Sherlock Holmes walks back into Dr. John Watson's life two years after his 'death' wearing a tuxedo and a smile and missing half of his left hand. As always, John is drawn back into Sherlock's orbit and finds himself trying to heal someone with physical, emotional, and psychological scars... often to the detriment of himself.

=====

WHEE!! Thank you so much Lovely!! :D I am so happy it was found, definitely sounds like it's the right one :)

[invisible-goats]

saw an ad outside a local restaurant that said "have a star-crossed dinner this valentine's day"

do...do people not know being star-crossed is bad?

"come here and have a dinner that's cursed by fate"

[3liza]

everone in the replies going "no it isnt" and "ive never heard it used that way before" take a look around at what and who you are surrounding yourself with. ignorance is contagious, never just assume you know the actual literal meaning of anything, look it up

[earlgreytea68]

I am reading Gulliver's Travels for the first time ever. Let me tell you, a lot more bathroom humor than I was expecting! But it's so interesting to think about when this was written and how unexpected the vastness of the world must have felt to them, how entirely unknown. I'm only about a quarter of the way through but I had to stop to share this detail: There's this whole bit where Gulliver makes an enemy of some Lilliputian court official because the guy thinks Gulliver is having an affair with his wife, and Gulliver in the book is all like "I assure you, it was all perfectly proper, I was never alone with her," and I'm like.......this woman is six inches tall. I am so distracted by imagining exactly how the sex would be happening here. What does the court official think is happening! What does Gulliver imagine we think is going on with him and this woman! Like....... Yeah this book is wild lol

[earlgreytea68]

Now he is in Brobdingnag (because he was home for like two months with his wife and kids and then he was like "fuck this, I would rather go out and almost die again") and this story has gotten a million times wilder. First his caretaker who dresses him every day is a nine-year-old girl, so there's that. And then the ladies of the court are always walking around naked in front of him. I guess because they consider him an insect? But in addition they take off all of Gulliver's clothes, which is...weird, and then they...stick his naked body between their breasts?????? What????? And this is so unsexual because the language Gulliver uses to describe every single bump, hair, pustule, pore, etc on these people's bodies is so graphic and revolting. Or maybe it's just not my kink. If it's your kink, know there's a whole detail about one woman who likes to make Gulliver sit on her erect nipple.

Seriously this book is quite something.

Detail I forgot to mention about Lilliput that I loved, though: the Lilliputian emperor signs his proclamations that he is "his majesty, emperor of Lilliput, delight and terror of the universe." Delight and terror of the universe. I love that. I want to put it in my email signature lol

[earlgreytea68]

Have now finished reading Gulliver's Travels. It's less fun after Brobdingnag, so I get how that's the bit that everyone really remembers. But the satire gets more cutting in the second half of the book. This is partly why it's less fun, because it's just him being like, "HERE'S HOW TERRIBLE HUMAN CIVILIZATION IS," for just straight pages. Instead of showing it through, like, a parable. You know?

It *is* cutting, though. Like, not fun and not enjoyable and a little draggy but it is *cutting.* The whole bit where he stays with the horse people (I could never, ever remember the spelling of their unpronounceable name: Houhymnym? I know I could look it up but anyway) where he has to explain human society to them and it's just utterly appalling thing after utterly appalling thing.....god. It was brutal to read. Brutal to read and know that it was like that in 17-whatever and it's like that now, despite the work of writers like Jonathan Swift being like, PAY ATTENTION TO HOW AWFUL THIS IS.

