My reverse mermaid
dirt enthusiast
$LAYYYTER

Love Begins

@theartofmadeline
RMH

titsay
taylor price
Keni
Not today Justin
No title available
art blog(derogatory)

⁂
Xuebing Du
we're not kids anymore.
almost home
DEAR READER
Claire Keane
styofa doing anything
wallacepolsom

No title available
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Singapore
seen from Spain
seen from United States

seen from Australia
seen from Finland

seen from United States

seen from Japan

seen from United States
seen from Netherlands

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Australia

seen from Netherlands

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
@jenster21
My reverse mermaid
*introducing myself to the guards who caught me* seized to meet you
Hate when I'm trying to find my luggage at the baggage claim but they all look the same. Many such cases.
public defenders get behind me. i’ll defend you this time
“so you like criminals?” I LIKE THE RIGHT TO A FAIR TRIAL.
oh my god
What if Buffy's mom hadn't found out about slaying at the end of season 2 and Buffy had to convince Spike to stay in town and pretend to be in a band with her because that was the cover story they'd told Joyce
And then eventually end up accidentally actually starting a band because it’s easier than maintaining the lie
Joyce says they can use the garage to rehearse and she always makes them snacks. Buffy starts to worry she'll never get Spike to leave
Buffy insists on calling the band Slayer and Spike keeps failing to convince her that there’s already a band with that name
Low key I feel like Buffy would just see it as a cover and it’s a ‘fake band’ but Spike gets like way into it and it’s a Real Band™️ to him and he’s a little annoyed Buffy doesn’t take it as seriously. He’s always like “you missed practice this Tuesday what the hell’s up with that. We have a gig next week btw”
#he starts trailing after her on patrol to bitch about missing practice or how she's sloppy on her chords #starts pitching in on the slayage because vampires keep interrupting his tirades #''EXCUSE ME we are having a ROW'' *stakes fledgling* #no chip necessary spike is literally the guy in the band with zero chill about the band #he undeads the band. he unbreathes the band. he spends all his time not sleeping... on the band. #(willow is their manager xander is the merch guy) #(giles was secretly plotting to lure spike into a trap until he notices spike is... actually better at corralling buffy on patrol than he is #because spike doesn't want her injuring her hands or doing anything that fucks with her breath control) #(giles is also weak to the nostalgia of it all and tunes their instruments when he thinks they're not looking) #(when faith arrives mid-S3 she's quickly recruited to sing backup) (via @entirelytookeen)
@worldsokayestdragon :
#spike after learning Oz plays guitar: why İsn't he in the band? #buffy: he's already in his own band. which is actually a real band unlike our fake band that you keep forgetting is just a cover story #spike: we're never going to make it in the music industry if you don't stop calling our band fake
Spike (with reluctant but knowledgeable backup from Giles) finally convinces her that "Slayer" risks bringing copyright lawyers down upon their heads, a fate worse than vampires
Buffy turns around and re-names their band "Fake"
#Buffy at their next concert: hi this is my Fake band and you're at my Fake concert#Fake band fans go NUTS when the Fake lead singer pulls her signature move: peacing out mid-song to go beat up some guys out back#Meanwhile: extended guitar and drum solos#the fans eat. that. gimmick. up.#Buffy returning covered in blood an hour later: oh god you're still going. Okay Fake second song here we go#and the crowd goes WILD
This comic is genuinely how I remember which is which.
Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.
I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."
As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.
Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.
A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.
As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"
Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.
You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.
It was not.
It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.
And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.
This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.
After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.
None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.
With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.
Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.
"Phyllis," said he.
The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.
"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"
Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.
Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.
Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."
one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"
the fact that this reference was that fucking precise was something they went on to tell people about for years.
I am sorry I am not very good with bussiness, is it good when the market looks like this.
you people have one joke
I enjoy it immensely when a commenter addresses all of Tumblr as "you people" as if they aren't here at the devil's sacrament with the rest of us
this is actually significantly funnier with audio
I also think that the strength gap is at least partially manufactured women would in fact be stronger overall if little girls were encouraged to do physically taxing games and activities and eat their fill while they’re growing vs having to constantly diet and be sedentary indoors (or god forbid do intense cardio while under-eating). The amount of adult women honestly afraid to lift weights bc they think they’ll get bulky as though bulking isn’t a full time job that athletes have to spend all their time on and anyone on earth gets shredded from just using their adult muscles for their intended purpose, girl your bone density 🥀
if you say women are intentionally nerfed from birth in 2026 people look at you like you’re insane and start condescendingly telling you about how women are just better at different things (but not during their periods haha) but this was a completely basic feminist talking point I grew up with like “girls can do it too! [shot of little girls climbing and running with boys]” nickelodeon commercial tier base level I hate it how is everyone suddenly dumber than the average 7 year old
What we consume, we digest; what is consumed, is no longer what it was. Such is how we are nourished.
Wondermark #1587; And Onward One Opines
[Permalink]
i am not immune to the romance of the monster bridal carry