Jess_:)

Cosas que estaré subiendo si es que no me echo para atrás<3.

[vintagerobin]

I love that you see Barry applying his powers to cooking very successfully multiple times even in situations that leave you wondering how the hell he managed it (how the fuck did he roast a whole bird in less time than it took to turn a doorknob???), meanwhile with Wally it's a toss up whether he's going to give you something edible or something that looks like toxic waste. Idk why but speedsters using their powers to cook is just so charming to me whether they're good at it or not.

[teorias-ilegales-del-circulismo]

Voy a decir algo que DC Comics lleva COBARDEMENTE ignorando durante años:

Barry Allen debería tener las piernas más absurdamente atléticas de toda la Liga de la Justicia.

No, no estoy diciendo “ay qué guapo Flash”. NO. ESTOY HABLANDO DE COHERENCIA FÍSICA.

El hombre:

— corre a velocidades imposibles,

— frena en seco,

— arrastra personas mientras corre,

— crea tornados,

— quema calorías como agujero negro cósmico,

— vive comiendo pizza, hamburguesas y donas,

— y además trabaja sentado como científico forense.

¿Y me quieren decir que tiene el mismo cuerpo genérico de “superhéroe musculoso cuadrado” que medio DC?

NO.

Ese hombre debería tener:

piernas de infarto,

músculos sobre músculos,

core de velocista olímpico mutante,

y unas costuras de pantalón luchando por su vida.

[{SOLO MIRA LAS PIERNAS DE LOS CORREDORES OLÍMPICOS}]

Y lo peor:

Barry NO debería darse cuenta.

NUNCA.

Wally West SABE que tiene piernas increíbles. Wally PRESUME.

Barry no.

Barry se pondría unos shorts rojos porque “se ven cómodos 😀” mientras Iris está teniendo una crisis nerviosa intentando evitar que Central City descubra accidentalmente que Flash y Barry Allen comparten exactamente las mismas piernas demoníacas.

Estoy 100% segura de que Iris:

— le compra pantalones más grandes,

— le esconde shorts,

— le administra cinturones,

— y ya desarrolló trauma textil avanzado.

Mientras Barry sigue preguntándose:

“qué rara es la calidad de la ropa últimamente 🙂”

Y ni siquiera es vanidad.

Ese hombre genuinamente no entiende cómo se ve.

Él puede:

— discutir física avanzada con Batman,

— corregir teorías científicas,

— salvar el multiverso,

— viajar en el tiempo.

Pero no puede entender por qué mágicamente TODOS sus pantalones explotan.

Las verdaderas víctimas de la Speed Force no son las líneas temporales.

SON LAS COSTURAS.

°•°

Además, necesito que hablemos del hecho de que DC literalmente sexualiza a TODO EL MUNDO MENOS AL VELOCISTA.

Nightwing:

“miren su trasero.”

Batman:

“miren sus músculos.”

Superman:

“miren este dios griego kryptoniano.”

Hal Jordan:

“miren estos hombros de piloto militar.”

Shazam:

“miren este cuerpo mágico divino.”

PERO FLASH.

EL HOMBRE CUYO PODER COMPLETO DEPENDE DE SUS PIERNAS.

“sí, hazlo musculoso genérico 👍”

¿PERDÓN?

Dick Grayson es un acróbata increíble, sí.

Sus piernas y glúteos exagerados tienen lógica interna.

PERO BARRY ALLEN CORRE A VELOCIDADES QUE ROMPEN LA FÍSICA.

Ese hombre debería tener:

— cuádriceps asesinos,

— glúteos capaces de impulsar cohetes,

— pantorrillas que dan miedo,

— un core tan fuerte que probablemente soporte terremotos,

— y un torso compacto de velocista olímpico poseído por la Speed Force.

Y NO.

LO HACEN OTRO RECTÁNGULO MUSCULOSO DE DC.

ES MÁS.

Lo más criminal del universo DC es que puedes ponerle el traje de Flash a Shazam y apenas notas diferencia física 😭

Y eso NO debería pasar.

Shazam tiene sentido como:

“hombre mágico divino cuadrado construido por poderes míticos.”

Barry NO debería verse así.

Barry debería verse:

más dinámico,

más explosivo,

más especializado,

más construido alrededor de movimiento.

Pero no.

Le dieron:

“hombre musculoso rojo con rayitos.”

Y lo PEOR es que cuando hacen genderbend de Barry, DE REPENTE SÍ SABEN.

[{SÉ QUE NO ES EXACTAMENTE BARRY (creo que sí es) PERO O SEA MIREN LAS PIERNAS O SEA… ADEMÁS ES VELOCISTA}]

AHÍ sí le ponen:

— piernas de diosa velocista,

— muslos poderosos,

— caderas atléticas,

— silueta de corredor imposible.

