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good news everybody

Imagine having an alien encounter, but the first person who makes contact has no idea what the fuck these creatures are or why they're in her backyard, and when they try to approach her she just gives the first one a brisk open palm slap across what she figures must be this creature's face. And the alien just goes "oh woah that's sharp. I like it." And they start looking for more people who do that.

Gradually they start mapping out which humans are most likely to just flat-out slap them, and figuring out how much of it is nature vs. nurture, start introducing the hardest slappers to each other, with a surprisingly good success rates as the kind of people who would be down to slap an alien life form are also the kind of people who are down shag somebody who would also do shit like that. While some people insist that these "breeding programs" are dehumanising and an insult to human dignity, the people who would slap an alien without hesitation are treating it like a free matchmaking service, that works better for them than Tinder anyway.

Eventually the descendants of the most powerful slappers have developed into a distinct new type of human, who have honed their slapping skills and capabilities to perfection, and any alien who isn't experienced with getting slapped by humans could no longer handle it, and one brisk smack would just make their head explode.

And that's pretty much what humans did to chili.

queer-as-city-folk

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

evilmom

we made a little bog city on my main in so proud

butterflypeaflowertea

these posts have the same vibes imo 💯

butterflypeaflowertea

and this tweet as well

butterflypeaflowertea

this also

conways

dilfphd

inthefallofasparrow

Just so you know, whenever we invent yet another fake fandom character, they inadvertently blink into existence, ill-formed and meaningless, only to be trapped within the hellish liminal space created by the zeitgeist of our collective consciousness.

therealraewest

I appreciate the historical accuracy of the inclusion of the bounce house

politijohn

Source

posttexasstressdisorder

That last fucking sentence.

cirrates

joking that an adult character who acts childish doesnt know what sex is will never be as funny as saying the same thing about a big tough murderman videogame protag

cirrates

"papyrus doesnt know what sex is" is nothing "solid snake doesnt know what sex is" is an instant killer

pliskin

mythicfictionist

nothing but respect for my ace king

not-a-time-traveler

Technically speaking according to Doom lore, Doomguy is qualified to become the Pope.

therearevampiresinmywardrobe

nothing but respect for my ace pope

soberscientistlife

So many people do not understand the relationship between climate change and cold weather.

headspace-hotel

If you see this post it is important to send it to someone else so they too can understand

headspace-hotel

People hardly ever change their minds in front of you...the conversation becomes one of a series of slow drips that builds up to a realization

gwydionmisha

One bill would define trans people as “obscene matter” and make them keep their distance from schools, while another would force mental heal

We warned you this is where this is going.

pixeljade

I cannot stress enough that this is NOT exaggeration they are calling for the complete abolition of trans people. And you may go "haha well. Thats just West Virginia" which first of all, fuck you for downplaying the struggle of trans people in a place just because you dont live there, and second of all its not just west virginia. This is the goal of all republican regimes across the country.

If you are not fighting against republicans with every fiber of your being at this point you are not a trans ally. If you tolerate the republicans in your family without challenging their ideas about trans people you are not a trans ally. Fight for us goddamnit or we will be culled and our blood will be on your fucking hands.