Weirdest bit of all to me: .......so, is Yahoo the company/email service/etc truly named after the brutish, revolting humans in this book?????? Why would they make that choice????? I assume they called themselves "yahoo" after, like, the meaning as it has evolved into just like an exclamation or whatever, but then that makes me wonder about how that ever happened? Did Swift invent the word "yahoo" or did it exist before him? Probably I could do research and figure this out. (I'm not asking ChatGPT lolololololol)

[earlgreytea68]

also P.S. there's a version of this book where Gulliver FINALLY comes back to his family after literally FIVE YEARS of hanging out on the horse island and his long-suffering wife has finally given up on him and gone out to find her kids a real father, for real. I'm going to rewrite this book from the POV of poor Mrs. Gulliver

[earlgreytea68]

okay, I just looked and YAHOO WAS COINED BY JONATHAN SWIFT. HE MADE THE WORD UP. HE MADE THE WORD UP TO DESCRIBE HOW INCREDIBLY TERRIBLE HUMANS ARE AND WE JUST TOOK IT AND STARTED USING IT WITH ZERO AWARENESS OF WHAT HE WAS DOINGGGGGGG

Jonathan Swift makes me hope there's not an afterlife so that he's not sitting up there watching what we did with his masterful satire of us. I just looked at his Wikipedia and he has a despairing quote, after the book became a bestseller, about how it was supposed to "vex us, not divert us," and I'm like, god, it's just got worse and worse, how little we appear to understand what this book was about. POOR JONATHAN SWIFT lololol

[earlgreytea68]

Gulliver's Travels was published in 1725. It's a satire. If you've never read it, it's a pretty brutal satire. It makes fun of literally everything. And not in, like, a fond and gentle way. In a way that's supposed to shake us and be like, LOOK HOW STUPID THIS ALL IS.

And here's a little bit of satire from the book. In this scene, Swift is satirizing the pointlessness of academia. And, to do so.....HE INVENTS GENERATIVE AI:

The first professor I saw, was in a very large room, with forty pupils about him. After salutation, observing me to look earnestly upon a frame, which took up the greatest part of both the length and breadth of the room, he said, “Perhaps I might wonder to see him employed in a project for improving speculative knowledge, by practical and mechanical operations. But the world would soon be sensible of its usefulness; and he flattered himself, that a more noble, exalted thought never sprang in any other man’s head. Every one knew how laborious the usual method is of attaining to arts and sciences; whereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant person, at a reasonable charge, and with a little bodily labour, might write books in philosophy, poetry, politics, laws, mathematics, and theology, without the least assistance from genius or study.” He then led me to the frame, about the sides, whereof all his pupils stood in ranks. It was twenty feet square, placed in the middle of the room. The superficies was composed of several bits of wood, about the bigness of a die, but some larger than others. They were all linked together by slender wires. These bits of wood were covered, on every square, with paper pasted on them; and on these papers were written all the words of their language, in their several moods, tenses, and declensions; but without any order. The professor then desired me “to observe; for he was going to set his engine at work.” The pupils, at his command, took each of them hold of an iron handle, whereof there were forty fixed round the edges of the frame; and giving them a sudden turn, the whole disposition of the words was entirely changed. He then commanded six-and-thirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as they appeared upon the frame; and where they found three or four words together that might make part of a sentence, they dictated to the four remaining boys, who were scribes. This work was repeated three or four times, and at every turn, the engine was so contrived, that the words shifted into new places, as the square bits of wood moved upside down. Six hours a day the young students were employed in this labour; and the professor showed me several volumes in large folio, already collected, of broken sentences, which he intended to piece together, and out of those rich materials, to give the world a complete body of all arts and sciences; which, however, might be still improved, and much expedited, if the public would raise a fund for making and employing five hundred such frames in Lagado, and oblige the managers to contribute in common their several collections. He assured me “that this invention had employed all his thoughts from his youth; that he had emptied the whole vocabulary into his frame, and made the strictest computation of the general proportion there is in books between the numbers of particles, nouns, and verbs, and other parts of speech.” I made my humblest acknowledgment to this illustrious person, for his great communicativeness; and promised, “if ever I had the good fortune to return to my native country, that I would do him justice, as the sole inventor of this wonderful machine;” the form and contrivance of which I desired leave to delineate on paper, as in the figure here annexed. I told him, “although it were the custom of our learned in Europe to steal inventions from each other, who had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a controversy which was the right owner; yet I would take such caution, that he should have the honour entire, without a rival.”

This is exactly how an LLM works. Absolutely astonishing, that in 1725 Jonathan Swift was like, "Look at this stupid idea" lololololol