AHHHHHH ENTONCES SÍ ENTIENDEN CÓMO FUNCIONA FLASH 😭⚡

Y mientras tanto Barry en canon:

— rompiendo pantalones,

— destruyendo costuras,

— usando cinturones porque necesita tallas más grandes,

— viviendo con metabolismo de agujero negro,

— y completamente inconsciente de que parece atleta olímpico mutante.

Estoy convencida de que Iris West ha salvado la identidad secreta de Flash más veces administrando pantalones que salvando la ciudad directamente.

[emeraldlupin]

On This Day In The DC Universe (Barry Allen Gets Zapped!)

According to The Flash (1959)/Vol 1 #309 (May 1982), today, April 23rd, at precisely 6:14 PM, was the day that Barry Allen, simple Midwestern police scientist, was struck by lightning, thrown against a bunch of super-electrified chemicals, and transformed into The Fastest Man Alive...The Flash!

Ooh, that looks like it hurt....

Who wants their CSI extra crispy?

Note: The Super DC Calendar 1976 placed this event (minus the time) on October 23rd. This, like the comic reference above, is a Pre-Crisis date. Considering that: A. The comic came later.

B. The calendar creators may not have read the earlier comic

C. The calendar could only fit one thing per day and might have swapped dates even if they did know.

I prefer to go with this date.

[greensaplinggrace]

What's your opinion on the Superbat fanon and fandom?

It's unfortunately not very nice. I generally don't like the fanon characterization of Batman or Superman, because people make Clark too much of a trusting good boy golden retriever wet towel as if he isn't a person fundamentally isolated from humanity with a strong ideological backbone and the ability to speak his mind, and they make Bruce a xenophobic lonely abusive tortured power fantasy icon robbed of all hope as if he isn't the character with the most faith in humanity, the most hope for the future, the most social connections, and one of Superman's oldest friends.

And my problem with so much of Bruce's fanon characterization isn't so much that it's OOC, but just that it isn't treated as something to be critical of at all. People do not treat Batman's character flaws as flaws. They treat everything he does as justified because he exists on a pedestal of humanity and "objectively correct cynicism" about the world. Everything fanon Batman does in his relationship with Superman is justified because of his inherent humanity and his "ability to see the world correctly" and his "fear of the other" being framed as rational. In contrast, Superman's overblown fanon idealism is flattened into stupid naivete and the inability to defend himself either physically or verbally against Batman.

Every fic with Batman is one elaborate power fantasy to justify why he's the better hero. Every "funny" threat he makes to his best friend about keeping a weapon that could kill him goes unchallenged because Superman only exists in these fics to stroke Batman's ego and prove how strong he is. Every camera he puts in his boyfriend's apartment, and every moment he stalks him between work and home, and every background check he runs, and every violation of privacy he commits is supposed to show how right he is to be wary of things outside the norm—because Clark is secretly "other" after all, and so this somehow makes everything Bruce does to him okay. Every exchange between the two of them is meant to highlight how much more tortured and justified and smart and "real" Batman is compared to Superman, as if Clark himself is not a super genius alien whose entire planet died, and who was raised to be far more in tune with the world's actual struggles than Batman was.

You can't go two steps in the Superbat fandom without running into how awesome the Batkids are and how all the other heroes are just so impressed by them. You can't go two steps without encountering Batman's ridiculous fanon "no metas in gotham" nonsense that is somehow always justified by the narrative and which never goes unchallenged. Even by Superman. You can't go two steps without getting hit in the face with the fact that Batman is apparently the only person in the world who has suffered tragedy. You can't go two steps without encountering some absurd double standard where Batman can always feel betrayed by Clark lying to him but Clark can never feel betrayed by Bruce. You can't go two steps without a fic sucking Batman's dick so hard they flatten one of the most iconic characters ever made in comics just to show how complex and angsty and powerful and amazing their specialist little white rich surveillance state boy is.

Fanon Superbat is the worst. It takes two fascinatingly complex and flawed characters with a rich history and flattens them into caricatures that nine times out of ten serve to make Batman justified narratively in some of the most heinous abuses and personal rights violations I have ever seen. And all of this would be whatever if these fics weren't tagged fucking fluff and wholesome dynamics every single time. It's sick and twisted. If this stuff was just acknowledged to be fanon and it was tagged "unhealthy relationships" we wouldn't be in this mess. But no. People are apparently blind to how shit fanon Batman and fanon Superbat are.

[pnkeki]

STUPID IDEA Hal tosses Barry over his shoulder without thinking, but then totally gets distracted by Barry's great ass

hal stop getting distracted idiot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[wallylinda]

pre-accident i fully believe that barry was satisfied with his life and could honestly even say that he was happy BUT i also think that he's a secret adrenaline junkie whose immediate response to getting superpowers was to create a chemical formula to shrink his costume down into a hollowed out ring complete with a spring mechanism that most certainly was NOT there before barry's modifications to it, and it was only after all of that aesthetic prep work did he go out into the world and start beating up bank robbers. quick reminder that this is a man who'd never once even been in a fist-fight before and decided to be a superhero on a literal whim. the only reasonable conclusion to this is that getting the opportunity to be chained up and or otherwise psychologically tortured in saw-like contraptions every other week was likely the most fulfilling thing to have ever happened to barry short of like. marrying his wife.

[obsidianpegasus]

Basic Fandom Etiquette Everyone Needs to Remember:

Creators do not owe anyone content. Do not ask writers when they will update.

If an author did not ask for criticism , do not give criticism.

Read the tags carefully before reading a fanfic.

If you ignored the tags and were upset, that is your responsibility, not the creator’s.

Disliking a ship does NOT give you the right to attack people who enjoy it.

Do not tell authors or shippers that their ship is “disgusting,” “wrong,” or “shouldn’t exist.” Shipping fictional characters is not a moral failing.

No one is obligated to justify why they ship two fictional characters.

Headcanons are PERSONAL interpretations, not universal truth.

Dark themes in fiction do not equal real life beliefs or intentions.

Leaving kudos or short positive comments genuinely matters.

Not every fanwork is made for you, and that is okay.

Scrolling past content you dislike is better than engaging negatively

Enjoying a fandom later than others does not make someone less of a fan.

Disliking a fanfic does not entitle you to announce that to its creator. Sending hate comments to authors is NEVER justified, even if you disliked the work.

[sasharawrs]

is this a safe space to say, that as a DC fan, I lowkey hate batman....

[somewherefornow]

YOUNG! BARRY ALLEN & YOUNG! WALLY WEST + DRESSING like THEIR HEROES in THE LIFE STORY OF THE FLASH (2011)

[kanonaflowers]

barry allen but he’s a stressed student who suddenly has a child

[jess-bear]

Barry y su lindo hijo<3

[heybaetae]

and if i said that tumblr thought they could get away with that update bc they know the majority of this website ignores the reblog option entirely compared to years ago, so they figured they could just BREAK the very foundation of how this website was built to operate and people would just shrug and be fine with that. please let this be a wake up call. our strong reaction to that change should start to reflect significantly in that ACTUAL reblog count under those notes we just fought for to stay untouched. fandoms and communities cannot thrive on likes alone. as much as tumblr has tried to turn this place into tiktok and twitter, it's not. posts need to circulate. art needs to be seen and shared. tumblr is not tumblr if this is not happening consistently because reblogs are the heartbeat of this website. please don't ever take it for granted. never give tumblr a reason to take away the thing that links us together and amplifies creativity. make reblogging a priority, PLEASE.

[neonvendor]

🔥🔥🔥Happy Birthday, Barry Allen! 🔥🔥🔥

[vinnys-braindumps]

Omega! Barry Allen

Headcanons of Barry Allen as an omega in the universe of the omegaverse >^<

- his pheromones smell like a mix of lightning and rain. like the smell of the end of a thunderstorm

- as the flash he needs to suppress his scent, since when ever he runs he expels pheromones at a faster rate.

- he mainly wears scent patches when out as flash since his metabolism burns through any type of suppressants in minutes.

- due to how much stress he was put under during his childhood he ended up presenting very early.

- because of the way his internal functions are sped up, the period between his heats are shorter then a normal omegas heat.

- during his heat and pre-heat he is very clingy, he practically become a barnacle towards anyone his trusts. he will even go as far as whining and mewling when he gets ignored for more than a minute.

- when I say cling like a barnacle, I mean he clings. arm and legs fully wrapped around whoever scarified their freedom for him.

- takes his nesting very seriously, despite his usual playful demeanor he will growl, snap, and yell at anyone who messes up his carefully made nest, or tries to enter without his permission.

- will happily use his speed to run around and get clothing, pillows, blankets, etc. that smell like his pack (even though they happily give it to him either way)

- overheats very easily due to his speed. everyone has to make sure he stays in a cool room.

- loses his appetite during his heat. it gets to a point of him being forced to eat, mixed with his metabolism it ends up in him losing at least a pound each heat.

- very caring and parental to young pups, and tends to get very upset when they where unscented since he himself never was as a young pup.

- he really wishes to have pups but getting pregnant is difficult for him with how much physical exercise he does and his enhanced body.

[NSFW]

- he has a violent breeding kink, it stems from his wish to have kids but he will beg and beg to get pregnant when heat brained.

- not really vocal in a speaking way, but he whines a lot and will whisper in to the pillow.

- he has crazy stamina, which practically duplicates during heat. even Superman couldn’t wear him out.

- has a size difference kink and gets off like crazy to body worship.

- he wanted to be face to face at all times, will either shove his nose in to the scent gland of the other person or keep eye contact.

- doesn’t mind having more than one person tend to him, in fact he probably really enjoyed the idea of it.

[ami-ven]

Happy 37th Birthday, Barry Allen!

[damisaybats]

Me looking at Bruce Wayne stans make “the kids are abusive to Bruce” prompts, headcanons, and fics trying to act like this doesn’t madden me on the basis that this completely erases THEIR abuse that they faced from Bruce I’m genuinely mad I’m genuinely pissed stop fucking playing with me right now genuinely

[emin-folly]

I need more ppl to talk to about barry and wally, i love them sm omg

😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN YELL AT ME ABOUT THEM ANYTIME

And SAMMMME. Barry and Wally, ouggghhhh. I love them so much, they're so special to me ;; Probably my most favorite father-son dynamic ever as far as I know, I am gently holding them in my hands lovingly rn as we speak.

Barry, who didn't ever mention really wanting kids before meeting Wally (he loves them and he's absolutely fantastic with them, it just wasn't a big deal whether he personally had his own or not). He then sees Wally get hit by the same lightning that gave him his powers and IMMEDIATELY goes Instant Dad Mode (tm). Literally took Wally out to play fetch after knowing Wally for like. An hour, I think at most??? Asjgfhkslsj All the Flashfam men just take one look at each other and go "Welp, you're my son now".

Barry also being among the first to lay a hand on Wally's shoulder tell him he's more than enough, that he's the better Flash and how he respects him as a equal and is just so, so proud of him right out of the gate makes me Feel Too Many Things. Especially after Wally's solo arc where he deals with his crippling identity issues and goes the longest time with barely any support from anybody.

If you want to go extra insane, you can also consider how since Barry is the Speed Force, there's a chance he subconsciously caused the lightning bolt to hit Wally and give him powers so he would have someone else like him ;u;

Also when Barry's love for Wally LITERALLY brought him back to life????? Y e a h

Oh and don't even think for a minute about how Wally was killed in Heroes In Crisis, Barry threw himself into the Speed Force alone desperately screaming and searching for Wally, DESPITE Barry literally stating in previous issues that you run the risk of being assimilated by the Speed Force if you're in there alone ;;

Barry is so Ride-or-Die for Wally, everyone should honestly be really kind of terrified actually, tbh. Barry has strict rules for himself, lines he never EVER wants to cross and it takes hell and high water to push him to that point, but if Wally's the one in danger? ALL of that immediately goes out the window. There is no line Barry wouldn't cross for Wally, Barry's even legitimately killed for Wally's sake before! Knight Terrors showed that Barry is aware on some level deep down that there is literally nothing he wouldn't do for Wally and how even his own subconscious is unnerved by this. And of course, Wally is also just as unhinged about Barry as well! Barry was such a rock for Wally growing up, he was more Wally's father than Rudy could ever even dream to be. Unfortunately, when Barry died, it left such a massive hole, one that Wally would spend over a decade of his life trying and repeatedly failing to fill. He tried so hard to live up to the image of Barry, not just in his mind but in everyone's else's, and he's carried that immense guilt which festered for so long and was only worsened by practically everyone around him telling him he was a pathetic replacement and didn't live up to the "real" Flash. This guilt somewhere along the way became mixed with something of a resentment, resentment for who he wasn't, that he couldn't add up. This plus his deep-seated self loathing issues made it a lot easier to project all of these feelings onto Barry then actually deal with his own repressed trauma. Flash forward to Flashpoint and Wally is there briefly when Barry accidently absorbs all the other speedsters back into the Speed Force and I can't imagine how honestly kind of terrifying that would be. I really like to hc that Wally still feels that tingle of fear around Barry, not knowing if it could spontaneously happen again and rip him away into non-existence.

And then in Flash War, when Wally threatened to break the Speed Force and cripple Barry (and remember, Wally canonically knows Barry's the SF.) Now, true, Eobard was pulling the strings here again as he often likes to do, but I think some of that anger was real on Wally's part, it was just amplified by Eobard's Negative Speed Force. I feel like there's still a lot of unprocessed trauma Wally is Actively Ignoring bc he doesn't want to examine these negative feelings towards Barry. Now I really do want to stress though, that all of this is belied by a very deep and genuine love for Barry. They mean so, so much to each other. They would break the universe for each other. They are so loving and complicated and messy and they're just everything oUGHH. My boyssssss. I love them sm.

[overlyobsessed223]

the flash’s downright refusal to sit in a seat like a normal person is so relatable, honestly

he’ll sit anywhere… including but not limited to trash cans and computers